Damaniac said:
I feel that I make too many excuses for not talking to girls, but there is one that I am borderline on and am not sure if it really is an excuse or if it can be justified. When I am in the classroom alot of times our teacher will tell us to not talk, or we will be busy the whole time. I could be doing work or listening to the teacher talking and there could be a girl next to me that I want to talk to, but dont simply because of the rules of not talking (teacher calling me out) or being busy. My question is am I wrong to listen or stay busy in class and not pay attention to girls? or can I work around this and how?
This question spurs up from the fact that today there was a girl right next to me that I wanted to talk to in one of my classes but didnt because my teacher was talking alot and we were kept pretty busy.
Damaniac, for the record, nothing is more important than taking your education seriously. If you've busy work in front of you, DO IT. The teacher delivering important information? LISTEN. I don't care how much of a Don Juan you either want to be, or this site is pressing you to be, education is TOP priority. Make sure you're pay attention in those classes. Girls take no priority over that.
With that discretion, in regards to your situation, I know your position. I was in your shoes countless times. Girl you practically have your heart slamming against your chest for is almost literally touching you, elbow to elbow? Yep. I know. Want to say something, but you've a strict teacher, who's either talking from the minute the bell rings, down to the very last second, or time to talk in between lectures are seldom available.
In retrospect, I realized I was making excuses not to talk to all the girls I was in your situation with. The fact is, you've ample opportunities to talk to them, you're simply nervous, and try to rationalize not approaching.
Your problem carries a solution that can only be seen when you do away with nervousness. Here's what you do.
When the class is filing in, place yourself in a position where you pass her; give a casual hey. It helps if you know her name. In your situation, I always set myself in a place where I would pass this one girl I liked. I would walk in the classroom (Spanish II), and the daily routine was you'd have to pick up your assignment at a desk, positioned in the front of the room.
I always strolled in late to the classroom, so by the time I arrived, the girl had already gotten her assignment, and was rested at her desk. Due to some luck, I suppose, her desk was adjacent to the assignment desk, so upon picking up a handful of papers, turning to my right, BAM. I had about a two second window to say something before it would just be flat out awkward. WITHOUT THINKING, I would continue moving, and as i passed her desk, I made sure to attract her eyes, and as soon as she hung on, "sup [name]." she greeted me back. That's It.
Now, your room set up could be entirely different, so some dynamics change, but the essentials remain. Before the bell rings, normally, regardless of class, everyone is getting situated. The teacher is either restarting her lesson plan for your class at her desk, or at the door greeting the influx of classmates. During that window of time, amidst the movement, say Hi to your girl. Try not to make it romeo and Juliet, or Dancing in the Rain---- by this, I mean don't walk down a clear isle, where only she is present, in the middle of the classroom, and approach her. You'll make it seem like you sought after her through the madness, which, I suppose isn't wrong, but I can't stress
casual enough. For instance, through the movement, if you place yourself in a position to pass by her, as she's making the transition by you, simply say hey [name], and keep it moving. Do it for a couple of weeks so she familiarizes herself with you. THAT's when you take it outside of class... But doing this from the beginning helps as well.
