"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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question about workplace behavior

R

rocco

Senior Don Juan
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i got a new job. my dad's been telling me to always say "hi" and try to strike up a conversation with everyone. i was like "whatever." my mindset going to work is, that i'm going to go there, do a good job, and go home. My life belongs outside of the workplace, and I would like to keep the socializing in the office at the minimum.

it seems like some of the people at the office, love to socialize. it just seems so FAKE. their obviously socializing to get ahead in their positions, imho.

here's the problem. there are some catty behavior going around, and i don't want to be singled out. i'm trying to stay away from the office drama. what's the best way of staying out of the office drama?

my goal at work is to get my work done, get paid and leave a happy man everyday. and hopefully get promoted for doing well at what i do at work in the future.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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R

reset

Master Don Juan
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You'll figure it out once you get to know everyone. Pretty soon you'll feel comfortable around all these people. Just be yourself, be a cool dude, you'll get to know your co-workers better. Just keep it real.

Office drama? That's hard to avoid. This is how people bond, through gossip and crap like that. It's not really something you can get around, but you can just make sure you don't say anything you'd be embarassed for someone else to repeat. If you do that, you should be fine.

Be yourself, do a good job... this is what's known as a "non-issue".
 
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