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Question for my brothers in the military past and present!

eli77

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With all the publicity regarding females being raped in the military how is it dating marrying and getting divorce while you're in I can imagine it's stressful but would love to know your guy's point of view I try to join in 09 couldn't get in cuz we got side but have friends who have done everything from recon to logistics to reserve duty
 

Travel memoir21

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With all the publicity regarding females being raped in the military how is it dating marrying and getting divorce while you're in I can imagine it's stressful but would love to know your guy's point of view I try to join in 09 couldn't get in cuz we got side but have friends who have done everything from recon to logistics to reserve duty

I was in The Air Force for four years.

The Military has a reputation for having a lot of divorced relationships and plenty of adultery. I know plenty of dudes who got cheated on, some girls getting knocked up suddenly etc.

If you’re going to get married while you’re in, I suggest you mature a little bit and make rank. At least an E5 salary ( Staff Sergeant). Even then, nothing is guaranteed. You’ve still got to find yourself a good woman who can endure countless deployments and being hit on by other dudes when her man is not around.
 

Pierce Manhammer

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Also do not live in on base housing, or near a base if you can avoid it.
 

SW15

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The Military has a reputation for having a lot of divorced relationships and plenty of adultery. I know plenty of dudes who got cheated on, some girls getting knocked up suddenly etc.
I have never understood that. Guys in the military are more alpha/sigma than the typical white collar working male out there. The only way this makes sense is if military wives or girlfriends are cheating on them with similar guys, such as blue collar/manual labor worker types.

You’ve still got to find yourself a good woman who can endure countless deployments and being hit on by other dudes when her man is not around.
Ordinary women in relationships today are constantly hit on by other dudes.

If an ordinary woman today keeps an Instagram or Twitter account, she's getting hit on there in the DMs if she semi regularly posts updates. Additionally, if she uses LinkedIn regularly, she will likely get hit on while using LinkedIn. I know multiple married women who are active posters on LinkedIn and all of them have received messages asking for dates or directly asking for sex.

Then, she'll get hit on in real life. I'm sure I've cold approached multiple women in relationships during my random non-bar approaching.

My sense is that women in non-marital relationships get hit on more in-person than married women. Here's why I believe that.

1. A wedding ring will reduce the number of thirsty guys who will make the approach. It won't entirely eliminate it because there are men out there who want to test the waters and see if she's an unhappily married woman who is open to new penis. Few men have the guts to actually open a conversation with a married woman randomly like that in public.
2. Married women have a daily routine that doesn't put them in contact with unattached guys or marginally attached players. Women in non-married relationships are more likely to live in parts of a metro area where more unattached men live and are thus more likely to run into cold approachers like a number of the guys who partcipate here on SoSuave.
 

RangerMIke

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Divorce and cheating is high, but it is a sub-culture. If you are on active duty and you deploy with your unit, and all the spouses are living on base, and there is a good family support system in place, then it's not too bad. The older women, married to senior officers and NCOs do a good job of keeping the younger women under control. Where I saw a lot of problems during the stupid @ss war on terrorism, we had a lot of reservists called on active duty, and when women are left on their own, without a support group, cheating and divorces is VERY high. This is what ended my marriage.

It also helps if the woman you are married to was raised in this sub-culture (Her dad was in the military), women that have no experience with long periods of time separated from their men do not deal with it well.

In the USA the number of illegal abortions EXPLODED during WWII, as women were left on their own with millions of men deployed for long periods of time. This isn't talked about much since it was one of those things that happened that authorities turned a blind eye to the practice, much the same way that alcohol was ignored during prohibition, since to do otherwise would create a serious moral problem in military. The US government promoted the mythology that soldiers, sailors, and marines deployed had their loyal women waiting for them as they worked in plants to make military equipment and ammunition for their men. That mythology was so powerful that even today it continues to exist. But if you actually talked to men that for whatever reason, could not serve in WWII, they will tell you stories about all the cheating that happened.
 

eli77

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Divorce and cheating is high, but it is a sub-culture. If you are on active duty and you deploy with your unit, and all the spouses are living on base, and there is a good family support system in place, then it's not too bad. The older women, married to senior officers and NCOs do a good job of keeping the younger women under control. Where I saw a lot of problems during the stupid @ss war on terrorism, we had a lot of reservists called on active duty, and when women are left on their own, without a support group, cheating and divorces is VERY high. This is what ended my marriage.

