Question for starting cold approaches

[Peter Parker]

I made this approach today and it lasted like 20 seconds max, my nerves were killing the convo so I just went for the number close.

When you first start out is it all right to cut straight to the rejection???

 

[Ebach]

Hey it's alright to do anything, so long as you improve. It's cool to get rejected. After a while you won't care if you do or not. Then it's time to work on your convo skills once you don't care about rejections. This should ease things up a lot. And remember, it takes time. It won't happen overnight. You might get stressed at first but just relax and think everything is cool and you're doing that for practice. Practice makes perfect as they say ;-)

 

[DJ Alejandro]

just go for it, man. that's one thing ive learned. i just did an approach myself. i approached two girls for my friend. it was cool. i didnt number close cuz i wasn't interested. my friend did.

but ive got the ball in my court cuz i was the one who approached.

 

[Don_Marko]

If you have a problem with your nerves go for the uglier chicks, that way you won't care about rejection and it'll give you a good chance to work on your game by testing what works and what doesn't.
I'd say 20 seconds is pretty quick for a phone number, but if conversation was dead anyways then might as well try.

 

[uniassign]

You best not to have any expectations when you first start out cold approaching. In fact, you shouldn't have any expectations in any one particular outcome.

Once you expect something to happen, you try harder etc, and this turns into a sense of desperatism, which the chicks smell a mile away and makes them run a mile the other way.

Just keep doing it and it will get better.

 

[Walden]

Undestand what it is youre afraid of.

Most guys think they're afraid of rejection but this is not true. Example , imagine you could hit on a subordinate at work. In that situation she would not be able to reject ypou and would have to come along even though for her it might be horribly akward and unpleasant.

Would you hit on her then?

I know I couldn't .

See youre really afraid of making the girl feel akward. What you should do is approach in a way where you take all the social risks yourself, you go away smooth;y if she rejects you and you don't make her feel uncomfortable. Imagine you're at a bar , and a MILF-ish looking older woman comes up to you.
She's successful , she's confident but just not your type. You talk with her , hint you aren't interested , she wishes you a good eveening and goes back to her chainsmoking friends.
How did that experience make you feel? It was a genuine compliment , that would have made you feel like a guy who is *so* money that girls want to meet and blag on him.

Right.

When you CA , you are paying that exact compliment to a girl.

You are doing her a favour. So get out and do that favour !

 

[JJMcLure]

Originally posted by Peter Parker
When you first start out is it all right to cut straight to the rejection???

First off, congratulations on getting into the field. You are ahead of a huge percentage of the guys here.

To answer your question, that's fine. A great exercise for starting out is to go out and aim to get rejected 10 times a day. It will overcome the fear of rejection. And as you are aiming to get rejected anyway, there's no pressure.

(Thing is, even if you make it your aim, some of those ten won't reject you anyway!)