R-e-s-p-e-c-t

[KockyMcGoodstroke]

I know this has been gone over again and again and again. However, one more time won't hurt at all. It's the subject of respect. I've been reading the ****y and funny stuff. I can act pretty suave and smooth through some stuff, but the element of getting her to respect you is tricky for me. By her I mean someone that you have been on a few dates with and are starting to like a lot(the feeling is mutual).

I had a situation where it seems she got too comfortable not seeing me all week, not returning my calls, and being short with my texts. Then she would see me for work on the weekend and act flirty like nothing was wrong. When I stopped calling for a few weeks, and ignored her at work she started acting right, even coming out of a few garments.

My thing is that I know I can't approach this respect thing logically. That would only be a recipe for disaster. I'm trying to figure out how to keep her on her toes, how to make sure that she understands that I am a catch, and that I have better things to do with my time than tolerate second class behavior. Also including how to react when I see other guys talking to her, and she's not dismissing them even though I'm somewhere around. Not out of jealousy because I know my worth, but out of respect.

 

[Iceberg]

I can act pretty suave and smooth through some stuff, but the element of getting her to respect you is tricky for me. By her I mean someone that you have been on a few dates with and are starting to like a lot(the feeling is mutual).

I had a situation where it seems she got too comfortable not seeing me all week, not returning my calls, and being short with my texts.

I'm not sure about "getting her to respect you." She should respect you right from the start (as long as you're a respectable guy and not a wimp). At least that's how I approach relationships.

In regards to my phone calls to her, she should understand that if I call Monday afternoon, she may not hear from me again until Wednesday evening. In regards to a girl's calls to me....if she doesn't return my calls, it's over. That's disrespect and you can't tolerate it.

I mean, hey, a girl like that can be your F-Buddy for a period of time, but you can't trust those ones with your emotions.

My thing is that I know I can't approach this respect thing logically. That would only be a recipe for disaster. I'm trying to figure out how to keep her on her toes, how to make sure that she understands that I am a catch, and that I have better things to do with my time than tolerate second class behavior. Also including how to react when I see other guys talking to her, and she's not dismissing them even though I'm somewhere around. Not out of jealousy because I know my worth, but out of respect.

I don't know man...I don't like this girl. She's playing these little kiddie games with you. Doesn't return calls. You don't see her for a week. She doesn't see you for a week. Sounds like you're just a member of her stable of men.

Think about it. When you like a girl and she calls you, what do you do? Maybe you answer right away. Maybe you wait an hour or so, just to keep from appearing desperate. But you don't just ignore it.

This talking to other guys stuff + the phone stuff. You can take it two ways...either she wants you to step up your game and make a move to claim her. Or she's just a game-player, and you treat her like the party girl skank she is (meaning drop her, or bang her with no emotions).

 

[KockyMcGoodstroke]

I appreciate the honest input. The funny thing is that my friend says the same thing about not liking her and her playing games. She says shes been hurt a lot of times so it's hard for her to articulate how she feels. Some of it I feel is classic female bs, but something about her seems sincere. If I was to make a move to claim her, what would be the non-AFC way of doing it?

 

[DavenJuan]

Originally posted by Kocky
I'm trying to figure out how to keep her on her toes, how to make sure that she understands that I am a catch, and that I have better things to do with my time than tolerate second class behavior

when you stop concerning yourself with CONVINCING others that you are a catch, is the ONLY time when you actually become ..a "Catch"

believe me brother. i have been there. being a catch is all inner game. its a mentality, not the way you act, or what you say. and based on your post you dont have this mentality.

ask yourself. would a catch care if some girl he went on a few dates with didnt return is phone calls? absolutely not. because he has already moved on. someone else will appreciate HIS TIME. YOU were doing her the favor by calling in the first place. is this not true..?

i cant stress enough that its ALL about what you think of yourself. when you stop taking sh!t from people (men and women), and have a level of "respect" for YOURSELF, then you make no compromise on your expectations.

"all that we are, is the result of what we have thought"
-Ghandi

forget convincing others about you, instead, start convincing yourself

 

[KockyMcGoodstroke]

Thats very true. It's funny because I work with a few women who see the situation first hand and they're like well she really likes you, but you need to do be more tough, be more aggressive. It's almost like it's all about what I have to do for her, but what about me? So I guess I have to hold myself to a higher standard, and stop tolerating nonsense. First from inside my own head, and then it will be projected in my actions.

 

[Iceberg]

I appreciate the honest input. The funny thing is that my friend says the same thing about not liking her and her playing games. She says shes been hurt a lot of times so it's hard for her to articulate how she feels.

Hey, whatever. You're trying to date her, not be her therapist. Regardless of her past experiences, if she CURRENTLY isn't doing things that meet your standards, then you should drop her...currently. Don't justify her behavior that's pissing you off.

If I was to make a move to claim her, what would be the non-AFC way of doing it?

Well, to be blunt....sex. Unless you're the guy who's sexing her, you're just one of a million guys who aren't sexing her.

I'm not saying to let your d*** boss your around. But be aggressive. When I was younger and in situations like yours, eventually I'd get to the point of, "Wait a minute...why am I devoting all this time, energy, and thought to a girl who I'm not even having sex with?" And pretty much since then, any girl who doesn't return a phone call more than once, is dropped. Talking to guys, trying to get me jealous? Dropped. Oh, your ex boyfriend hurt your feelings? Too bad...I'm not here to solve a girl's life problems...I'm here to date her and make our present lives a little better.

 

[Ease]

Have you been sleeping with her?

If you mean make a move as in 'ask her out on a date' then you have no game here.

If you just mean get her interest and are thinking about getting exclusive, which i think you are, you need to play the game.

So she has been playing hard to get, but you can get a reaction when you ignore her for a couple of weeks?

You need to beat her at the game. However also remember that in the complex mind of a female, unresponsive behaviour like this is a sign of low interest. Its not too low, its just not as high as you would like. If it was high enough, she would be too obsessed with you to be able to play hard to get and will be iniating contact all the time. There is no shortcut to this in my experience, dont try to claim her. She will come to you and start bugging you to be her boyfriend, anything else and she will run for the hills.

Keep your game tight and dont let her game playing work. Dont show a reaction and keep gaining her interest level during dates. Some practical pointers on how to get your power and respect back:

Call at the last minute. Arrange dates late. Dont speak of future get togethers. Dont call when you say u will. Arrive late for dates (this one is a killer). If you really need an interest boost, cancel a date on her, that will hit a nerve. Dont reply occasionally when she initiates contact: if she feels she can reach you whenever she likes then she will feel in control and you will lose the game. Dont answer and call her back later. And so on, use all these cool ideas to become an *******.

Feel free to add to my list of ******* behaviour, i can always use new tricks.

 

[KockyMcGoodstroke]

I got you. I gotta work on that I slipped up this weekend and asked her if me n her were going anywhere, like things between us. That might have set me back a few steps...