Question for Penkitten or other Female Posters

[CanuckinSK]

There seems to be a generally accepted notion that MOST women have an almost psychic ability, or sixth sense, to identify a man's state of sexuality within seconds.

Depending on who you listen to, women can spot attraction killers such as low-confidence, fear, arrogance, creepiness, anger, desparation, etc. , all before a single word is even spoken. I realize a lot of this can be derived from body langauge, but I can't help but wonder...

Do men just seem to have an aura around them that betrays their true sense of self? Have you ever been attracted to a guy's looks but then lost the attraction because of the wrong aura?

I'd like to hear your input on this.

 

[DJDamage]

Do you really need a woman's input on this?? hell as a man you can tell if you see another guy shaking in his boots when he approaches a woman. There is no aura and they don't have a psychic ability, you have been watching too many episodes of star trek where Captain Kirk had sex with that green girl.

 

[CanuckinSK]

Come on DjDamage, it's not that cut and dried. There are a lot of guys who present the right image, convey positive BL and still turn women off on sight. And they're not all fat, short, or ugly either.

 

[mintxx]

women do have this kind of ability but they're not conscious of it. it's biological. no point in worrying about it. they get all confused by it and call it 'love at first sight'

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

There seems to be a generally accepted notion that MOST women have an almost psychic ability, or sixth sense, to identify a man's state of sexuality within seconds. ...

Women just listen to what men say more than men listen to women, it's a cheap trick at best.

 

[penkitten]

i think both men and women can smell desperation from a mile away.
i think if one person has low self esteem, it can show from the moment you meet, but it doesn't always.
perhaps women have some intuition that men don't, perhaps we listen a little more, but if you step back and think out of the box, you will start picking up on things pretty quick.

 

[ketostix]

I think women just draw more conclusions and inferences, most of them wrong, from a man's apparent mood and mannerisms.

 

[girl_in_a_boy_forum]

I can "tell" if a guy is creepy, bad news, arrogant, etc. Maybe it's intuition, maybe it's subconscious reading of clues. But I don't think it applies strictly to women.

 

[ketostix]

I can "tell" if a guy is creepy, bad news, arrogant, etc. Maybe it's intuition, maybe it's subconscious reading of clues. But I don't think it applies strictly to women.

How can you tell if a guy is creepy or bad news based on..what appearance? What's your definition of creepy? I hate that word because it's a derogatory label girls use (and guys) use to label a guy . Best I can figure is it means an "uncool perv or horndog". Maybe you can tell or maybe like a lot of girls you just think you can and you're wrong? Maybe he was actually a really good guy?

 

[LovelyLady]

I just trust my gut - and pay close attention to everything automatically.

 

[backbreaker]

look at james bond. Every man in the room knows he can get the girl just like every woman does

 

[girl_in_a_boy_forum]

How can you tell if a guy is creepy or bad news based on..what appearance? What's your definition of creepy? I hate that word because it's a derogatory label girls use (and guys) use to label a guy . Best I can figure is it means an "uncool perv or horndog". Maybe you can tell or maybe like a lot of girls you just think you can and you're wrong? Maybe he was actually a really good guy?

For me, "creepy" can incorporate a lot of things...stalkerish, obsessive, perverted, clingy, sketchy, maybe even socially awkward.

As for how I can tell...it's more of a gut feeling/reaction than anything else. I don't look at a guy and think, "Hmm, his shoulders are slightly forward, he walks with his toes pointing inward, etc, I guess that means he's creepy." It's just a gut reaction, and I trust my gut. It can't really be explained, or at least not in the detail you're probably looking for.

I've given some initially creepy guys the benefit of the doubt, thinking that they might be good guys after all, and every time I only discovered that, lo and behold, they actually were creepy. The last time I didn't listen to my gut, the guy tried to rape me and I had to mace him away.

 

[Bvbidd]

As a guy myself I have to agree.

I'm thought as a creepy guy myself and your gut is usally right to be honest.

If you want that vibe to go away it's simple, just act normal. Take things slow and easy.

I'm sure any guy that comes to this site has that vibe as well.

 

[MrS]

It's not just women who can figure someone out quickly, I can do it too.

 

[BlackWidow]

It's in the body language, the way he carries hisself, the way he takes care of hisself (dress, body, etc.), the approach (eye contact?) Confidence exudes like a pheramone sometimes it seems. I think a lot of that initial attraction is eye contact-it just says so much without words.

There have been times where I was definitely fooled by the attractiveness of a man only to find out he wasn't as confident or non-AFC as I would've liked to believe. Which was a MAJOR disappointment.

 

[Bible_Belt]

There have been times where I was definitely fooled by the attractiveness of a man only to find out he wasn't as confident or non-AFC as I would've liked to believe. Which was a MAJOR disappointment.

I have heard that from a lot of GFs about guys they had crushes on.

One thing I've noticed with women is that when you feel atttraction, you will tend to make positive assumptions about a guy. You fill in the blanks with whatever excites you. This is why it works to not talk a lot as a guy, and not reveal information about ourselves quickly - we take advantage of a woman's often irrational positive assumptions.

 

[jesusrules]

interesting.

 

[Mental]

I can "tell" if a guy is creepy, bad news, arrogant, etc. Maybe it's intuition, maybe it's subconscious reading of clues. But I don't think it applies strictly to women.

Is that really true, or could some women (ok, guys too) be wrong, but just look for anything to certify those feelings?

He likes kids. That means he's a child molester. Or he's antisocial, or uh... well, he's just creepy.

It's Mr. Sawyer (from Miracle on 34th street) gone wild. "A teen likes dressing up as Santa claus at the holiday season because he's mentally ill and hates his father." So if this kid gets annoyed at his father once, just once, there's your proof.

 

[ketostix]

Women's "intuition" is wrong way more often than it's right. Like Bible_Belt said they're just subjective and judgemental. If they're attracted to what they see, they ascribe positive things to a guy even if they're not actually true. If they're not attracted, they often will demonize the guy.

 

[Mental]

Women's "intuition" is wrong way more often than it's right. Like Bible_Belt said they're just subjective and judgemental. If they're attracted to what they see, they ascribe positive things to a guy even if they're not actually true. If they're not attracted, they often will demonize the guy.

Actually, I saw this pretty clearly a few years ago.

There was a guy I knew who visited a few singles parties I went to.

Actually, I was on ok terms with the guy at first... we were very similar in that we had the same type of good things in our lives. We both worked with kids. We both liked similar music. We both were fairly sarcastic...

Yet all my positive traits were (and are still) considered creepy, while he was considered wonderful.

I'm considered as a creepy child molestor sociopath when I take care of little kids. Actually, the best I could hope for is to be considered "childish" or "unable to have a mature conversation since I teach children" (eh, I don't care so much. I'm good at what I do, and I enjoy it)... But when he said he liked kids, (****blocker) he was "so sensitive."

Why? Honestly, I think a lot of it came down to better looks. (see, I can easily come across as "bitter" and "angry" there due t lack of attraction). He was buff, and I was... (well, I was working out, but it wasn't didn't appear as though I did) not. Made all the difference in how women treated either of us.

Hell, he got drunk and nasty to a few people, and damaged some stuff a few times. Normally, that might be a turnoff. I know for a fact that if I did stupid crap like that, I wouldn't have anyone holding me up while a vomited on them or swore at them. I'd be on my own.

But... he was "hot" and I wasn't, so of course all the women kissed his butt, just to be in his presence.

The difference is usually physical attraction, followed by fame, money, power type of attraction. Since I don't have many of those (yet), then anything I do is considered as worthless, unless it specifically affects them.