rafc needs help please fellas

[Goofball]

Noob needs help please fellas

This is a long one buds, so pull up a chair...
Basically, I'm new here, so ill introduce myself. My name is Callum Henderson and i live in Bangkok. I got to school (now a senior) and I guess I'm one of the 'popular' people. But I'm falling head over heels for a girl who is in a totally different world to me.
Well, since I... 'discovered' her on a school trip (camping), I got really close to her and felt a spark. Since then I helped her climb up a mountain (litterally) amongst other things. At that time, she was going out with one of my best friends. They've broken up now and she's single. She broke up with him because he was being too possesive and moody and generally neglecting her.
Anyway, since they broke up, I've really moved in and I felt we were getting really close. Weeks passed... Until disaster struck a few days ago. Her best friend, whos a close friend of mine, told me not to get my hopes up too high on the girl (we aren't dating.) I thought this was weird, so i asked the girl about it, and she said that she has no feeelings for me...
I was really upset, and she said i was acting possesive when i was around her even though we weren't even going out and i reminded her of the hurt she felt when she broke up with my best friend. She said she just wants some 'single time', but i made her promise that she would at least give me a chance next school year (summer holidays now.) I also promised her that I've changed and that I'm no longer like that (I'm turning over a new leaf as they say.) She seemed to beleive me >.<
Thats the short story. Theres alot more but its kinda repeitive...
SUMMARY:
Boy meets girl
Boy likes girl
Boy messes up, girl doesnt like him back

What do i do?? Share your expertise with me!!
(if u need anymore info. just ask... This girl means SOO much to me and I dont want to lose her...)

 

[Goofball]

aite, thanks man. Appreciate it.
How do i know if I'm being too 'clingy'?

 

[Goofball]

Oh, btw, she sees me as 'just a close friend...' htf do i escape that trap? I've read some of the articles on the site but none really match my situation

 

[Goofball]

/bump

I', going crazy here

 

[undesputable]

Re: Noob needs help please fellas

Originally posted by Goofball
(if u need anymore info. just ask... This girl means SOO much to me and I dont want to lose her...)

Thats the problem right there....with a mentality like that youre getting nowhere with girls. Dont be clingy, dont be posessive as you said, dont care that much....Show her that youre interested in her, but dont make it too obvious or make it seem like shes the only girl in your life. Girls like what they cant have, dont make yourself or your feelings too available. Theyre also full of emotional bull****, which means that when she said you reminded her of her bf most likly was bull**** and she just meant that she doesnt like you. be a man dude seriously, forget the girl, find some other girl and maybe shell eventually have interest for you seeing how youre such a pimp.

Anyways stop crying like a little ***** and dont let any girl bring you down for any reason...theyre not worth it, trust me.

 

[[]D [] []V[] []D]

Hey man....

You do sound like your going crazy, dun worry im here to help! Undesputable is right!

You should never let any girl make you in such an emotional state... a girls a girl, thats how you have to see it from now on! Nothing special about them!

Now i don't want you to spend your summer reading DJ articles until the summer is over and you realize that you just messed up your summer.

Buddy just chillax and have fun for the summer... go out and interact with women!

But before you do that.. let me tell you some things:

- If you want to get her so bad... dont express your feelings toward her [Whatever you do, don't tell her you like her anymore!]

- Whenever you talk to her... keep it nice and short and leave on a good note [short convo = 5 min max.]

- If you like her so much... then she's probably some hot chick that other guys digg.. so you think she's gonna go for you cuz you are acting like a 'wussy'? NO... Being a DJ means that your a man. Or as i like to call it... a gangster. (Think the mentality of a gangster/DJ but not the shooting/drugs/gangster clothes etc.)

*The mind of a gangster/DJ is that they are real men! They have lots of friends (social status), and they are fun to be around, and they know how to take care of their girl... and you will nvr see a gangster beg a girl to be his girlfriend!

-Be a challenge to HER!!!

-Be ****y + Funny

End of summer....
Her: "So you think you're gonna win me over now?"

You:"Hm.. i dont think you can keep up with me anymore... maybe if you're really nice to me, ill give you another chance"

-Smile a lot, but act natural (dont frown)
-Look into her eyes when your talking
-Kino (Kino = Playful touching)

There's a bullsh1t full of info that you should start to practice on over the summer instead of reading 'ALL' of the DJ bible....

