Rate your self esteem

[Packers2010]

1. what would you rate your self esteem?
this weekend. a 0. ( feel pretty low this weekend. might save the clubs for next weekend.)

most of the time i would say like a 7. and thats ****ing good for me. i used to be some where on the 3-0 stage in high school. i got out. dropped my f@ggot friends from high school and i became like a 5. then i saw this website and started going out. now i am like a 7. 7.5

2. what do you think you can do to improve your self esteem rating?

i'm going to see a shrink. yep. i said it. once i get my shoot together IE. get more money than i am now. then i will work out my problems there. i've always wanted to go to one but i never maid it.

the funny thing is, i don't even really need one now. back in high school i was a mess. whats funny is my world wasn't as fook as it is now i don't think. it was high school. i was weak i guess.

 

[floydb25]

I have a fairly large ego - due to women wanting my balls on their face - but very low self-esteem. Its not a good combination. Theres been improvements since I moved out of hell. No *******s to insult me, bring me down, and hate on me for things they dont have, or arent. But some of that **** stays with you, and I'm pretty sensitive, and take a lot of things personally. But these people were straight up mean: hostile, aggressive, bullyish behavior. They'd attack and attack to belittle you into nothing. Then, as theyre still on the offensive, they'd claim to not be jealous or hating, and that youre just conceited - while STILL bringing you down, and hating everything you have (which they claimed to not want).

No one was positive or supportive. Just a bunch of fake, worthless, insecure, two-faced mother****ers who wanted to see you fail, and be there to gloat when you did. All while claiming to be better than you. Then coming to their own judgemental views about whatever situations you had. Meanwhile, they tried to hide their own insecurities - by attacking those who actually had **** going on. Bunch of ****ing losers. And they were all men. They didnt think anyone who wasnt them was attractive or worthy, so they came to the conclusion that you were ugly, and that everything you had sucked. But not until girls were approaching you, showing interest, etc. It was always set up in a superiority frame, so that they could be better than you. The amount of ego, competition, selfishness, etc was simply unreal. All by men who didnt have ****, so they poked through any weakness or insecurity they could find to destroy you. Revealing info to them was the worst thing, because they'd just use it against you.

Being in such a dysfunctional, hostile, negative, fake, dog eat dog environment for 30 years can destroy ones' self-esteem. Certainly did mine. Didnt even realize what was going on, or that there were better places and people out there. Still a lot of lingering hate and bitterness, but its improving.

Might post methods later.

 

[Flounder]

1. I'd give myself a 1.2, maybe 1.25

2. I'm doing the shrink thing. Kinda works I suppose. Doing the pills, too. And the healthy diet and exercise. And the yoga. And the going out with friends all the time and talking to girls I think are cute. And going to night school and getting A's. And getting better at my hobbies of drawing and playing guitar.

Haha it doesn't mean ****. All that matters is how much you think you're awesome.

 

[zekko]

Interesting topic.

Are we equating our self esteem with our perception of our own Sexual Market Value (SMV)? Because it sure sounds like it.

 

[Flounder]

No matter what your SMV is though, it's capped by your self-esteem. So if your SMV is otherwise a 9, but your self-esteem is a 4, your SMV is effectively a 4. That's obviously oversimplified, but it's a good rule of thumb.

If we want to be more accurate with this, I found a reasonable test, the Rosenberg self-esteem scale:
http://www.psymed.info/psymed/default.aspx?m=Test&id=70&l=3

It's scores out of 40 points, so if you want to convert it to a 10 point scale, you'll have to divide your answer by 4. I scored a 22, so on a 10 point scale, I have a 5.5. That sounds about right.

 

[backbreaker]

No matter what your SMV is though, it's capped by your self-esteem. So if your SMV is otherwise a 9, but your self-esteem is a 4, your SMV is effectively a 4. That's obviously oversimplified, but it's a good rule of thumb.

If we want to be more accurate with this, I found a reasonable test, the Rosenberg self-esteem scale:
http://www.psymed.info/psymed/default.aspx?m=Test&id=70&l=3

It's scores out of 40 points, so if you want to convert it to a 10 point scale, you'll have to divide your answer by 4. I scored a 22, so on a 10 point scale, I have a 5.5. That sounds about right.

wow, that's EXACTLY what i am trying to say. I'm not great with words but this is exactly what i a trying to say.

You're in essence capped by your self esteem rating beucase the only girls you can treat like they need to be treated, the only girls in which you can establish a normal working "frame" so to speak are girls who you rate equal or less than then you. So you can be a 8 but if you think you are a 5, you aren't going to great 6's or 7's like they shoudl be treated, so in essence your glass ceiling at that point is a HB5.

It's impossible to estalish a healthy frame with a girl who you honestly in your heart of hearts think is better than you.

so in short, being a catch is half the battle. The other half is (to me) believing that you are honestly worth what you are worth.


according to the test i have an 8.4 self esteem rating

 

[betheman]

6.25 , thats about fair

 

[BeDJ]

http://www.psymed.info/psymed/default.aspx?m=Test&id=70&l=3

According to the test, I have a higher self-esteem than backbreaker. I call bullsh!t

 

[Plutoman]

I'm a bit of an arrogant guy as of late, and that test would place me at an even 9. Mainly because I know I've screwed up a lot of stuff in the past, and while I've improved now it doesn't fix where I've left myself now. Other than that.. I do honestly believe I'm better than most other guys.

