"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Question about successful LTR's

iqqi

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Rollo Tomassi said:
And I'm saying, you wont have an LTR without sex. I assume POTATO is presently ƒucking his GF on a regular basis. Would this still be the case were she to permanently stop doing so? Again, I'm not trying to de-emphasize the other aspects, I'm pointing out that sex is the dealbreaker. The difference between a good friend and a lover is that you're having sex with the lover. That's the difference between a best friend and an LTR. The OP was what made for a "successful" LTR.
Yeah, but I guess they were going off of what you SAID, not what you meant. Noone is going to dispute that sex is important in a LTR. :rolleyes:



Rollo Tomassi said:
God, that reads so poetic coming from a girl who started a thread regarding her frustrations about having one of her girlfriends c0ckblock her with a guy she was really wanting to ƒuck at a bar one night.
Hmmm... I don't think that is what that particular thread was about. But good one :up: , referencing something that has nothing to do with the topic of hand, just to incite I dunno... anger, defensiveness? It also helps that you twisted it and added your own little spin as well... :down:

Way to go, Mod. :cool:
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Señor Fingers

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Rollo Tomassi said:
Say that sex is the lynchpin of an LTR and you're "shallow", but play up the esoteric and you're a philosopher.
Agreed.

Now before anything let me say that I respect your opinion, Rollo.. in fact I have several of your posts bookmarked for inspiration. But you do have a tendency to provide very black and white advice (ALWAYS do this and NEVER do that)

I find it just a bit ironic that someone with such "Iron Rules" bends his own opinion in the span of one thread.

First is the extremist view:

To answer your other question, it's sex first then friendship.
Then you bend:

And I'm saying, you wont have an LTR without sex.
I'm not attacking you at all, just pointing out a small inconsistency.

This is definitely a charged subject, so I understand the emotions involved, but lets have this dialogue as adults, shall we?

(That goes for all of you flame-baiters too)
 

Sandow

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Rollo Tomassi said:
If you encountered a woman who fit every ideal you ever had for a relationship - best friend, loving, 100% loyal, excellent mother, came from a great family, perfect HB 10, healthy both mentally and physically - who loved you unconditionally and wanted to marry you, but with one caveat; she would NEVER have sex with you under any circumstances, would you marry her? You could have children together through insemination and she would be platonically affectionate with you, knowing full well before you did and pledging to be completely faithful yourself, would you spend the rest of your life in a completely sexless marriage with an otherwise ideal woman?
Only an AFC would do such a thing
 

potato

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I think that Rollo has it backwards. From my point of view I have sex with my girlfriend, or pretty much with every woman that I’ve had sex with because we have a relationship – not the other way around.

With the mother of my children we had very good sex, often two or more times a day up until the day we split up. The sex was never enough to make up for underlying incompatibility issues. With my current girlfriend a couple of years ago we broke up. During our breakup I carried on and was having sex with other women. What ultimately led me back to my girlfriend was the realization that the connection that we had, that understanding of each other was what mattered most, it’s an understanding that you don’t find everyday.

We have an agreed to open relationship that in practice is more of a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy. We came to the agreement after realizing that the magic or whatever it is that is between us is more important to us than whatever sexual desires we might have.

Rollo Tomassi said:
I assume POTATO is presently ƒucking his GF on a regular basis. Would this still be the case were she to permanently stop doing so.
If, for instance, she were to become paralyzed, I wouldn’t abandon her.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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