okay so ive been hanging out with this chick for a few months, we arent anything too serious. well, tonight she told me she was going to work out, and i was like yeah cool. well i find out somehow that she went with her ex bf who she has said she never talks to anymore. i dont know if its even anything to worry about and i dont really know where i stand with her. i wanna basically let her know that i need some space for a few days because i have a lot going on, basically to let her know that im kinda moving on to see how she reacts. basically put her at a fork in the road to either show some initiative to make this go somewhere or let me be on my way. anyone have any thoughts they can give me before i call her and tell her this? im not going to mention anything about the ex bf, just kinda give her the feeling that im confused or something to see if she comes on to me stronger and tries to keep me.
Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
quick question...
- Thread starter cmr662
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
littlebumblebee
Don Juan
NO NO NO
S-T-O-P, hang up the phone and re-think this one. From a girls perspective, I'd be pissed. Cause what you are doing is screwing with her head and if you make her think that you're confused and may not be interested, she will think you are confused and not interested. It would be a way way better idea to be truthful and say that youve been having a great time with her and you wanted to know her thoughts on where this relationship is headed.. if in fact it is headed anywhere. You can add that you've got a lot of stuff going on or coming up.. whatever, and you wanted to straighten this situation/ relationship out in your head before you get all bogged down with other stuff.
That would go over way better cause you make her feel important and thats ultimately what we want.
S-T-O-P, hang up the phone and re-think this one. From a girls perspective, I'd be pissed. Cause what you are doing is screwing with her head and if you make her think that you're confused and may not be interested, she will think you are confused and not interested. It would be a way way better idea to be truthful and say that youve been having a great time with her and you wanted to know her thoughts on where this relationship is headed.. if in fact it is headed anywhere. You can add that you've got a lot of stuff going on or coming up.. whatever, and you wanted to straighten this situation/ relationship out in your head before you get all bogged down with other stuff.
That would go over way better cause you make her feel important and thats ultimately what we want.
ive done that, i let her know that i was interested and wanted it to go somewhere. she didnt respond negatively at all, and didnt respond like she was ready for it either. this was about a couple weeks ago and weve still hung out like normal. weve been hanging out for a few months now and it seems like its going nowhere. ive let my side be known. advice?
littlebumblebee
Don Juan
have you made any "moves" on her? i will be able to tell you right away from her reactions. even little flirty things.
cave dweller
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2004
- Messages
- 572
- Reaction score
- 6
No..........
No,
To hell with that........
She is out 'banging' her ex and you wonder what you should say?
Hey, wake up.......................
Give her the....... "NEXT"
cave dweller
No,
To hell with that........
She is out 'banging' her ex and you wonder what you should say?
Hey, wake up.......................
Give her the....... "NEXT"
cave dweller
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
yes, we have been hanging out for quite a few months and have messed around. the past week we have been kinda distant and not really as close as it has been. ive made it clear i care about her, she said she cares about me, but for she says she has relationship issues because shes been hurt in the past and thats the reason why i guess this is taking so long. i just need to either go one way or another, im sick of being on the line where i dont know where this is going. then when i hear shes going to the gym with her ex that she just told me she never talked to anymore???
i guess i just feel like i should probably "disappear" for a few days or a week and see if she comes begging for me. either by saying i just need a few days to think, or by not answering/returning any phone calls of hers. i figure if she doesnt make an effort, ive already started to move on, if she comes back, i have an idea of whats on her mind.
cave dweller
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 1, 2004
- Messages
- 572
- Reaction score
- 6
him........
Hey,
She is getting back with him.......
You are history.
cave dweller
Hey,
She is getting back with him.......
You are history.
cave dweller
littlebumblebee
Don Juan
unfortunately i have been the girl in that situation and I did go back to my ex. it starts with hanging out and we all know what hanging out leads to.
keep in mind every situation is different. it might be a good idea to just let her be then. i hurt a really nice guy too when i got back together with my ex.. i feel horrible about it now. it might depend on how long she was with her ex b4 he was her ex... are we talking like only a few weeks or months,, or like several years?
keep in mind every situation is different. it might be a good idea to just let her be then. i hurt a really nice guy too when i got back together with my ex.. i feel horrible about it now. it might depend on how long she was with her ex b4 he was her ex... are we talking like only a few weeks or months,, or like several years?
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
littlebumblebee
Don Juan
the gym can be a very sexual atmosphere if you think about it. I know whenever i go to the gym with my boyfriend i think its hot to watch him lift weights and get all sweaty.. maybe thats just me tho lol
littlebumblebee
Don Juan
no expectations. remember that. I try to remind myself of that everyday. if you tell her you need space and think she may come crawling back you may be very dissapointed if she does not. you do not need to have this situation effect your self worth/ esteem. trust me. just say you arnt going to be as available as you have been for the next few weeks and if you neglect to contact her you appologize but if she wants to contact you shes free to do so. That might work.
i will admit, yes she probably will contact me. as a matter of fact, i KNOW she will. thats not the goal. the goal is for this to start to go one way or another. i either need to get over this girl, or have it go forward. yes i might be disappointed if she doesnt come back to me, but if she doesnt then i guess i will know that she obviously didnt care about me like she said. i know i can keep going as it is now, with us hanging out but nothing really serious at all. thats not what i want anymore, one way or another. this has been going on for quite a while and i dont want to do it anymore.
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
This girl is "playing" you - she is interested in her ex more than you. You should have never shared your feelings with her. You like her more than she likes you - you are in a losing position!! Leave her alone and start on another victim!! Whatever you do don't get serious with her - she lied to you for a reason (to see another dude) and she will do this again!! Don't trust her!!
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.