question for women (and experienced DJs)

[smoke city]

This might be best answered by you ladies, but guys, if you have a related experience PLEASE chime in. i'll keep it short:
I've been seeing this girl (not exclusively) for about 3 months, been pretty laid back about it, see her maybe once a week. I told her when I met her that i didn't want a rel. Now i think i'm open to dating just her, but she's been freaking out the past couple of weeks and talking crazy. Now she ACTS totally into things, the sex is unbelievable, calls to say she's "thinking of me", and is constantly asking how "into her" I am. She also said she wants to feel like she "only belongs to me". fine.
then the other night she asks if we're exclusive -- I said not at the moment, Iand I can see that that's what she wants, and if that's what she wanted, I would date just her. Her response? "No, i don't want that. Let's just keep things as they are. I'm scared of relationships and I get bored of people easily." ????????
Now I'm not exactly dying to date this girl exclusively, especially after this nonsense -- but i am having a good time with her. I'm not initiating ANY of these conversations, so what can I do?
Should I back off even more? reassure her about how i feel? she's at the same time acting like i'm pressuring her (which is ridiculous) and like i'm not pressuring her enough! What do you all think is making her act like this?

 

[organizedconfusion]

..dude , i have had the same problem with this one girl that
did everything that yours is and she wounde up being
completly obsessed over me. that was THREE YEARS AGO
and she called and has harrassed me for TWO of those years.

i'd be really carefull about what you say to her, you're never
really sure about their mental health and just make sure
not to lead her on ,because she'll either kill your dog if
you have one or f*** with your s*** like your truck.

she sounds like a basket case to me.

here's a test I ALWAYS DO-
don't talk to her for the next two weeks and if you do- keep
it short and always be busy. if you see her ,see her
for only 5 minutes at a time, and be normal -not shady.
girls can sniff out BS like a K9 at the border of mexico
sniffing out the trunk of your car for teddy bears incased
with crack/cocaine (thanks alot Ralando you b*stard)

and gauge her responses. how many times she calls,
how she acts if you see her and the types of messages
she leaves you. being concerned is different from being
completly psychotic and obessive. I think you can tell
the difference.
and you can go on by making the best desicion for yourself
based on her responses and reactions.

most of the girls i encounter understand what this means-
when someone purposly distances themselves from
someone.most likley they have done it themselves
to many guys because they just wanted more space
or they were sub-conciously testing them to see
how they "really are".
And what do most guys do? call 100000000 times aday,
ask her whats wrong, stop by her work etc.
only making things worse and worse and worse...


but some guys actually "need" a woman to want and need them
and actually like taking care of those types of chicks.


for me anyways,too many freaky love songs on my voice mail
or calling just to say "Hi" three times a day or even making
"baby voices" to me too soon..NO sorry

 

[Lost In Translation]

smoke city
then the other night she asks if we're exclusive -- I said not at the moment, Iand I can see that that's what she wants, and if that's what she wanted, I would date just her. Her response? "No, i don't want that. Let's just keep things as they are. I'm scared of relationships and I get bored of people easily." ????????

"I said not at the moment"

she was expecting a different answer from you

she was hurt so came up best line she could remember from dolly/cleo/cosmo

"i get bored of people easily"

you know she wants to be your girlfriend but she didn't wanna look stupid after you rejected her

think about it


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

" stop being insecure " i hate that saying. it's a cop out for not having enough balls to confront a woman about what she is doing THAT IS WRONG or potentially damaging to a long term relationship. – Lost In Translation

 

[Dingus]

Back off a little. Whatever you do don't go into how you feel. Just keep having a good time with her while giving her the impression that you're able to have just as good of a time (and do) without her around. Give a little and then take it back. It will make her miss you.

 

[smoke city]

thanks for the insight guys. Lost In Tr: the thing is, i *didn't really reject her -- I actually told her i wouldn't mind being exclusive. She said she wanted to "keep things as they are -- with no pressure."
that's fine...but if she wants to keep things the same, then why does she keep initiating conversations about "where things are going?"
a few people now have told me to back off. but i'm not sure i can back off any more without cutting her off completely! other people have told me i should just keep looking for other girls.
that's a possibility: i have dates set up on thursday and friday, and one next week...
The other option I guess is to let her know what i really think about it. dingus, you think this would be a bad idea -- can you elaborate?

Lost in Tr: you've got some good insight there -- any specific advice for a plan of action?

 

[penkitten]

lost is right
shes saying something so it doesnt sound like shes afc or hurt
you know what she wants
just tell her what you want

 

[organizedconfusion]

test her.
that test is one of the best ways to see how she "really is."