DISCLAIMER. These are my own thoughts and ramblings.
Recently i've noticed alot of threads asking stuff like
- "what do i do to raise my confidence?"
- "I can't approach, What techniques do you guys use?"
- "GUYS I need ADVICE!!!11!!ONE"
- "GF said/did this, how should i respond?"
- "Got this txt, what should i say?"
- "Should i call? txt? carrier pigeon? and how often?
- "She did ___, I did ____, now what do i do?"
- "FR: Girl looked at me, She so wanted the c0ck"
These are all asking about how we do the things we do naturally. And the answer really is to make them habits, but there isn't a magic pill or program to do that. It takes alot of self-commitment and desire to change.
In the 2+ years i've been improving myself (both outer and inner game, more emphasis on inner) I've since understood that these things are very incidental and should naturally become things that happen almost without conscious thought.
For petes sake, Alot of these questions are in the INTRODUCTION/NEWBIES section of the bible! They might not cover specific events/people but they're a hell of a great place to start! And the rest of the bible is gold as well! READ IT!
This is in no way saying that if you have a question and the Bible hasn't answered it to your satisfaction, you shouldn't post a question. DO IT! You need elaboration and that's what we're here for, to help each other.
Now as an example of what i do when i go out regularly for those who want specifics.
Today i went out with my dad to get some stuff and celebrate my getting my gas technicians license, Not looking for women at all. We ended up talking to several women along our path just cuz it's either us talking to each other about things we both know already, or starting a conversation with someone we don't know and getting a kick out of it.
we talked to a pair of HB7s at red lobster and got their numbers+facebook (my dad kinda gave me a look when i asked for it) and we also talked to several people in the mall we went to, no closes, but some funny conversations.
This one exchange wasn't really memorable to me, but seeing the kinds of questions being asked recently, i feel it might show some details.
We went to hardware store to buy home security stuff (locks, chains etc). i get to the register with my pops, and we start chatting to the cashier. I used to work at this store and i left right about the time she started working. So the extent of our knowledge of each other is "Hi! Bye!" though i wouldn't mind getting to know her better.
I'm dressed up a bit, dark denims, steel toe dress shoes, nice hairstyle, and a shiny blue dress shirt with my headset attached. + my leather jacket. The thing is, this is how a normally dress, a habit i've picked up and am happy with.
She gives me eye contact (Recognizing me) and i smile back. She smiles and tilts her head a bit. She's damned sexy, 8.5 at the least. The guys i still talk to there bust their nuts trying to get her. Our conversation went like this.
HB: Hey! how you guys doing? is that it?
Dad: We're good, too much work.
HB: Yeah so true.
me: yeah this is it. Unless you want to add something. I'd have to inspect and approve it though.
HB: *laughs* ok
Dad: Hey! Just cuz you aren't paying for this...*winks and chortles*
Me: Exactly
HB chuckles as she starts scanning items, i help her with the heavy 30 lbs chain we're buying. She says thanks and takes it from me, our hands touch, neither of us says anything, but she kinda pulled back a bit. This i did consciously notice. Kino is really the only thing i'll make effort to analyse.
Me and my dad converse in spanish, we're talking about the house as she's scanning.
HB: you guys are spanish?
Dad: Yes, and you?
HB: No Portuguese, cousins! where you guys from?
Me: Well if you ask him he'll say it depends on what day of the week it is. (actually true, my dad is pretty funny) And me? Where do you think i'm from?
HB: *Laughs again* I dunno... Argentina?
Me: Really? What makes you say that?
HB: *Finishes scanning* I dunno... Why? am i right?
Dad: *Leans in and whispers* He's actually from Mars!
HB
laughs alot as i give her a thumbs up and wink) Ok no really. Where are you from?Me: I was born in Costa Rica, but he's from Nicaragua... today anyway.
My dad hands over his credit card, she's talking about an argentinan friend of hers, just random small talk, nothing i really care about, once he finishes paying though...
me: So taking a look at this stuff, what do you think we're doing?
