rape victim --- psychology help!

[CaliGuyInLondon]

I was wondering if anyone in here has a psychology background or has read any psychology on women who were raped. this girl ive beeen working on told me a while back that she had been raped, she was surprisingly chill about it all, said it made her stronger and all that, b ut i kinda just wanted to know how to deal with it.

ive heard that women who were abused sometimes can only respect men who abuse them and wondered if anything was similar with rape victims, not meaning they need to be raped, but wondering i should be more forceful and less passive or something.

she has told me several times that "she likes forward", so i don't know if thats a cue that I should just grab her and start making out with her or what. any help here would be appreciated, as im supposed to hangout with her this weekend. thanks

 

[thedarkpassenger]

I know you may like her a lot, and want to be with her, but save yourself from getting hurt. As harsh as it sounds, I would approach with caution or move away. I've been in this exact same situation two times, both ending in horrid results. She may be damaged and have issues she needs to work out, and she may take them out on you. If you like her, go for it, but be very careful!

 

[Jitterbug]

Unless you're her childhood best friend, brother or boyfriend, she shouldn't be telling you that she was raped. If she told you that while you were just hanging out, BEWARE. Think about it: what kind of girl would tell such intimate, personal story to a guy she doesn't really know?

In most cases, those rape stories are *made up* to elicit sympathy and gain more attention, and on occasions, to fvck with your head just for the hell of it.

Many guys here have dealt with those girls, myself included. Trust me, it's a red flag.

 

[02hero]

This ^

 

[brokenupinside]

I was wondering if anyone in here has a psychology background or has read any psychology on women who were raped. this girl ive beeen working on told me a while back that she had been raped, she was surprisingly chill about it all, said it made her stronger and all that, b ut i kinda just wanted to know how to deal with it.

ive heard that women who were abused sometimes can only respect men who abuse them and wondered if anything was similar with rape victims, not meaning they need to be raped, but wondering i should be more forceful and less passive or something.

she has told me several times that "she likes forward", so i don't know if thats a cue that I should just grab her and start making out with her or what. any help here would be appreciated, as im supposed to hangout with her this weekend. thanks

RED FLAGS:

Tells you she was raped and doesn't really know you well.
Was raped and likes forward men.
Already has you thinking "just to grab her and start making out"

Do you want to be the next guy she accuses of rape?
I say walk slowly backwards untill she's out of sight.

 

[Igetit!]

RED FLAGS:

Tells you she was raped and doesn't really know you well.
Was raped and likes forward men.
Already has you thinking "just to grab her and start making out"

Do you want to be the next guy she accuses of rape?
I say walk slowly backwards untill she's out of sight.

+1 rep. Brokenupinside.


Best thing to do would be to high tail it out of there.

I don't understand why the OP is asking for "psychological" help with this girl.

What does he think he's going to do,"Dr. Phil" her into bed? :crackup:



Him becoming her therapist won't get him any closer to dating her. In fact,it'll ensure he won't date her...ever.

 

[KontrollerX]

"i kinda just wanted to know how to deal with it."

With all the resources and knowledge this site provides you guys with why do you still chase after the fvckups?

Get a hot chick without this kind of baggage for christsakes.

You shouldn't be learning how to deal with it or help her deal with it.

Its not your problem.

Find someone else that hasn't been victimized and is as mentally healthy as a woman can get.

If you take the sympish morality crew mindset that these types of chicks need love too blah blah blah you'll just set yourself up to get fvcked over and waste all your energy on a dead end.

Take the smart DJ route and eject from any chick laying this kind of heavy baggage on you even if she acts cool about it upfront.

Again its simply not smart or worthwhile to proceed with such a chick.

Some symp might point out an instance of where this sort of thing has worked out but then I'd just say that there has been a guy that survived a fall off a 40 something story building but does that mean everyone will if they go and try it?

Hell no because thats a stupid thing to do purposefully as proceeding with a rape victim also is.

Don't do this.

Jitterbug A+ post.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Like Kenny Rogers said, "Know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em".

When I see the Victim card, it's usually time to fold 'em.

 

[Cinamon]

Like someone else mentioned it depends how close you were before she told you she was raped. I was molested as a child and only ever have told two people I know about this, one of them being my ex, but it was about 2 years into our relationship.

I think it's true, most women that have been abused like to be dominated and controlled between the sheets.

I once read somewhere that 1 in every 8 people is sexually abused, keeping that in mind, and then eliminating the women that ur not into for looks, personality etc... The options remaining are very thin. Some rape victims receive counsellin and can move on to live fairly normal lives.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

I have to agree with Kontroller.

No disrespect to this chick, but this looks like a situation with unnecessary headaches. These were the types of girls I used to actively seek out during my Captain Save-a-Ho days. I don't even want to begin to describe the kind of crap I went through with them.

I also once knew a girl that used to tell people within the first 5 minutes of meeting them that she had been raped. After a relationship went sour, she would try to accuse my friends who had dated her of raping her as well. Beware.

 

[WaterTiger]

I'm agreeing with Jitterbug & Brokenupinside. If she's spilling her guts like this so soon, then it's a bit for sympathy and to manipulate you.:nono:

Most rape victims that I've met DO NOT like talking about it, and dislike being touched by men in general.

This girl sounds like it was a "drunken OOPS!" kind of situation. Where she got totally drunk, slept with the ugliest guy in the bar and woke up the next morning next to Quasimoto and screamed that he MUST have forced the issue because no way she'd sleep with THAT willingly.

She sounds like trouble...NEXT!

 

[King_Supreme]

red flag. on 2 the next one. girls who have been raped tend to end up being sluts. its actually been studies on this but i noticed it b4 i knew anything about psychology. although its not her fault its too much baggage.