"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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raw eggs?

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Mack Bishop

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ok im trying to bulk up so ive been eating 2-3 eggs with my breakfast every morning. thing is i dont really like eggs. so im thinking maybe ill just crack 3 eggs in a cup and chug. is there any advice you guys have for someone new to the raw egg game? should i stir em up or drink em whole? any suggested chasers or mixes? thanks in advance.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Levex

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I used to eat raw eggs for breakfast. what i did was make a small hole with a needle and suck everything out.raw eggs made me fart like crazy though.
 
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octane_orphan

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Cant you get samonela from raw eggs?

I would cook, simply whip and stick in the microwave ... valla ... scrambled egg!
 
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Mack Bishop

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i hate eating cooked eggs they taste like ass to me... im not worried about farts cos they give me gas when i cook em too. not to mention all the protien shakes....

the things we do for mass
salmonella? doesnt sound good. what're the chances of that happening?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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