Good Luck ma fren!

And to answer your question about how not to be too clingy...

-DJ's like people on the forums nvr worry about that anymore... the thing is that you have to put EFFORT into being clingly ('always' hanging around with her), so just DONT do that....

But you know you're too clingly when you think about if she likes you or not... think about it!
:woo:

 

[Goofball]

Thanks... I will really owe u guys if this all works out :crackup:
Time to start reading the *bible* :cheer:

Btw, i went out today and she was there also (a big group of us.) I spoke to her only when spoken to, but then she claimed i was ignoring her How do i draw the line between ignoring and *playing hard to get*?

 

[Javelin44]

THERE IS NO MORE HER.
Get that into your head. Stop trying to get things with this one girl. You are a senior? Act like one. Get more girls. Have some fun. Stop chasing down this ONE stupid girl. I don't care how good she is. My girlfriends are better than that WHEN I'm dating them. Notice how their value changes. Change her value. Stop putting so much effort into a girl you already "screwed" up on as you said. You acknowledge it, now act it. Put your money where your mouth is. That is my challenge to you buddy.

 

[[]D [] []V[] []D]

Well it's true that you probably won't get her, but how i like to think of it is that.... you might as well learn from your mistakes and get experience from this girl, cuz after all he is an AFC and everybody has to start somewhere.. i say keep going for her since you have no better place to start than her!

Now on to your question about the line of ignoring her and not.....

It's not so much only talk to her when she talks to you.... but thats a good start. Ignoring her isn't always a bad idea... don't worry about that problem, what i suggest you do is have a intimate talk with her for like 30min or however long you can keep a good convo.. and then start to ignore her for a bit (When i say ignore i don't mean so that she hates you... ignore her so that she has the feeling of missing you)

And just to remind you, when you talk to her...

-Be ****y + funny
-be positive (kinda obvious)
-dont give away too much about yourself... instead, ask her how she feels about things!

goodluck!

 

[Goofball]

Do the feelings for a girl really *enhance* as much when she becomes a gf?
("You see her in a new light")

Right now I'm kinda giving up on her, and I'm not gonna try and... force her to fall in love with me... If shes going, it has to be natural right? I'lll just be me, and see what happens from there

 

[Goofball]

I've been taking all your advice, putting it into effect, and i have to say I'm noticing an improvement :woo:
Not from her, but just my general appeal to girls :cheer:
Kino is great, and i really owe you guys...
THANKS!

 

[Goofball]

And how do u truely let a girl go? i know in order to get her i just have to let it be, but that seems like going backwards in order to go forwards I cant help it if im jealous when she hangs out with other guys... can I?
Come on guys, dont cut me off now!

 

[undesputable]

youre beyond our help....seriously go read the dj bible, and read all the posts in the page where you also find the bible. http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

 

[[]D [] []V[] []D]

Haha... ok fine i wont cut you off

I have a life too... lol well anyways...

How to let a girl go you ask?
Forget about her... go for another girl!

For your second question...
Attraction doesn't make sense... to get a girl, you tease her.... and nice guys always finish last... that doesnt make sense!

Why do you think so many ppl like you lol arent getting any girls? haha jks jks! cuz you act too nice (AFC)

And lastly... jealous when she hangs out with other guys????

WTF man... your a MAN now, she's not the only girl in the world you know... when shes chatting with other guys, you chat with other girls and do it "in her face' (like when she's around)!!!

If you really want her... just keep small talking with her and creating tension between you two...

You have another life now... shes just a girl... go for others AT THE SAME TIME

 

[08aisaac]

I know it may be hard to break the habit of wanting her and only her, but until you stop thinking about her and start going after some other girls, you will never become fully DJ. About a year ago I started not fully persuing any girl. Like I would like all of the girls and then I truly became a DJ. I wouldn't really think about any girl that much at all. And I became happy.

To address your last post, there is rally no way to stop liking someone if you are in the state of mind that you are in. I went through many emotional roalercoasters that you seem to be going through before I came into the mindset that I am in right now. I would obsess over one girl then over another and it didn't really stop until just abot a year ago.

Just give it time and find something else to obsess over. Like your career or making money. There is nothing you can really do except find something else that you like to do.

good luck