"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Rate of success for online dating

knglerxt

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For those of you who have tried online dating, how many girls did you actually meet in real life? I've had a profile on Yahoo Personals for awhile now and have yet to meet any girls. Here is a link to my profile if you want to check it out: http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/profile

I've contacted at least 20 or 30 girls, yet they never respond. I mean I'm not an ugly guy by any means. I just don't get it.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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On Point

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Online dating will drive you crazy and is a big waste of time. I did it for years, and got some GFs from it, but trust me, skip it.

You'll end up playing all sorts of games for weeks to get a date and figure out in two minutes you don't like the woman. Most of the women resorting to online dating aren't the type you'd want anyways. And you'll spend weeks accomplishing what you could in about 20 minutes of reality.

Unless you're really good looking and getting all sorts of attention without doing much work, it just isn't worth it.
 

knglerxt

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I'm beginning to think a lot of the really hot girls' profiles on those dating sites are fake. Think about it: If you contact a good amount of girls—just by the Law of Averages—you should at least get a response from a few of them. They have pre-written messages that say you're not interested, so not being interested in someone is no excuse not to respond. Add to that the fact that people notoriously stretch the truth online. It just doesn't make any sense.

It reminds me of that new country song by Brad Paisly, Online. He talks about how people lie about their lives online.
 

Bonhomme

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Unless you're really good looking and getting all sorts of attention without doing much work, it just isn't worth it.
On Point is ... ahem ... on point. The best thing to do if you have a decent pic and profile is just sit back and let 'em write you. Then the dynamic is in your favor straight away.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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If you understand the medium, understand what you are looking for in a woman, understand who you are how to communicate and qualify, you shouldn't have a problem unless your particular geographic area doesn't have the type of women you are looking for. Worse case scenario is that you'll have to expand your search.

In a nutshell, if you go at it half @ssed, you'll get as much out of it.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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speakeasy

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It works well for some people, and not so well for others and I couldn't really tell you why. There was a study I read that the majority of guys that sign up to an online dating site don't get even a single response from a woman. Plus the guy/girl ratio is completely out of whack. The one advantage is most the guys there are desperate AFCs flooding the girls with emails worshipping them. If you're on top of your game, and know how to make yourself stand out, you might do okay.
 

Jariel

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Many of these girls are in it for the attention. They start out feeling a bit insecure, put up a profile, then start receiving masses of ass-kissing mails and it goes to their head. All of a sudden, they think they have all these options and start getting arrogant.

A few times now I've had hot women contact me via myspace or similar, asking if I want to chat. They looked great and seemed cool at first, but they'd start playing games, talk about how popular they are and how guys kiss their ass, and so on. They were just cyber attention wh0res.

Even girls I've met offline have had online profiles and cyber egos and it turns out they're playing men against each other, flirting, playing power games.

Regardless of whether it's online or offline, attention wh0res are just a waste of time and energy. Don't give them the time of day.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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speakeasy said:
...Plus the guy/girl ratio is completely out of whack.
It's been close to equal (51% men, 49% women) for a few years now.
speakeasy said:
...
The one advantage is most the guys there are desperate AFCs flooding the girls with emails worshipping them. If you're on top of your game, and know how to make yourself stand out, you might do okay.
Might? I have women giving me complements because I can write in complete sentences. I don't know about women who are teenie-boppers but with grown women a guy who can convey a concise thought is looked upon as a needle in a haystack.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Jariel said:
Many of these girls are in it for the attention. They start out feeling a bit insecure, put up a profile, then start receiving masses of ass-kissing mails and it goes to their head. All of a sudden, they think they have all these options and start getting arrogant.....
That's the purpose of sites like MySpace and Facebook. They are sites for social promotion, not actually for meeting people for possible dating. The goal of those sites is to get as many friends as possible for social proof.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

speakeasy

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
It's been close to equal (51% men, 49% women) for a few years now.
Where did you hear that? I've found it to be about 3:1 myself. I found that out by typing in search words that are gender-neutral and seeing how many hits were brought up. If I type in "beach", anyone that mentioned being interested in the beach in my search city would be brought up. Obviously you can't use a word like "UFC" or "football" because that's biased towards guys. Whenever I typed in a completely neutral word like "bar" or "sushi" or "travel", 3 times as many guys would come up as girls using that same hit word. That was on match.com maybe 2 years ago. Unless it's changed all of a sudden.
 

Yapper

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It's nowhere close to equal in my exp. Unless maybe you're talking about sites like myspace and facebook. Actual dating sites like plentyoffish and the craigs personals have way more guys.
 

sexybeast

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speakeasy said:
It works well for some people, and not so well for others and I couldn't really tell you why.
This must be true.... I find meeting girls online really easy I could probably go online now find a girl and meet her in a day or two. Other guys swear blind its a waste of time.

Best advice I can give is give it ago see if it works for you or not.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Yapper said:
It's nowhere close to equal in my exp. Unless maybe you're talking about sites like myspace and facebook. Actual dating sites like plentyoffish and the craigs personals have way more guys.
Most guys are notoriously cheap and seek out free sites. These same guys usually have no online game so the free sites are their most viable option (in their minds).

People who want relationships (mostly women) will pay for an account on a fee based site. They generally feel that the guys on pay sites are more serious and less cheap. With either medium, you typically get out of it whatever you put into it.
 

azanon

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knglerxt said:
For those of you who have tried online dating, how many girls did you actually meet in real life? I've had a profile on Yahoo Personals for awhile now and have yet to meet any girls. Here is a link to my profile if you want to check it out: http://dating.personals.yahoo.com/profile

I've contacted at least 20 or 30 girls, yet they never respond. I mean I'm not an ugly guy by any means. I just don't get it.
I don't see it mentioned yet by someone else, so let me; That doesn't link to your profile.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

sexybeast

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Most guys are notoriously cheap and seek out free sites. These same guys usually have no online game so the free sites are their most viable option (in their minds).
Cheeky git lol I never go on pay sites, still pull. I am a cheap skate tho.:p
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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sexybeast said:
Cheeky git lol I never go on pay sites, still pull. I am a cheap skate tho.:p
But you aren't looking for relationships are you? I won't deny that one can easily find quick hook-ups from free sites.
 

Paintballguy

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I have discovered that online dating does not work so well. I've only f-closed one chick in my online dating career. Most times the chicks are ugly and hide their flaws in the pictures. Also, it seems as though all the really hot chicks don't need to use the internet to find guys. So IMO, interent dating is pretty pointless. Its good to support your main method of sarging but not good as a primary.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Paintballguy said:
I have discovered that online dating does not work so well. I've only f-closed one chick in my online dating career. Most times the chicks are ugly and hide their flaws in the pictures. Also, it seems as though all the really hot chicks don't need to use the internet to find guys. So IMO, interent dating is pretty pointless. Its good to support your main method of sarging but not good as a primary.
I just sent off a "Dear Jane" letter to a woman who contacted me online because she lived out of state, I'm not into LDRs. Come to find out that she travels here almost every weekend and is looking to buy a house here. We're meeting for coffee sometime in the next couple of weeks to talk. Is she hot? She's a solid 8 but that could change if I find out that her personality is lacking when in person.

The fact is that the hot ones who aren't just looking for attention are searching online to bypass the AFCs and badboys who approach them regularly. If you can't find what you're looking for online you're probably using the wrong bait.
 
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