"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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question and suggestions

Bodiddley85

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hey guys im new to the forum, and i've been reading the posts here.
i've got a situation with a girl im talking to and i'd like some advice..i'll try to make this as short as possible :D

basically it starts with this girl who works at a gym, exotic, outgoing, intelligent. she's also got a kid, one thing that's made me cautious..anyways she started working at the gym about 3 months ago..within 2 weeks i approached her, gave her a small compliment and got her to open up and laugh. the interest was defientaley high by the time i came over to her and talk the second time..i told her i'd be going to the movies and stated she could join if she wanted. without me asking she said sure and gave me her number. i wait 3-4 days and call her. no answer, leave message..she texts back the next day "hey!!! i got your message and i'll be off on "--" day and "---" day, but my sons b-day is on "--"...so, i let her know i'll plan something for her other off day, again she hits me with "i can't find anybody to babysit"..fine with me...i let her know we'll get together the next time she's availabe....it's now been over a week and no call or text. note i have seen her in the gym since, and she had been working damn near EVERY day, but it seems if she was interested in going out then a call wouldn't be too hard...she also flirts with other guys in there, nothing that bothers me, as her friends have also shown interest in me and im talking to toher girls..this past thurs, i saw her in the gym and when i walk in she says "o i've been so busy this whole week!" i simply said, "ok", granbbed my towel and walked in...she looked stunned..when i left she actually grabbed my attention from off my phone to cheese super hard and say bye...i haven't seen her since...at this point i think i've played it pretty cool and didn't over-do anything...i need some suggestions on what i should do, if anything..or just move on..anything is aprreciated, thanks.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Deniska

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take her and the kid to the movies. Go see some Disney movie just the three of you, that will score huge brownie points for you. Or take her and her kid to a park where there other kids, big points for you as well.

But dont baby sit her kid. And if its not too late, attend her kids b-day party.

And keep playing cool.

And when you do spend time with her and her kid, make sure to pay more attention to her kid then her. Big brownie points as well for you.

When you do spend time with just her, talking, get to know her kid, ask questions, show interest in her kid.
 

Bodiddley85

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he just turned 1...kinda rules out the taking him out thing
but i am thinking about showing more interest in her son
good looks tho
 

Deniska

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Im being serious about this, and this will be highly beneficial to you down the road and i think you will find it interesting as well for your personal knowledge.

Read a book, or internet sites about child development between ages 1 and 3. You'de be highly surprised how much you will learn and interesting it is to know how a childs brain works. You can use that new knowledge when you talk to her. This will score you more brownie points.

Ok, so you missed his b-day, thats fine. Take the two of them out for ice cream for his belated b-day or pancakes at IHOP.

The way to her heart and in to her pants, is through her kid. It works like magic.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Allurre

Master Don Juan
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Just move on. If she continues flaking, or is TOO BUSY for you, the pursue other women. She'll eventually catch up and free up her own time. Remember, she's a busy mom! not recommended unless you're up for extra baggage and child care spirits.
 

Bodiddley85

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thanks for the feedback...
yea im thinking about doing that, looks as if shes got alot on her plate now
 
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