"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Quick Tip From Some Women

HereToImprove

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I was having a conversation with some women tonight, one who is a FB, and we were talking about guys approaching and how they said 75% of the guys who approach are absolutely no good. Knowing that this probably isn't the case, I posed the question "How can you tell if a guy is someone you won't be interested in within the first few seconds? You haven't even spoken to him! They can't all be ugly."

And they, to a woman, said this:

"When guys enter a room, we are checking them out. Probably more than you are checking us out. And we know when a guy has checked us out, and then they take an hour of standing around and staring and pretending to do something else and getting up the courage to come over to me. Then, they usually have a cheesy line on top of it. This tells me that they have no courage or creativity."

Its a ringing endorsement of the value of the three second rule. Pretty much the entire conversation on this level reinforced everything we talk about here, such as being a challenge, approaching quickly, setting a positive frame, etc.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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undesputable

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Hmm a woman actually says something true and helpful....how old was she?
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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This is good stuff. I've learned that when I enter a room (especially with experienced wingmen) I need to size up the fillies and decide quickly who I'd be going after so that I am in command of at least the first wing. A DJ can't be indecisive or complacent when with a capable wing.
 

Fatality

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So if you wait too long they assume you are a wuss? That's odd because out of all the girls I got at school I waited many weeks before I made a move.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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chance

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that's not always true. i never always made moves fast. i sometimes waited until like at the end of a party or something. even after all the looks i got. she was still digging me.
 

Fatality

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Originally posted by chance
that's not always true. i never always made moves fast. i sometimes waited until like at the end of a party or something. even after all the looks i got. she was still digging me.
yep that's basically how it was for me

if she rejects you for not approaching her right away you probably didn't have much of a chance with her to begin with
 

backbreaker

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it's true to some extent.

However, women aren't the top prority in my life, so if I am actually doing something else, I will finish what I am doing. When I met my current GF, I tho ught she was extremely good looking. I flirted with her, and proceeded to shop for 2 more hours.

I came back later on and told her I tho ught she was good looking and grabbed her #.

It's like letting a women know that they may be cute, but they aren't the most important thing to me.

At the same time, there is a diffeernce between pretending to be busy because you are scared.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by chance
that's not always true. i never always made moves fast. i sometimes waited until like at the end of a party or something. even after all the looks i got. she was still digging me.
That's easy if you are hanging out with a bunch of wall huggers. I'm talking about when there are other capable DJs around. No offense but you wouldn't have much of a chance if you had real competition in the vicinity.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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