"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Question/FieldReport/Introduction [long]

Corlagon

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Well I'm new to these forums, but I've been reading the advice on the site and I must say I'm totally impressed. - So a bit about me, I'm 18 last year of High School. I'm not part of any of the groups in school seeing as I came into my current school two years ago which has sort of alienated me from the rest of my year. Not that I mind too much, especially because my relationship with them is friendly and polite, no one hates me or loves me, it's just polite.

Anywya, enough about me let me get to my report, seeing as I read the rules and all ^.¬

For the past month or so I've been tutoring some 10 year olds, mostly for school credit but also because I love kids, I guess the romance thing started when I met one of the kid's sisters. Now granted I put in my head that I would swear off girls for the time I was studying here, I really put this girl into my head and want to get to know her.

The biggest problem is she's 14 - I'm 18. So theoretically, by both Italian Law (since I'm italian) and by simple school delimitation I can date her, and even have sex with her. I'm not a pervert in the least, usually I go for girls my age or maybe one, at most two years younger. But this girl looks much, much older - in fact I was surprised when her brother told me how old she was. I expected her to be sixteen at the very least.

Never the less the age difference didn't stop me, now for the past two weeks I've volunteered to serve as my school's librarian seeing as no one's here and kids are begging (go figure) to be let into the library to read (more likely do their homework). Needless to say, she's one of the girls that comes in to read mystery novels. Personally I'm more of a fantasy reader, but that's beside the point. We usually chit-chat when she takes out books, and one day that she didn't come to take anything out but simply sat down at a table, I came up to her and we talked about the holiday we had.

She told me she had been in Genova to compete in a basketball tournament with her classmates, in the school's all girl basketball team. Personally I don't do any sports (I go to the gym to keep fit) so I really didn't know what to ask. Still, I made conversation, asking her what possition she was in and what the score was at the end of the game. More importantly if she won or not. From that, the next day the conversation became movies, and she told me she had just seen '40 Year old Virgin' however, due to the fact that the Odeon (the biggest movie theatre here in Milan) doesn't show english movies anymore, she had to see it in Italian.

From that point on I had the idea of finding movie theaters in Milan that show english movies. I found three, and I made small adventurous excursions to locate them. As in I found out the street, phoned them to see how to get there, wrote down the bus numbers and memorised by heart how to get there. Which cost me three afternoons of my week. Anyway, I see her again later that week, and I say "Hey Courtney, how's it going?" after her usual smile and giving me a brief summary of her day thus far I ask "I found the answers to our prayers, three movie theaters that show blockbusters. One of them on Mondays, the other Tuesdays and the last on Thursdays. Do you wanna go?" So she thinks about it and says "Sure but I can't on Monday because I have **** (I acctually forgot what she said) nor Tuesday because I have *** (I had a bad memory for these things) but I'm free on Thursday." So I flash a smile and say "Alright then, Thursday it is. Tell me tomorrow to see if you can make it."

So I was content, you know I got a yes basically. Come Tuesday, (since it was monday when I asked) she tells me "I'm really sorry, but I can't this thurday. I forgot that my brother has Drama Class until five" At that moment I felt I was being lied to, I don't know why but I always tend to take NOs and their reasons as bs. But anyway I'll continue. I look at her and say "Hmm... the movie starts at 5:40, but it's gonna be tight since it takes about half an hour to get there from here. The next showing is at 7." So she says "No... that might be too late for me." There's like, a small akward silence of a few moments, so I say "Alright then, another time then." And she hesitates as if to say something but leaves. I didn't read much into it, so I carried my week out normally as any other week. Though I did look into the Drama thing, and the following Friday when I tutored her brother, I asked him about Drama, and he confirmed that yes. He did have drama that thursday, and that it finished at five. I said to myself 'Hmm... it was the truth, maybe she did want to go but couldn't.'

I didn't say anything to her though, and the chit chat sort of diminished during that week. Until the following monday when she came back to the library. Now, over the weekend I found out from a friend of mine that there was an Anime Convention, which basically means - lots of cosplaying, mangas, dvds, hentai, action figures, posters. The works, so I figure what the hell. - On monday, I ask "Courtney, you like Anime?" she says "Yeah" it wasn't the answer I was expecting, acctually I expected something like "What's that?" or some other kind of no. But when she sais yes I didn't hesitate and just said. "There's an anime convention next weekend, feel like coming with me?" And she said "Yes." Just like that, not sure or ok or anything like that. So I add "Tell me tomorrow or Wednsday if you can come or not".