It also helps if the woman you are married to was raised in this sub-culture (Her dad was in the military), women that have no experience with long periods of time separated from their men do not deal with it well.

In the USA the number of illegal abortions EXPLODED during WWII, as women were left on their own with millions of men deployed for long periods of time. This isn't talked about much since it was one of those things that happened that authorities turned a blind eye to the practice, much the same way that alcohol was ignored during prohibition, since to do otherwise would create a serious moral problem in military. The US government promoted the mythology that soldiers, sailors, and marines deployed had their loyal women waiting for them as they worked in plants to make military equipment and ammunition for their men. That mythology was so powerful that even today it continues to exist. But if you actually talked to men that for whatever reason, could not serve in WWII, they will tell you stories about all the cheating that happened.
Sounds like a episode of the unit I saw once wow! Ever think about going back in?
 

HaleyBaron

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After hearing of all the stories of secret sex in the navy, the military is the perfect grounds for cheating and affairs. As if a bunch of high T men and women are just going to not do anything for six months out at sea.
 

Bible_Belt

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But if you actually talked to men that for whatever reason, could not serve in WWII, they will tell you stories about all the cheating that happened
To be fair, the allied soldiers in Europe largely raped their way around, especially France. To the victor go the spoils. And Pacific theater soldiers had easy access to cheap hookers. There are old pics of wh0rehouses with a line of sailors outside.
 

Von

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To be fair, the allied soldiers in Europe largely raped their way around, especially France. To the victor go the spoils. And Pacific theater soldiers had easy access to cheap hookers. There are old pics of wh0rehouses with a line of sailors outside.
In England during WW2, 25% of Women got an abortion.

Its the stress, the emotional void, living day To day not knowing what tomorrow will give you etc etc.

About the soldiers rape, it happens on the good Guy and bad Guy side.. When men are full of anger and testoterones To vent.

Soldiers might rape/cheat, the wives does too.

If you want a stable family in thé Army.. RangerMike is your Guy.. Tradition, female from the Army (Or Women who are used To having no Father around) etc.

Go in thé Army for yourself, not To please others
 

RangerMIke

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Sounds like a episode of the unit I saw once wow! Ever think about going back in?
Nope. My last deployment was in 2015 to Northern Iraq, for a few months. After that I left active reserve. This is actually the LAST year they can call me back, in May of next year I'll be 56 and that is mandatory retirement, so I'm done. Truth is in the last 2 years since the pandemic my body has really started falling apart. I'm in great shape for a man in his 50s, but I'm in my fifties, even if I wanted to do more time, I don't think I could make it.
 

eli77

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Nope. My last deployment was in 2015 to Northern Iraq, for a few months. After that I left active reserve. This is actually the LAST year they can call me back, in May of next year I'll be 56 and that is mandatory retirement, so I'm done. Truth is in the last 2 years since the pandemic my body has really started falling apart. I'm in great shape for a man in his 50s, but I'm in my fifties, even if I wanted to do more time, I don't think I could make it.
Wow thanks for your service I was asked to join private contract work in the Middle East thought you had to have experience apparently not ever thought about that option?
 

Stuffnu

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Nope. My last deployment was in 2015 to Northern Iraq, for a few months. After that I left active reserve. This is actually the LAST year they can call me back, in May of next year I'll be 56 and that is mandatory retirement, so I'm done. Truth is in the last 2 years since the pandemic my body has really started falling apart. I'm in great shape for a man in his 50s, but I'm in my fifties, even if I wanted to do more time, I don't think I could make it.
Hey Ranger, as someone who just enrolled in our local legion, I‘m curious to see your take with a recent decision in Canada about allowing long or colored hair (men or woman) and openly displayed tattoos including facial. I guess they are trying to boost enrollment.
Since we‘re on the topic of females and without any homophobic intentions, gays and possibly trans among the ranks. The old guard in my region certainly don’t approve.

I know historically it was all about uniformity but do you think these changes will effect the cohesion and battle readiness moving forward. Especially against Eastern powers that are not so accommodating.

