Re-establishing a frame

[MikeYikes122]

A few years ago, I was semi-dating a girl. We went out on like five successful dates and were messing around a little bit. I don't know if you would define that as "dating", but that's beside the point.

Anyway, I developed oneitis for her real quick because I had just ended college and was living with my parents back then and didn't know any girls my age in the town I used to live in. I in turn started making a ton of AFC moves on her, barraging her with text messages asking her where she was and doing all sorts of dumb sh!t. It actually didn't really seem to lower her IL at all because she was kind of in the same situation as me and was probably willing to put up with a lot. However, matters became much worse when her ex-boyfriend/f-buddy came back into town. She started spending time with him and talking about him all the time. I in turn got jealous and did more AFC/insecure things to compensate. The situation hit its apex when we were all at a party together and she hooked up with the f-buddy in front of me.

Luckily, I hit my breaking point and told her to fvck off. She tried to apologize, but she was met with another "fvck off" from me. I snapped out of the AFC slump and even went so far as to tell her that she should not come crawling back to me when her ex-boyfriend was riding the bench and not getting any national exposure (he was on the football team at her school).

She was actually mad at me because I told her to f-off and told her never to talk to me again. She deleted me on Facebook (dumb MySpace rip-off) and blocked me on AOL Instant Messenger. I'm also assuming she took me out of her cell phone book.

The good news is, the situation was an eye-opener for me and a blessing in disguise. I haven't acted like an AFC since, and I really learned my lesson about spinning plates. However, after never even seeing or hearing from her for nearly two years, I noticed last week that all of a sudden her screenname was appearing on my AIM buddy list again. It looked as if she had unblocked me. Then, earlier tonight I was up late and was working on some stuff for the workday tomorrow. She sent me an instant message, asking me how life was going for me and wondering what I was up to. I have a pretty good feeling she was drunk. I didn't respond to her and just acted like I wasn't at my computer.

I always kind of had a feeling this would happen and that she would in some capacity try to contact me again, especially when she miraculously reappeared on my buddy list again. Her IL was very high when we first started dating. We only got together because when she found out I was in town, she got my phone number from a mutual friend and called me and asked me if I wanted to go out for drinks one night. We messed around the first night we went out and started to date thereafter. Don't ask me how I turned that around into an AFC-fest. Simply put, that was one of my lowest points in the past four or five years. I'm sure I don't have to tell you guys on here this, but months immediately following the end of college can be a difficult time.

Now, my question is, did my frame with her reset and is this why she is getting back in touch with me? Is there a way of re-taking control of the frame with her, or am I giving her control pretty much regardless if I respond to her. I'm not thinking about getting back together with her at all, but I do kind of want to make it known where I live. I wouldn't be opposed to hooking up with her. I have a feeling she is contacting me because she is now out of college and living and working somewhere close to me. I was very physically attracted to her and wouldn't mind getting her into my rotation of plates.

Any thoughts?

 

[MikeYikes122]

I should also mention she is a pretty big AW or at least was when I knew her two years ago. She comes from Buckhead (a very rich part of Atlanta), and she used to have a really bad princess attitude.

 

[jophil28]

I should also mention she is a pretty big AW or at least was when I knew her two years ago. She comes from Buckhead (a very rich part of Atlanta), and she used to have a really bad princess attitude.

What exactly do you want from her ? Is she a "recovering princess" now - a regular at "Princess Anonymous"?'

She is contacting you because she is out of other options. NO dates, no prospects. You are being pulled in to fill a big empty space in her life. She will use you for a while to feed her ego and ultimately she will get some revenge satisfaction on you by dropping you in the Friend Zone. (Geez some women are predictable)

Find a decent woman who is all fresh,shiny and new, THis chick is tarnished by your history together.

 

[STR8UP]

See my recent threads regarding MY AW friend.

She/we have escalated physical contact in the recent past. I could care less if I ever fukk her, but then one night she grabbed my d!ck in the club and made a big deal of it every time I saw her after that.

I took it as "Ok freebie, might as well take advantage of some easy sex" when it was nothing more than an attempt to get my attention off of her friend who I was flirting with.

If you're gonna step on a rattlesnake, don't expect that it won't bite you. The good thing when you are out in the bush is that the snake usually "rattles" giving you warning.

 

[jophil28]

If you're gonna step on a rattlesnake, don't expect that it won't bite you. The good thing when you are out in the bush is that the snake usually "rattles" giving you warning.

And I would add - women don't rattle they just grab your deeck instead..

 

[MikeYikes122]

You guys are probably right, but I'm still going to see if she'll come home with me next weekend. She wants to meet up for drinks. I haven't told her yes or no yet because of Thanksgiving, but I think I'm just going to do it. If it works out for me, then great. But if she starts acting like an AW, then I will just ignore her and quit talking to her.

What do I really have to lose?