Question for MEN. Wimps need not read!

[NINJA PIMP]

Originally posted by manuva
Clearly nobody here has ever jumped out of a plane.

It's called a Parachute Landing Fall, and we had it drilled into us until we were doing it in our sleep in the paras.

More info:

http://www.dukesofwindsoar.com/dukes.cgi?do=html&htmlfile=html/ppg_info/parachute_landing_fall

Hmm. Link doesn't appear to be working. Google parachute landing falls, you'll see how to best survive a fall from a significant height.

Most important tip: Keep feet and knees tightly together - they are 70% stronger when kept together.

Great tip Manuva. You da man!

So we have landings covered and that's cool. So far the advice on sharks has been a little...unorthodox, so I did some more research and it turns out you should punch them in the gills!

http://news.bbc.co.uk/cbbcnews/hi/animals/newsid_3529000/3529370.stm

Some tips on prevention:

http://www.npca.org/marine_and_coastal/marine_wildlife/avoid_attack.asp

I feel safer already!

Next question:

Its 4AM and you are on your way home after a party. You are almost there when your misfortune leads you past the hangout of a neighborhood gang. They waste no time in surrounding and challenging you. They are bored and looking for trouble. Your only weapon is a pocket knife. How do you handle the situation?

 

[DJDamage]

http://www.metacafe.com/watch/29618/run_escape_jump/

 

[Alicorn]

Originally posted by NINJA PIMP
Its 4AM and you are on your way home after a party. You are almost there when your misfortune leads you past the hangout of a neighborhood gang. They waste no time in surrounding and challenging you. They are bored and looking for trouble. Your only weapon is a pocket knife. How do you handle the situation?

I cut the closest one and let the shark, which is still chasing me, eat them.

 

[manuva]

Originally posted by Alicorn
I cut the closest one and let the shark, which is still chasing me, eat them.

LMAO!

 

[ShizamDaMan]

If a gang of mean looking dudes surrounded me, I'd find the smallest one out of them, plow over him and run like hell to a main street or something.

It'd be different if it was one on one, or one on two even. But 6-7 on one pretty much equals a one sided ass whupping unless you're Bruce Lee.

 

[Wyldfire]

I'm not sure about the fall thing...but I'd try to protect my spinal cord as best as possible.

For a shark, you punch it really hard...gils, eyes, nose...just hit it over and over again. It should let go.

As for being surrounded by a gang...rather than run away I'd walk right up to them like I was looking for a friend, make up a name and ask them if they know where to find the person. You could also ask directions. Worst thing you can do is show fear and intimidation. Just act like they are anyone else and be friendly. Showing any kind of agression at all would be stupid because then they'll all jump your arse.

 

[diplomatic_lies]

Originally posted by NINJA PIMP
Its 4AM and you are on your way home after a party. You are almost there when your misfortune leads you past the hangout of a neighborhood gang. They waste no time in surrounding and challenging you. They are bored and looking for trouble. Your only weapon is a pocket knife. How do you handle the situation?

I'd pull down my pants, take my undies off, start masturbating, then while the gangsters are looking confused, knock one down and run away.

 

[NINJA PIMP]

Originally posted by diplomatic_lies
I'd pull down my pants, take my undies off, start masturbating, then while the gangsters are looking confused, knock one down and run away.

In your particular case, somehow this does not surprise me. In fact I am only suprised when you manage to post material that doesn't end up with you and your penis...doing things together. Thanks for sharing as usual. You know how much a bunch of heterosexual men want to hear about your pecker so I am sure we all look forward to the many, many future updates.

Anyways, thanks for all the insight guys. It's been enlightening. Now that I know how to kill sharks and leap tall buildings I think I am all set.

Mods feel free to close this thread.

Mods?

Why are you still reading this? Move along people, nothing to see here.

Don't piss me off b!tch, I drop a 10-foot shark off a 20-story building on that stupid grin of yours.

:trouble:

 

[Brian20o2]

Originally posted by diplomatic_lies
I'd pull down my pants, take my undies off, start masturbating, then while the gangsters are looking confused, knock one down and run away.

:crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup:

 

[BrotherAP]

Sharks expect you to be prey, which means that you pose no threat and should run away

Splashing like a fool just makes you look injured - in other words, an easy target. This would only encourage a shark, I imagine. Very insightful, however, that sharks are stalking predators. I don't know how to handle to sharks, but I do know how to handle another stalking predator - cats. With mountain lions, the best way to discourage them is to become aggressive. Move towards them, make noise, throw rocks, and act like you are a PREDATOR not PREY

I would do the same with the shark - as soon as I saw it, I'd start swimming straight for it with divers knife in hand, and engage it on my terms - knife in the first orifice I see, hands tearing at the gills. This is life or death, and your options are fight or flight - in this case, you can't get away so you have to fight. The shark would never expect prey to come attack it, so you'd have the advantage of surprise. Heck, it might even see you coming towards it and think "**** this!" and take off. That's what mountain lions do, anyway.

As for the guys, I'd run. And, if that happened to me on anything resembling a regular basis, I'd study the hell out of martial arts that way I could be like Bruce Lee.

 

[Unregistered]

You are scuba diving in the Caribbean with your girlfriend. Out of nowhere you see a shark speeding towards the both of you. You realize that you have no weapons and there is nowhere to hide. How do you defend yourself?

For once, I'd be praying to God that the bitch is on the rag.