Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Quick question

AP11

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Theres a girl i called around 3 to 4 days ago ( she told me to call her when i got back from vacation). She hasnt returned my call. how long do you wait before leaving another message calling her on her b.s.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Tedward

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I would say you can try calling her again, but dont leave a message if you get the machine. The big thing here is to not appear desperate. But at the same time, there is always the possibility she did not get your first message for some reason, which is why you should try calling her again. If she told you to call her, she probably isnt purposely not returning your calls.
 

Jerky Boi

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Yeah, it'd be different if you told her that you were going to call her. She was the one that told you to call her so I wouldn't worry about it. Just try calling her again and don't leave a message.
 

NRM

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I say give it at least a week, I mean, she told you to call when you got back from vacation, and you pretty much did it right away, so that wasn't being much of a challenge. A week should be a good amount of time to have gone by that it kinda seems like both people forgot.

Call her, don't leave a message, she could be on her own vacation or something, it is summer time. I wouldn't worry about it much.
 

AP11

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yeah, see the only thing was we were planning on doing something this week. thats the only reason i would hesitate to wait a week. also when i do finally talk to her, should i just blow it off like nothing happend or ask if she got my message, how should i handle that?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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NRM

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Don't mention the message. Confirm plans or the date or whatever. Bringing up the message can become awkward for her, maybe she was busy, maybe she was flushing drugs down the toliet, maybe she was ignoring you. Who knows, but that's all in the past it doesn't matter. Look to the future. Make and confirm the date, go on it, have fun. You don't need to blow off the message if she asks, but you don't need to ask her if she got the message, because what would the point of that be?

Hopefully, your message wasn't too drawn out. Maybe something like "Hey, it's AP11, just got back from vacation, call me back" instead of drawn out plans of what you were gonna do. If you need to call her, call her, don't leave another message. You're in a tight spot, there are no rules to the game, so just do what you need to do to get you out there on the date.
 

AP11

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quick update

Just a quick update, i called her got her voicemail again, didnt leave a message. Its now 2 days later and still no call. Normally i would just next this girl, but her interest level was so high before i left for vacation im not sure what to think. Is she playing games. What would you guys suggest i do. Input would be greatly appreaciated.
 

NRM

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She has your number. Next her till she calls you back. She might have had high interest before, but she may have met another guy while you were on vacation and now her and her girlfriends are laughing at you because you keep calling. So quit calling, next, and if she ever calls you back, then alright.

It's just this, it seems that you're calling a cell phone if you keep getting voicemail. You should have her home phone number, because no one can always dodge a home phone call. If her interest is as high as you thought it was, she should be waiting by the phone anxious for your call since you got back from vacation.
 
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