I keep thinking - I should feel bad about thinking that, I should be more humble, but then again, I really don't feel bad and I can't help but think it.

 

[zekko]

You're in essence capped by your self esteem rating beucase the only girls you can treat like they need to be treated, the only girls in which you can establish a normal working "frame" so to speak are girls who you rate equal or less than then you. So you can be a 8 but if you think you are a 5, you aren't going to great 6's or 7's like they shoudl be treated, so in essence your glass ceiling at that point is a HB5.

Yeah, that makes total sense. Although that's in the context of attracting women.

I still wonder about the extent to which self esteem is tied to Sexual Market Value, though. Can a guy have high self esteem, feel good about himself, but think that his Sexual Market Value is low? I would think so, but who knows?

I scored 7.5, by the way. Sounds about right. I tend to avoid extremes of thought, so it's unlikely that I would score very high or very low.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Got a 36 in the test, 9 on 10 point scale... pretty close lol

 

[Flounder]

Yup. People are always skeptical when people here rate themselves as an 8 or so in looks but it doesn't mean much if your a 5 in inner/outer game. If anything the looks are a detriment at that point because you won't be content with the 5s like an actual 5 would. You get a lot more frustrates, hence this forum.

I have this exact issue. I'm a 9 in looks, but a 3 or 4 in self-esteem, and it just makes a mess in the dating scene. I can't go for 3s or 4s because they think something is wrong, like I'm making fun of them or I'm super desperate, and I can't get the 8s or 9s because my confidence is off.

Hence, this forum.

To be fair, there are worse problems, so don't feel sorry for me. Self-esteem and confidence can be improved. Looks and height, ehh, not so much.

 

[Purefilth]

heh, 9.25

 

[zekko]

People are always skeptical when people here rate themselves as an 8 or so in looks

I'm extremely skeptical because I have a fairly strict scale. I don't believe in 10s at all, and I think 9s are very, very rare. Of all the women I've ever met, I can count on one hand the ones I would give out a 9 to. And women are generally more aesthetically pleasing than men.

Among men, I would think 9s are so rare as to be close to nonexistent. So yeah, I'm very skeptical when guys here claim to be 9s. I'm even skeptical of there being so many 8s, considering that this is supposedly a forum of guys bad with women.

 

[backbreaker]

I'm extremely skeptical because I have a fairly strict scale. I don't believe in 10s at all, and I think 9s are very, very rare. Of all the women I've ever met, I can count on one hand the ones I would give out a 9 to. And women are generally more aesthetically pleasing than men.

Among men, I would think 9s are so rare as to be close to nonexistent. So yeah, I'm very skeptical when guys here claim to be 9s. I'm even skeptical of there being so many 8s, considering that this is supposedly a forum of guys bad with women.

when i rate men, i.e myself as i don't look at other men like that, i go with the overall package, just like women do. pure looks wise i would rate myself a solid...8 including the gym, but i'm ripped.

the problem with most men's scales is they look at women and expect themt o be attracted to us, just like we are attracted to them and it does not work that way.

 

[Plutoman]

I'm extremely skeptical because I have a fairly strict scale. I don't believe in 10s at all, and I think 9s are very, very rare. Of all the women I've ever met, I can count on one hand the ones I would give out a 9 to. And women are generally more aesthetically pleasing than men.

Among men, I would think 9s are so rare as to be close to nonexistent. So yeah, I'm very skeptical when guys here claim to be 9s. I'm even skeptical of there being so many 8s, considering that this is supposedly a forum of guys bad with women.

A scale for men has to be judged by women, just as a scale for women is judged by men. Which gender is more aesthetically pleasing does not matter at all, as you yourself are not judging men on a literal scale - the only place you have is in judging the relative scale.

As far as women, it's a note that this is a forum of guys who want to attract good-looking women (at least, I'm guessing so), so it's natural that it revolves around the 7's and up.

That said, I'm sure people fudge numbers. I'd imagine guys are more likely to fudge the numbers on women they are with than their own looks, at least, in my personal thought process.

 

[betheman]

and when all is aid and done, womens self esteem is generally lower than mens, just need to factor this into the interactions

 

[Desdinova]

Fvck all of you, I'm a 10

you not feelng so good today BB?

Don't use sarcasm with bb. He'll take it as a personal attack.

 

[Purefilth]

That said, I'm sure people fudge numbers. I'd imagine guys are more likely to fudge the numbers on women they are with than their own looks, at least, in my personal thought process.

thats still their own scale.

If I rate some girl an 8, you could look at her and drop 1/1.5 off that because you find different things attractive in a woman and have your own scale.

The looks thing is obselete - yes it helps in the initial attraction, but a good looking guy will be NEXTed by a chick for being boring/chumpish -ok so we get away with more - but prettier girls get away with stuff too. Thats why theres so many questions here.

You think an ugly girl would get posted about? NO. ugly ones arent worth talking about (to most)

Therefore if someone here claims to need help with an 8/8.5/9, I'm inclined to believe that on their scale, she is indeed that rating

 

[Purefilth]

Addition- I think the rating is added to questions because some guys don't reslise that 1/10 or 23/10 all girls should be treated and ''gamed" the same way.

If anything else, its bragging (and true) or to add a sense of urgency to their question.