Tuesday, she tells me "I don't think I'll be able to next Saturday since there's a Traffic Ban (Basically since Milan is like the New York of Italy there's a ton of air polution, so the state issues a traffic ban every two weeks in order to clean up the air for a day. Ineffective but whatever.) So I go "Alright, what about Sunday?" Since the fair was both days, and I did tell her 'this weekend' so anyway she goes "Sunday I think I can get free". I checked if the traffic ban story was true or not, asking my friends, checking the net as well as my parents. And they all told me no, that usually all traffic bans are sundays, and due to the rain (Since we've been having some lately) will probably clean it enough where the government will cancel it. I had to talk to her, but I couldn't see her during the week due to our scheduel, and due to the fact that the library was closed for restocking.

Now the problem is, today - friday I steal her away from her friends and ask her "So are we still ok for Sunday?" And she sais "Well I don't know... I think my parents might have plans." I tell her "There's no traffic ban this saturday, I think you were misinformed. If there's a traffic ban it'll probably be sunday" She didn't get a chance to answer since the bell rang and she had to get to class - and I tell her as she's rushing "Talk to me later!". Now, during lunch her brother comes into the library to talk to me about his own puppy love (go figure) and I ask him. "Hey Taylor, what is your family doing this weekend?" he says "Nothing really, I think a friend of my dad's is comming saturday. But that's it." Armed with this new information, when I see COurtney again she says "I don't think I'll be able to this saturday because there's people coming over." At that stage, I didn't even bother to re-ask about sunday. Seeing as even a traffic ban won't stop us from taking the subway. Which always works. But at that point she says "I'm sorry" and I just smiled and said "It's totally fine."

I know that after two rejections a guy should take a hint and stop trying. But I'm having a hard time doing so. What should I do? Should I wait until it cools down, and tell her next monday or tuesday what a blast it was and too bad she didn't come, or should I start searching for something else to do?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Morphiex

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dude shes FOURTEEN!!!! get the hell off , it might be oki in italy but in the states and everywhere else i think its not allowed , and for what reason would u be interested in a 14 year old ? shes basicly just a kid while your a effing adult , now u might think u have a crush on her or feel attracted , well attraction can wear off as fast as it can happen , same with crushes..
What your doing is called cradle robbing , its might be oki for a 18 year old to date a late 15 year old cuz then shes atleast experianced and understood certain things in her life , but a 14 year old is waaay to young.. find a girl closer to your own age , and stop trying to get below 16 year olds , you could have dated her when you were 15 but not when your 18....
 

PocketGnome

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Morphiex said:
dude shes FOURTEEN!!!! get the hell off , it might be oki in italy but in the states and everywhere else i think its not allowed , and for what reason would u be interested in a 14 year old ? shes basicly just a kid while your a effing adult , now u might think u have a crush on her or feel attracted , well attraction can wear off as fast as it can happen , same with crushes..
What your doing is called cradle robbing , its might be oki for a 18 year old to date a late 15 year old cuz then shes atleast experianced and understood certain things in her life , but a 14 year old is waaay to young.. find a girl closer to your own age , and stop trying to get below 16 year olds , you could have dated her when you were 15 but not when your 18....



Dude, this guy doesn't know what he's talking about. The only thing restricted by age is sex. That's it. As life goes on, age doesn't become such a thing anyway.

If you like the girl, then you like her. Talk to her more. You don't have to have a relationship yet, but get to know her.
 

Corlagon

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Woah heh ^^;; Morphiex I don't think you read my whole post there man. I explained why I'm interested, and I didn't even know her age. Besides, what is age if only a state of mind? - The legal sex age in Italy is 14 so if it does come to that (probably won't) but if it did I couldn't be sued for statutory rape. So calm down ^^;; That's not even the point of my post. I would have gladly dated her before, but the problem is... like I said, if you had read the whole way through, I only came in a year and a half ago.
 
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