K
Klubbhead
Guest
Hi! I just spend the last few days reading about every little piece of information on this site, a time consuming though very rewarding business, and while I was overloading my brain with all this info I just felt the urge growing stronger and stronger to contribute my own ideas to this impressive collection, so here goes… but maybe a little introduction is appropriate.
I’m a 19-year old scholar from Europe, so if my grammar and sentences are a bit weird at times it’s because English isn’t my first language. I’m not an outstanding performer but I don’t have any real difficulties with picking up girls/getting numbers/dates… my problems generally start when things are ‘’going steady’’, and after all I‘ve read here those problems are best described as typical ‘’nice guy’’ problems. I came upon this website because I was looking for some specific advice on this problem, me having met this very special girl and not wanting to screw up this time…
That was the little background on me… now let’s get started! In no particular order whatsoever, just what came to mind first…
>The advice here can be split into two parts: How to get a woman and How to keep a woman (both short and long term) but I find it that those two kinds of advice often get mixed up, making things even more difficult. For example: Don’t call too long. To get her, well, Yes.. to keep her, No. But I shouldn’t be giving advice on how to keep a woman..
>Most things said about women here concern women that are the female versions of the Don Juan; assertive, confident women who know the Game. Like with us guys, most women are NOT like this… although considerably more when compared to men. In my opinion, it isn’t to hard out there, as long as you don’t go for the 9’s and 10’s. Those are the women for whom you will need every trick you can find here, and more. (But unfortunately most men, like me, are primarily attracted to that class of the female specimen.) This leads me to one of my main arguments: Be realistic in what you aim for. There is nothing wrong with trying and getting rejected, but constantly reaching to high is, well, pathetic. For most of us, getting anywhere near a 10 will remain a dream forever. It is fun to try though, and trying the impossible will sometimes yield unexpected results. But knowing when you’re in over your head (for now, at least) can save, effort and unnessacary humiliation, time better spent on chatting with that cute 8 in the corner everyone seemed to overlook.
>Looks aren’t important… until you reach the critical zone. Women want a man they can show off to their friends and the world in general, not something they’d rather hide in the basement. Likewise, I don’t mind if the girl is not beautiful… I do mind however if the girl is ugly. Call me shallow, but the eye wants something too. This relates to the core reason of a relationship; sex. No one wants to have sex with someone they find physically unattractive. However most men AND WOMEN would have sex with someone who looked good but had nothing interesting to say. When a relationship develops other things become important too, but when you initially approach someone and are repelled of the thought of engaging in sexual activities with that person (be it now or somewhere in the distant future) what’s the point of even starting the relationship at all? If you are the one with the very unattractive physique it will inevitably lead to a Let’s Just Be Friends. There are notable exceptions to this ‘’rule’’ though, especially when women get older. Bottom line: if you look quite horrible (say anywhere between 1-4) it’s not the end of the world, but learn to live with the fact that you are at a handicap and work hard to compensate.
>Like I mentioned before, sex is the core reason for all relationships. I mean, what other reasons are there for two (or more) people to be more than just friends? The only thing that isn’t allowed as friends is sex. Deep emotional bonds are possible when being just platonic friends. You could (theoretically) even spend your life with a soulmate while seeking sexual fulfilment elsewhere. It is because of sexual attraction that people become couples, not because of mutual interests or sense of humour. In that case, you just become friends.
>There are other reasons for relationships, such as abundance of Power and/or Money, however they don’t make for healthy relationships. Neither does Lust/Sex, so here I contradict myself, though one could say that power, money, mutual interests/humour and nice physique/good sex are only components that determine (sexual, I have no better word for it) attraction. Let’s just say that if the attraction is mainly based on one of those components, something’s not right.
>Like many others already said, the rules/tricks on this site should only be used as a starting point; eventually we will all have to learn to everything naturally. When dating/flirting with someone I always try to think as less as possible… I’d rather make some mistakes than working with a set script. Girls like it when you act relaxed and natural, but to much not-thinking leads to pushy behaviour, something girls don’t like. I just find it that when things are going nice everything just comes naturally, and the more I think and plan the less things go the way I want. Also, when you think about what you do, most of the time you are raising your hopes higher than appropriate, and thus easier disappointed/more desperate.
