Rate the HB I failed miserably with.

[MM92]

She's not glamour model material, but she looks like one of those sweet girls that bring out the inner "nice guy" and AFC in most of us.

With the more obvious, busty, slvtty types, it's easy to treat them like sex objects and stay on top of our game, but it just doesn't feel right with girls like this and it's been a failing point for me many many times.

Absolutely this.

 

[MM92]

Yes, believe it or not, she has slept with a lot of guys (as I later found out). If I were to guess, it's 20-30+. Lots of one night stands. (I got access to her email one day...) That really shocked the hell out of me (and led to me becoming majorly insecure).

Wow definitely wouldn't have thought that just by looking at her. Just shows...

 

[Serg897]

Cute, but nothing special. You can go outside in most cities and find a girl just as a hot if not hotter than her within minutes. Dont worry about it, OP.

 

[floydb25]

Evan: The hardest part is realizing that its not you. You aren't the one who cheated on them. You didn't force them to cheat. This is all them, and their lack of character. There's no sense beating yourself down when they are the ones who *****d around behind your back. You aren't worthless. They are the ones with the problem.

I think the one in the wrong makes it seem like its the victim's fault. That's where the victim gets screwed up, and starts blaming themselves. You gotta just realize the facts - they are the bad people, here. You didn't force them to do anything. They are just trying to blame you for it. Even to the extent of criticizing you and putting you down - if they weren't jerks, they wouldn't be doing this. Again, not your fault. Bad people are bad people. Just gotta recognize their bull**** early on, and eliminate them.

 

[zekko]

It's pretty devastating knowing the girl you had oneitis for has banged 20 to 30 guys. That makes it so much worse. Hell, the girl I had oneitis for only banged maybe 4 or 5 guys? I don't even know. My point is, it's not a good feeling regardless.

I know what you mean, but it ought to make it easier. The girl was a dirty ho. She wasn't who you thought she was, or built her up to be in your mind. The girl you had oneitis for didn't exist. This is a valuable life lesson. For the future, make sure you verify who she really is, instead of imagining that she's who you're hoping she is.

As for the original question, I was thinking the same thing as Backbreaker, she's about a 6.5 or a 7.

 

[Down Low]

No better than 5. She looks about 30, has only average breasts, you said she lacks a curvy rear end, and cuts her hair above the shoulders to purposely defeminize / masculinize. That's a real give-away that she's not a keeper. A woman with only average body shouldn't be willfully diminishing her femininity.

Her sleeping with a lot of guys affected my confidence in the past (it doesn't now). However, I still miss the relationship (or probably just the sex/attachment/feelings). Whatever.

As for whether I'd be proud if my kids' mother banged 30 guys, I don't know. It's not something to be proud of, but is it something to be ashamed of either? Again, I don't know. In the past, I would have definitely been ashamed about it. But I am still in the Matrix, you know? The rational side of me says that if she has self-control and has no STDs, then maybe it isn't a problem?

I read somewhere that the rule of thumb is that someone will have picked up at least one STD if he or she has had sex with 10+ different people. Judging by the epidemic of shingles among the old, I'd say it's true. Get those vaccinations, men. Give yourself an annual break from sex for a few weeks, and take a course of antibiotics to clear up the bacterial and yeasty stuff in the urinary tract.

A lot of guys build these things up in their mind and try to analyze where they went wrong. The cold hard truth is the girl probably wasn't interested before you opened up your mouth. But as a defense mechanism, you tell yourself you said the wrong thing, or your posture wasn't correct, or you weren't C&F enough, etc. etc. It's your ego getting the best of you.

It's a lesson I've learned the hard way. Usually when it comes to women (in my experience), more times than not you didn't screw it up with your game. The girl flat out just didn't want to hook up. Maybe she had a close boyfriend. Maybe she was engaged, or a lesbian. And maybe she just thought you were a weirdo. It really doesn't matter.

