Question on Making Time

[BigDawg]

I think most of you would agree with me that if a woman is interested in you, she'll make time for you, right?

But lately, I've gotten the feeling that the opposite isn't necessarily true. I mean, just because she makes time for you, it doesn't mean her interest level is really high.

For the last several months I've been casually dating (IOW, not very seriously) an HB7. I haven't been able to interpret her IL, but it must be somewhere above 50% because she usually says yes when I suggest plans to go out.

But my doubts arise because she'll cancel almost as often as she'll agree (60% of the time she says yes, and 40% no, roughly). So, that's what got me wondering, that since she's making time for me, she's probably interested. But, I also feel that just because she's making time, she's not overly interested.

Here's the potential complication. I really dig her, but I am also moving away from here in about a month or so. After I move, it doesn't appear that any relationship will survive the transition. So, I'm trying to come to terms with that, too.

What are your thoughts? I'm more interested in your response to the first two paragraphs, since the rest of the story is just the setup. But if you've got some comments on the rest, feel free.

Thanks.

 

[BigDawg]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure I missed my chance to strike while the iron was still hot. And, my people-reading skills are way off, so that's why I'm stuck.

Part of this is because of a HB8 who was really into me about 6 or 7 months ago, to the point that several mutual friends noticed and told me (I had picked up on her high IL as well). But when I made my move, she caved, and gave me the "I just broke up with my BF and I'm not looking to date right now" rejection. Of course, that's a load of BS, and it turns out that she had already earmarked her next BF, and her interest in me was a passing thing.

So, when this other girl came along, I became skeptical, almost to the point of paranoia. Not a healthy way to get involved, is it?

I guess the whole thing is moot, considering that I'm leaving soon. But my curiosity remains, even if from a psychological perspective.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Well you want an answer to your first two paragraphs, but its a big piece of information that you gave us when you mentioned your moving away in a month.

If I were you I'd look at the situation as the perfect scenario to be a little more daring, try something more exciting and color outside the lines a bit to see how she reacts. In my opinion I think this woman enjoys your company, but your the fallback. If something better comes up, she's canceling on you. This isn't a problem of her not making time for you. Its a problem of you not progressing and elevating her initial interest level. Women love attention, they're also very few women in this world who will cut you off and stop hanging out with you when your always offering to take them out, romantic interest or not.

If you really dig her, I'd try something different like I mentioned above, but in any case this will not end well for you. Your moving away, the LD shiat never works and your not progessing with her right now. Is there really any point to keep seeing her??

Have you two hooked up yet, or slept together??

PIMP

 

[mcqueen207]

If I were you I'd look at the situation as the perfect scenario to be a little more daring, try something more exciting and color outside the lines a bit to see how she reacts.
PIMP

Could you give an example?

I am in a similar situation... but we are sleeping together...occasionally. :woo:

 

[BigDawg]

I'm a rAFC, so I haven't been so bold to make any real move, sadly. So, no, I haven't slept with her. :cuss:

While I don't want to make excuses to rationalize my chump behavior, she has been bogged down the last couple of months with a major hurdle in her graduate studies (she's working on a PhD), so that has stressed her out a lot, and she was really crabby much of the time. That's not conducive to any kind of intimacy, IMO. But she just got over the hurdle and so her mood has improved remarkably.

But Pimp-sicle, you're right about now being the time to try something bold, like hit it. I've got nothing to lose, I guess. And thanks for the insight. Her interest level is probably up, and I may just be a fallback, but once I move, I will certainly start prowling at my new location.

And I'm not really keen on doing the LD thing. I've done it before and it was miserable.

 

[xmlenigma]

Trust me.. if u give her a good night.. all her tension about her studies and PhD will clarify.

Imagine you working for a PhD .. studying etc.. no time, money, bad schedule.. confused.. dating but masturbating and no sex..

If you got a good night of love making.. how would you feel the entire next week?

Imagine that working the same way for her. SHE NEEDS IT AND WANTS IT. You are not giving it to her.

PS: Realize one thing.. WOMEN HAVE SEXUAL NEEDS. It is a bonding ritual where the chemicals inside us make us FEEL GOOD....PERIOD.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If she makes time for you WHILE giving you a plan it is a definite high interest level. If she's available whenever you call to give her a plan, you may have a situation. Remember, the whole thing is give and take unless you are getting envolved with only a 'taker.'

 

[BigDawg]

I do remember what life was like when I was working on my PhD. My gf at the time was VERY accomodating and life was good.

But you guys are right, but the more I think about it, the more I think I'm in the Friend Zone. What a horrible place to be. :cuss:

Well, I've got nothing to lose, so I might as well make the most of it.