>On the subject of calling, although I agree with the two/five day wait thing, I don’t see why you should keep your phone conversations under 10 minutes, or even 5. As long as you don’t say anything important and give out to much info, the longer the call the more chances you have of learning more about the other. Not that you should call for hours day after day (because 1.eventually you’ll start to blurt out all kinds of info about yourself and 2.you’ll fall in the Friendship zone quicker) but anything between 30-75 minutes seems reasonable to me, if the occasion is right. Don’t forget to hang up before the conversation begins to drag on though. I don’t have any trouble with making conversation on the phone, and one of my best relationships came from a 4 hour long call, but not everybody may like it.
>Humour is also a way to make you stand out from the crowd. For me humour is my main weapon. I’m not exceptionally beautiful, not very tall and I don’t have a wicked smile, but I can crack jokes with the best of them. The thing I use the most however is careful teasing and insulting; most women love it. The great thing is that if you get going, you can also cover up little mistakes and the like with it. Secondly, it keeps the other wondering.. she knows that you’re not serious, but still… she needs to keep trying to earn your compliments. You’re also setting yourself apart from the rest… you’re not overloading her with compliments and sweet nothings, instead you insult her! This kind of humour also allows you to take yourself a little less serious.. like, when you screw something up (not TOO badly) you can just say, ‘’hey, now that wasn’t too much of a success, was it?’’, instead of feeling embarrassed or even apologising. It’s important to build things up a bit, and being able to react quickly, but it pays off well. Be careful not to be the jokester all the time, or to make jokes that involve humiliating yourself, how funny it may be. This will only degrade you from love-interest to Funny Friend sooner than you think. I find an unusual use of humour one of the best ways to make yourself stand out and loose the tension and create a ‘’we and them’’ feeling between you and your date. Especially if you manage to get ‘’running gags’’ going that only you two understand. That is also why I like phonecalls; they leave a lot of space for all kinds of (cruel)
pranks and I can manage to have a good time on the phone for a few hours basically talking about nothing… and while wondering why I’m so damn funny the other often slips some useful info.
>The danger of sites full of info like this I that people get so involved with the theories that they forget the practise. You can get far knowing nothing about theories at all, but you get nowhere without the practise. I thought of this when I read a post asking if keen knowledge of porn was a step up to becoming a good lover.. seeing it and doing it are two very very different things, especially when concerning anything that has to do with women.
Well that’s it for now, I hope I made some sense… And I’d like to thank Pook for his brilliant post about ********… way to go!!!
Greetingzz
I’m a 19-year old scholar from Europe, so if my grammar and sentences are a bit weird at times it’s because English isn’t my first language. I’m not an outstanding performer but I don’t have any real difficulties with picking up girls/getting numbers/dates… my problems generally start when things are ‘’going steady’’, and after all I‘ve read here those problems are best described as typical ‘’nice guy’’ problems. I came upon this website because I was looking for some specific advice on this problem, me having met this very special girl and not wanting to screw up this time…
That was the little background on me… now let’s get started! In no particular order whatsoever, just what came to mind first…
>The advice here can be split into two parts: How to get a woman and How to keep a woman (both short and long term) but I find it that those two kinds of advice often get mixed up, making things even more difficult. For example: Don’t call too long. To get her, well, Yes.. to keep her, No. But I shouldn’t be giving advice on how to keep a woman..
>Most things said about women here concern women that are the female versions of the Don Juan; assertive, confident women who know the Game. Like with us guys, most women are NOT like this… although considerably more when compared to men. In my opinion, it isn’t to hard out there, as long as you don’t go for the 9’s and 10’s. Those are the women for whom you will need every trick you can find here, and more. (But unfortunately most men, like me, are primarily attracted to that class of the female specimen.) This leads me to one of my main arguments: Be realistic in what you aim for. There is nothing wrong with trying and getting rejected, but constantly reaching to high is, well, pathetic. For most of us, getting anywhere near a 10 will remain a dream forever. It is fun to try though, and trying the impossible will sometimes yield unexpected results. But knowing when you’re in over your head (for now, at least) can save, effort and unnessacary humiliation, time better spent on chatting with that cute 8 in the corner everyone seemed to overlook.