Hb: oh... well... looks like you're locking something up.
Dad: Now you have to guess what!
Hb: *laughs again* you guys are hilarious.
Me: Wait, you also get a prize if you get it! But you only get 2 guesses (no way in hell would she ever get that we're chaining up our snowblower.)
HB: Prize? What is it?
Me: It's a surprise. Come on! take a guess.
HB: *Thinks* a garage?
Me: Nope, one more guess!
HB: *chuckles* oh no... Ummm... a motorcycle?
Me: Nope, but close enough for a door prize!
Hb: Ok, what do i get?
Me: I gotta run but next time i'm here we'll go and get a coffee, my treat.
Hb: Really? when will that be?
Me: Beats me, just be ready.
HB: *laughs again* Alright! sounds like fun. Take care guys! i'll see you later!
She smiles at us and gives me that tilting head look. i touch the back of her shoulder as i say bye and walk away. She doesn't resist and even puts her hand on top of mine.
And with that we eject.
As we're leaving the store, i run into another chick. HB5-6. A bit of a fattie but she's very friendly.
I ask her the same question about what we're doing and pretty much repeat the conversation with a few differences.
Finally, we leave. And that's it.
Now i was thinking about that on the car ride home. To me, during that whole conversation i wasn't conciously trying to pull serious game there, but i've got an impromptu coffee date with her at an unknown point. As well as the fattie but i was friends with her from the get go anyway.
I don't know her very well so i might stop in there next week and fulfill my promise. But i've got other chicks i'm consciously gaming at this moment so this would be more stress relief than anything else. (unless it goes great in which case, she's got my attention.)
The point is, i didn't consciously use any "technique" or seek anything serious with her, it's gotten to the point where my personality and natural conversational skills are geared towards DJism.
And i didn't analyse anything we said, how we said it, blah blah blah(at least till i sat down at my computer) , All that i left there with was the knowledge that she's waiting for me to show up one day and go get coffee at a nearby cafe.
If you ask my dad, he'd probably say "What are you talking about? That was just a conversation." I actually explained to him the PUA community as i saw it and he said "Really? That's just how you're supposed to live normally." regarding DJ's.
My body language was my natural now too. Another habit i worked on. Standing up straight, my head raised, and "talking with my head movements" as my friend say.
She started off a little shy, but by the end she was completely comfortable, and having fun.
This is what i think is the best way to live. Not having the stress of "What do i say if such and such girl says this? but whosit girl does this in reaction?"
But the biggest thing that has helped me. The one thing that i can honestly say has kept my head from exploding in a comical cartoonish way, is
I STOPPED ANALYSING EVERY LITTLE DETAIL
and did what i felt was right. My instincts usually lead me in the right direction and if i feel doubt, i'll take 5 minutes, that's it. 5 minutes to step outside my shoes and look at the situation logically with no emotion.
By far this has kept me from making emotional mistakes (like oneitis and AFC moves) and kept my hair it's natural dark brown (at 18, stress was very high and i started getting gray hairs, Not cool)
Again i reiterate. I Am Not A Guru. I still have problems cold approaching on my own(don't do it often enough to get good practice), my night game is getting better but there are still many out there who are better, and my unfortunate natural assholishness hinders me more than i'd like.
But i'm working on it, i'm cold approaching more often, going to parties and staying sober (some of you will remember my drunken screams of ALPHA!) and i'm trying to keep from being assholish in my speech and actions (No more dropping pennies in people's shirts/pants)
IMO, the most effective cure to this sort of problems i'm seeing nowadays is to think logically, figure out your weaknesses, realise where that weakness is coming from, and work on it dilligently until it's a habit.
Some of you might agree with me, Some of you won't. But this is what i'm doing and i'm finding success at a rate that i'm happy with, and my life is only getting better and better. And in the end, that's what's made me happier.
Though pu$$y is always nice
