"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Quiet girls

Sean O

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Okay, there's this girl who has been showing me signs of interest, and I've been applying my game accordingly to her. However, I'm finding myself thrown off occasionally because she's kinda quiet. Don't get me wrong - she and I can keep up a conversation reasonably well, but sometimes it's tricky to get one started with her, and also I sometimes find myself having to "lead" her from topic to topic. I know not to probe her endlessly with questions in hopes of finally asking one that she can rant about, though; that would just make her feel uncomfortable. It's just an unusual situation for me, since most of the time the women I meet are content to talk as much as I let them :D.

Anyway, my question is: In cases like this, is it a big deal if I allow myself to be more "chatty", so long as I don't dominate the conversation?
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Sean O

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And? Whats your point? YOU are the man of the interaction, is is your job to Lead - Leading a women in ANYTHING is by far the most sexiest thing you can do for her - guaranteed.
...Good point lol. I almost forgot that leading a woman also applies to conversations, so long as you're polite and respectful about it (unless you're neg-hitting her :D), and that you don't try to force anything that she wouldn't be comfortable with. Of course, those premises apply to all other things as well.

Sometimes you have to go fishing man, even the best conversationalists do. How can you possibly have a conversation when you are talking to her about something that she dosnt like? That to her is boring, NEVER bore a woman, Make her laugh, cry, angry whatever - but DO NOT BORE her. Try to find out what interests her, try to find commonalities and Vibe with her - women offer us multitudes of threads in conversation in which to LEAD it. Actively listening to what she says is KEY,KEY,KEY!
When I said I know not to probe her with questions, I meant that I know not to do it in a way that would make her feel like she's in an interrogation, i.e. not letting the questions come naturally with the flow of the conversation. Of course I gotta talk with her about her interests and the like, otherwise there ain't no conversation to be had :D.

LEAD the convo as you have been ,Shy girls WONT talk too much - it is upto you to bring them out of their shell.
I may not have explained things properly before. She's "quiet" in the sense that she doesn't go out of her way to talk particularly often - she's definitely NOT shy. Hell, she uses kino on me about as much as I use kino on her :up:.

Anyway, now that I think about it again, I've already been doing what you're describing (using information she gives me in her responses to get her to tell me about herself/her interests/etc.). I think I may have just been too nitpicky about what constitutes good conversation flow, i.e. I was worried that asking an off-topic question that came up from something she said that was on-topic was bad flow... but I realize now that as long as there's a link or a transition of some sort, it's cool. Thanks for your response.
 

jigga23

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Dude im in the same situation. This girl im trying to game somewhat is quite also except when she drinks. She says i talk too much sometimes im like wtf then say something. these girls are hard to figure out. Does she ever call you first to do somethign or do you just usually do the calling in lead cause right now i call and do the lead. its kind of annoying right now
 

Sean O

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^^ My situation is a little different than yours. I'm in grade 12, as is the girl, and we have physics and chemistry together. I got her MSN a couple of days ago but I haven't spoken to her online yet (probably 'cause I haven't been on the computer that much), so the flirting has all been done in person so far. To answer your question though, she has indeed approached me a few times, but more often I'm the one leading (which is how it should be :D).

Anyway, I realized something last night: even during times when neither she or I was saying anything, she still seemed pretty calm and relaxed, in the same way that she is when we're talking. It may just be that quiet girls like these don't put as much emphasis on having big-ass conversations all the time as other girls do; they're content to just chill with ya sometimes :up:. Anyone have any thoughts on this "revelation"?
 

organizedconfusion

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just don't idealize her or build her up in your imagination into someone she is not..it's misleading and it's usually wrong the way you may 'perceive' her to be. This happens to quiet girls the most because until you get to know her, you never really do..so it's temping to imagine her a certain way, if you are not carefull you could become trapped to the percieved image of her in your mind only to become disappointed by her when she dosen't measure up to who you 'thought' she was.
i use to do this alll the time *sigh* the toughest lessons in life are the ones learned the hard way...
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

Read more...

Sean O

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just don't idealize her or build her up in your imagination into someone she is not..
I got over this habit a long time ago... but thanks anyway :).
 
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