>Looks aren’t important… until you reach the critical zone. Women want a man they can show off to their friends and the world in general, not something they’d rather hide in the basement. Likewise, I don’t mind if the girl is not beautiful… I do mind however if the girl is ugly. Call me shallow, but the eye wants something too. This relates to the core reason of a relationship; sex. No one wants to have sex with someone they find physically unattractive. However most men AND WOMEN would have sex with someone who looked good but had nothing interesting to say. When a relationship develops other things become important too, but when you initially approach someone and are repelled of the thought of engaging in sexual activities with that person (be it now or somewhere in the distant future) what’s the point of even starting the relationship at all? If you are the one with the very unattractive physique it will inevitably lead to a Let’s Just Be Friends. There are notable exceptions to this ‘’rule’’ though, especially when women get older. Bottom line: if you look quite horrible (say anywhere between 1-4) it’s not the end of the world, but learn to live with the fact that you are at a handicap and work hard to compensate.
>Like I mentioned before, sex is the core reason for all relationships. I mean, what other reasons are there for two (or more) people to be more than just friends? The only thing that isn’t allowed as friends is sex. Deep emotional bonds are possible when being just platonic friends. You could (theoretically) even spend your life with a soulmate while seeking sexual fulfilment elsewhere. It is because of sexual attraction that people become couples, not because of mutual interests or sense of humour. In that case, you just become friends.
>There are other reasons for relationships, such as abundance of Power and/or Money, however they don’t make for healthy relationships. Neither does Lust/Sex, so here I contradict myself, though one could say that power, money, mutual interests/humour and nice physique/good sex are only components that determine (sexual, I have no better word for it) attraction. Let’s just say that if the attraction is mainly based on one of those components, something’s not right.
>Like many others already said, the rules/tricks on this site should only be used as a starting point; eventually we will all have to learn to everything naturally. When dating/flirting with someone I always try to think as less as possible… I’d rather make some mistakes than working with a set script. Girls like it when you act relaxed and natural, but to much not-thinking leads to pushy behaviour, something girls don’t like. I just find it that when things are going nice everything just comes naturally, and the more I think and plan the less things go the way I want. Also, when you think about what you do, most of the time you are raising your hopes higher than appropriate, and thus easier disappointed/more desperate.
>On the subject of calling, although I agree with the two/five day wait thing, I don’t see why you should keep your phone conversations under 10 minutes, or even 5. As long as you don’t say anything important and give out to much info, the longer the call the more chances you have of learning more about the other. Not that you should call for hours day after day (because 1.eventually you’ll start to blurt out all kinds of info about yourself and 2.you’ll fall in the Friendship zone quicker) but anything between 30-75 minutes seems reasonable to me, if the occasion is right. Don’t forget to hang up before the conversation begins to drag on though. I don’t have any trouble with making conversation on the phone, and one of my best relationships came from a 4 hour long call, but not everybody may like it.
>Humour is also a way to make you stand out from the crowd. For me humour is my main weapon. I’m not exceptionally beautiful, not very tall and I don’t have a wicked smile, but I can crack jokes with the best of them. The thing I use the most however is careful teasing and insulting; most women love it. The great thing is that if you get going, you can also cover up little mistakes and the like with it. Secondly, it keeps the other wondering.. she knows that you’re not serious, but still… she needs to keep trying to earn your compliments. You’re also setting yourself apart from the rest… you’re not overloading her with compliments and sweet nothings, instead you insult her! This kind of humour also allows you to take yourself a little less serious.. like, when you screw something up (not TOO badly) you can just say, ‘’hey, now that wasn’t too much of a success, was it?’’, instead of feeling embarrassed or even apologising. It’s important to build things up a bit, and being able to react quickly, but it pays off well. Be careful not to be the jokester all the time, or to make jokes that involve humiliating yourself, how funny it may be. This will only degrade you from love-interest to Funny Friend sooner than you think. I find an unusual use of humour one of the best ways to make yourself stand out and loose the tension and create a ‘’we and them’’ feeling between you and your date. Especially if you manage to get ‘’running gags’’ going that only you two understand. That is also why I like phonecalls; they leave a lot of space for all kinds of (cruel)
pranks and I can manage to have a good time on the phone for a few hours basically talking about nothing… and while wondering why I’m so damn funny the other often slips some useful info.
>The danger of sites full of info like this I that people get so involved with the theories that they forget the practise. You can get far knowing nothing about theories at all, but you get nowhere without the practise. I thought of this when I read a post asking if keen knowledge of porn was a step up to becoming a good lover.. seeing it and doing it are two very very different things, especially when concerning anything that has to do with women.
Well that’s it for now, I hope I made some sense… And I’d like to thank Pook for his brilliant post about ********… way to go!!!
Greetingzz