Thanks for your service, sir.
 

RangerMIke

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Hey Ranger, as someone who just enrolled in our local legion, I‘m curious to see your take with a recent decision in Canada about allowing long or colored hair (men or woman) and openly displayed tattoos including facial. I guess they are trying to boost enrollment.
Since we‘re on the topic of females and without any homophobic intentions, gays and possibly trans among the ranks. The old guard in my region certainly don’t approve.

I know historically it was all about uniformity but do you think these changes will effect the cohesion and battle readiness moving forward. Especially against Eastern powers that are not so accommodating.

Thanks for your service, sir.
Hair and tats are not relevant. I really don't care.

But if you have long hair or a beard in combat, those things can be a serious impediment. Just the idea that you have long hair and a beard in the field, trying to keep that sh1t clean, makes no sense to me. If you have so much fvcking hair that your helmet doesn't fit right on your head, or your beard won't let you put on a gas mask. I would let soldier do what they want in garrison with hair and beards, but when they deploy, I'd make them cut all that off.

There are a lot of military traditions that I would sh1t can. For example, the saluting senior officers.... Jesus that is such a pain in the @ss, it should be reserved for ceremonies only. Salute the flag and the President... yes. But unless you've been in the military and had to do this stupid s1t all day long you really won't appreciate how aggravating this is.

Another is the Chaplin Corps... what a bunch of useless idiots. What the US Military needs more are trained psychologists and mental health professionals.

Another stupid thing the US military used to do is tossing gays out... man that was so dumb. Some of the best soldiers I served with were gay, and if some dude wants to wear a dress when he is in garrison... so the fvck what.
 
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It's because most of the men getting married in the military are young and dumb. There's a huge difference between a 18-20 year old male straight out of HS vs a 25-30 year old male waiting to get married after college.
 

eli77

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Hey Ranger, as someone who just enrolled in our local legion, I‘m curious to see your take with a recent decision in Canada about allowing long or colored hair (men or woman) and openly displayed tattoos including facial. I guess they are trying to boost enrollment.
Since we‘re on the topic of females and without any homophobic intentions, gays and possibly trans among the ranks. The old guard in my region certainly don’t approve.

I know historically it was all about uniformity but do you think these changes will effect the cohesion and battle readiness moving forward. Especially against Eastern powers that are not so accommodating.

Thanks for your service, sir.
Have you enlisted?
 

Bokanovsky

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Hey Ranger, as someone who just enrolled in our local legion, I‘m curious to see your take with a recent decision in Canada about allowing long or colored hair (men or woman) and openly displayed tattoos including facial. I guess they are trying to boost enrollment.
Since we‘re on the topic of females and without any homophobic intentions, gays and possibly trans among the ranks. The old guard in my region certainly don’t approve.

I know historically it was all about uniformity but do you think these changes will effect the cohesion and battle readiness moving forward. Especially against Eastern powers that are not so accommodating.

Thanks for your service, sir.
It would be interesting to see how this “modern” military made up of long-haired, facial tattoo-sporting gender non-conformists proves itself in a fight against a serious adversary (as opposed to a bunch of illiterate sandal-wearing peasants armed with rusty AK’s). From what I’ve read, western-trained volunteers (including Iraq and Afghanistan veterans) have had a pretty rough time in Ukraine. It seems that after a few months, most have either quit and returned home or have been killed or captured.
 
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Bible_Belt

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There are a lot of military traditions that I would sh1t can. For example, the saluting senior officers.... Jesus that is such a pain in the @ss, it should be reserved for ceremonies only. Salute the flag and the President... yes. But unless you've been in the military and had to do this stupid s1t all day long you really won't appreciate how aggravating this is
Room, ten-HUT! You're supposed to stand up, as you know, like a Judge just entered the courtroom when an officer enters the room. I unfortunately took an rotc scholarship to go to college in the 90s without realizing that the job was all about kissing superior butt.
 
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Room, ten-HUT! You're supposed to stand up, as you know, like a Judge just entered the courtroom when an officer enters the room. I unfortunately took an rotc scholarship to go to college in the 90s without realizing that the job was all about kissing superior butt.
did it pay off though? I turned down a navy rotc scholarship to go to hot girl U.
 
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