The problem is NOT with the OP. He developed normal feelings for a woman and took the risk of getting hurt. We're all OK with that. He got hurt because she's easy. She puts out then moves on. She has a lifelong behavior pattern of "grass is greener" or whatever you'd call it. Be glad you didn't marry her. I'm 100% positive she became contemptuous of her husband, pretty much openly cheats on him, and he feels like a fool and a cuckold and can't hold his head up around the guys.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

I'd say she's an 8. The guy in the pic looks really dorky haha

 

[tomato]

It's not suprising. I know girls like this, and have experienced them in our own relationships as well. You absolutely cannot assume anything, or trust anyone, or be fooled by how they want to be perceived. Most everyone plays the good girl role. Guys as well. You have to keep your guard up and not give anyone the benefit of the doubt. Don't be fooled by appearances, behaviors, or words (ie, claims, lies, and excuses). Most people aren't as sweet and innocent as they WANT you to believe, and will try to put themselves in the best light possible. But, if you pay close attention - you can still see the cracks, and tell when something is amiss.

Don't trust or give your heart out too easily. Keep a close eye out at all times, and don't take anyone's side, or come to their defense (in the sense of making up excuses for them, telling yourself this can't be, etc). Everyone is capable of doing wrong, and being bad. Or even things like being selfish. They might try to mask it, and claim to be sweet and innocent, but the facts never lie. Avoiding the facts, assuming too much, and believing what everyone tells you is what gets a lot of people in trouble.

WOW this sounds SO familiar - I FELL FOR THIS! TOTALLY! in my LTR.

LOL its almost word for word she would say how innocent she was how she was practically a virgin because she'd only had sex with her ex a few times. Always acted like the fact I'd had more as some kind of big deal - she really played it SO well for years I bought into it. She used to go on and on about other girls doing slutty things being disgusting and made a big point almost daily of looking down on girls like "that" how she was more decent etc! - guess what she turned out to do the same things if not worse and didnt even feel any shame doing them - favorite quote "its ok to flirt with other people while in an LTR" - even though if so much as talked about work to a girl she'd FLIP lol!

There were cracks that I thought were odd though....she seemed pretty experienced around a condom was the first she liked it rough (I dont think girls start out like that) and she had this view of relationships not lasting forever as being totally natural and ok. There was a bunch of other stuff -revealing pics on fb etc (my friends were like "wow" whats she putting that up for while in an LTR I was like "hmm yeh I though it was odd, she just said it was normal")- I ignored it cause I bought the whole act and I got played! big time! NOT HAPPENING AGAIN! lol

 

[tomato]

Evan: The hardest part is realizing that its not you. You aren't the one who cheated on them. You didn't force them to cheat. This is all them, and their lack of character. There's no sense beating yourself down when they are the ones who *****d around behind your back. You aren't worthless. They are the ones with the problem.

I think the one in the wrong makes it seem like its the victim's fault. That's where the victim gets screwed up, and starts blaming themselves. You gotta just realize the facts - they are the bad people, here. You didn't force them to do anything. They are just trying to blame you for it. Even to the extent of criticizing you and putting you down - if they weren't jerks, they wouldn't be doing this. Again, not your fault. Bad people are bad people. Just gotta recognize their bull**** early on, and eliminate them.

I'm only just realising this - she always manages to make herself feel fine by making what she did my fault - I didnt give her enough attention - I worked too much etc - its my fault what she did she's innocent and pure and was just responding to a heartless a-hole

 

[zekko]

I read somewhere that the rule of thumb is that someone will have picked up at least one STD if he or she has had sex with 10+ different people. Judging by the epidemic of shingles among the old, I'd say it's true.

Is this a joke? Shingles has nothing to do with STDs, even though it's called herpes zoster. It's caused by a reactivation of the virus that causes chicken pox.

 

[yougottaknow90]

Photos been taken down. Damn, was curious what some of you dudes consider a 6, 7, 8, etc.