Question for guys with LTR experience...

[strong like bull]

ive been in a LTR with a great girl for over 2 years. we dated for a year, then lived together for a year. wanting to buy a house in the very near future, we opted to not renew the lease on the apartment. i moved in with a buddy of mine. her, with her dad being very ill decided to move back in with family, to help them out for a few months. we had the option of living together at either place, but thought itd be best for her to stay with family to save $$$ and help out.

after moving in with my buddy, my feelings of my gf started to shift. i have a real nice setup in the house.. and can smell a bit of the scent of freedom again. i still love her but lately more and more ive had thoughts of the crazy kind of fun i had in my single days.

the icing on the cake is also - although ive always had interactions with pretty girls, some hitting on me.. i would always turn them down and not cross certain lines. i recently met a girl who really intrigues me. to the point of getting the idea, "what would i do if i was single right now?" obviously i wouldnt cheat on my gf, but lately ive found myself in certain situatious where i'm sort of walking the line.

so, is this normal? would this happen to any guy who after living with gf for a year, was reminded of the bachelor life? i'm 24, willing to settle down if the time was right, but just want to be happy in life either way.

-SLB

 

[TheCzar]

That feeling you're having right now will hit you on and off for the rest of your life. Your a guy and your instincts are hard-wired to make you want to break-free and be with as many women as possible.

The thing is though, you're asking here which makes me wonder if you're really 100% sold on your GF - most people know one way or the other. You have to ask yourself if deep inside there's something that wants 'out' regardless of the rationalization that freedom is luring you to go astray.

When I was in college I was once in an LTR for 3 years with a woman that I thought I might eventually get married too. She was a great woman, took good care of me, we did it all the time, treated me well, etc... etc... everything seemed great, except in year 3 I started realizing I wasn't having fun anymore with her. It wasnt that things were bad or we were fighting, I was actually getting bored and I started realizing that she was wayyyy to conservative for me - she had already hit 'settle down' mode and when I took that and projected it forward for the next 60 YEARS I realized I couldn't do it. In other words, it wasn't freedom lulling me away it's that I was giving up what was truly 'me', compromising stuff that was core to who I was. When you do that you'll regret it for life. It was a tough break-up and she took it really hard. In retrospect, I know did the right thing, she was a great woman but she wasnt the right great woman.

Food for thought...

TC

 

[AAAgent]

weigh out the pros and cons and see if you want to stay or not.

You could also opt for an open relationship.

For me i don't like to bs myself or anyone else. I would get my sh1t straightened out and then make a decision. Either stay with her or move on.

24 is young. buying a place a 24 is pretty darn good. No one can really help u with this decision, since it doesn't really involve any pick-up. There are so many things i want to do before i have a family and i know i would regret it if i never pursued them.

Help her through her tough times right now and once things settle down then break it down to her if you're going to. Don't add this stress onto what she's already dealing with because you won't get a logical response.