"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Quick message to anybody who thinks their girl has BPD

Captain

Master Don Juan
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Again I see a fair few guys here talking about a girl or ex with BPD.

For example, right now there is one guy asking "was my ex BPD?"

I have 2 better questions:

1. Why do you care?
2. Why does it matter?

Let me elaborate:

1. Does it really matter why she is jerking you around and treating you bad? There are no excuses for bad behaviour. Bad behaviour is bad behaviour. You should not be putting up with it.

You are under NO obligation to give her extra chances or special treatment because she has a mental illness. Relationships are NOT about OBLIGATION.

2. You do not give a woman special treatment because of a mental illness. You are NOT her shrink. No mental illness is an excuse, she can find another guy who wants to put up with her, because you do not have to. Again, if she is behaving bad, then she is behaving bad, and it's affecting YOU in a NEGATIVE way, no matter what the reason.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Brighty

Master Don Juan
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Captain said:
Again I see a fair few guys here talking about a girl or ex with BPD.

For example, right now there is one guy asking "was my ex BPD?"

I have 2 better questions:

1. Why do you care?
2. Why does it matter?

Let me elaborate:

1. Does it really matter why she is jerking you around and treating you bad? There are no excuses for bad behaviour. Bad behaviour is bad behaviour. You should not be putting up with it.

You are under NO obligation to give her extra chances or special treatment because she has a mental illness. Relationships are NOT about OBLIGATION.

2. You do not give a woman special treatment because of a mental illness. You are NOT her shrink. No mental illness is an excuse, she can find another guy who wants to put up with her, because you do not have to. Again, if she is behaving bad, then she is behaving bad, and it's affecting YOU in a NEGATIVE way, no matter what the reason.

Great post. The important thing to remember is to put yourself first in a situation like this and think about if this relationship is really healthy for you or not. You are not Captain Save-a-ho.
 

NewKidOnTheBlock

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I always figured the real challenge in breaking up with a girl like that is not because she treats you like ****, but because the moment you do try and break up with her she snaps out of it and begins balling. This usually forms a type of cycle...Way to yank a guys chain huh?

Well guys, don't take that crap! No matter how nice I am to a girl, if i pulled some dumb **** around her once in a while, she would dump my ass instead of tolerating it. Break the habit of letting her get away with it and dump her! A bad girlfriend is worse than no girlfriend i say.
 
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