Question about mens emotions

[backbreaker]

I was sitting on my couch this evening and from nowhere, I started thinking about one of my friends who is scared his Girlfiriend is cheating on him. I can go on and one but that's not the point.

Me thinking about this bought up a point that I would like to get a different prespective on.

My prespective on women and relationships, is that it's a proven fact that ALL men will break up with 99% of the women that they meet (and in some cases 100%). Since this is proven, why do so many men become heartbroken like they didn't expect it to happend, when it's an odds-on faviorate. Wouldn't it be wiser to prepare beforehand on how you and a women will split, rather than think about how you are going to marry every woman you lay eyes on? I am not saying that you downgrade every woman, but be realistic.

For instance, there is a women I am seeing now. She is attractive and smart, everything I like in a woman, but she whines to much for my liking, and is an attention hog. She is also a little to care-free with her spending habits for my liking.

What I am saying is that even though she is a great woman and I honestly could see a situatation where I settle down with her, wouldn't it be wiser to say "Hey, If me and her break up, it's going to be because she wines to much, or becuase I stopped returning her calls since she calls every day. Because I might lag in giving her the attention she craves, she might seek other men."

 

[BobbDobbs]

Because men fall in love too -- illogical as it may make them.

 

[backbreaker]

But it just doesn't make logical sense... It's like throwing an elephant the atlantic ocean and crying becasue it drowned.. The odds were drastically against you that it would drown, so why is it some sort of suprise?

 

[BobbDobbs]

Emotional responses are rooted in what it took humans in the "wild" 100,000 years ago to survive. Somebody had to bring up baby -- so you optimized that by hanging around with the mate for a few years -- love.

 

[Lone_raider]

Sounds like BobbDobbs has it. It's some sort of built in emotion/reaction that must have served some kind of purpose. Maybe if the man felt a requirement to stay for a while (love) he would provide much needed food and protection for the mother and baby. After a while when the baby was a little older and the mother fuly recovered he probably lost the attachment and moved on. Remember biological winners are the ones who reproduce the most with multiple partners thus securing their genes survival. So perhaps that's the built in response, love makes us hang around for a while, then we get bored and want something else because nature drives us to produce as many times as possible.

So how's that, love is just a chemical reaction built in over thousands of years of evolution to serve as a means for an offsprings survival? Kind of makes it seem stupid and simplistic now doesn't it lol.

 

[STR8UP]

I hear ya loud and clear.

Too many times us men make the mistake of hooking them and forgetting about the necessary upkeep involved in keeping them around. We become complacent and take for granted that you will both be satisfied enough to keep things together. Then when the sh!t hits the fan we're left dumbfounded.

I'm thinking a healthy dose of pessimism is healthy in every relationship. Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.

 

[backbreaker]

Actually you make a great point. I think however, that the reason has a little more to do with modern technology, more so the Television than anything else. Besides Romeo, you don't imagine men in the Romonasque era "***** whipped". I personally believe that all this happened around the 1970's, when women started to get equal rights and came up with the fact that they were somehow equal to men. somewhere after marlyn Monroe and before Pamala Anderson, after james bond and before Justin Timberlake and right around the time Teen bands took over, guys started to have a "I am love" attitude with everywoman they meet. Look at the popular TV shows now. Take Friends.. You have 3 pretty much losers, 1 dork likes a pretty girl but doestn' have the balls to tell her how he really feels, so he just puts her on a pedistal and goes with whatever she is feeling for the day. Another guy, who has nothing going for himself, lucked out and married a babe. What does this tell the aveage 15 year old sitting at home? 2 things. If you have never dated before, you get two impressions: 1) (Ross) is how a guy should act towards a beatuiful girl, give her space, go with whatever she is feeling and 2) (Chandler) If I decent job, take decent care of my self, I can live a decent life. Nice wife, middle income, you know, true medoricy (although I think personally think Courtney Cox is the best looking one of the three women).

What is even funnier is when you watch, say James Bond, the first thing you hear is "that is not real, no man is that smooth/good looking". It is drilled into our heads so much that you actually believe it. Take away the Cars and the stunts, what do you have? A good looking middle aged man with a british accent who has charm. That's it. What's so hard to belive about a man actually knowing when to say the right things to people, espically women, and knowing how to provoke certain responses out of certatin people?

The way I see it, more people are james bond and don't even know it because they are in what I call a "boy band world".

Think about this? If you put James Bond in a real live situtation.. If he was at a bar now, would he be approached by nice women? Yes. Because he stands out. He knows how to dress himself, and he does so in a manner that puts him a step above the compitutation. Something this is repeated over and over and over in the DJ bible. Because you get alot of women giving you attention, your confidence is pretty high. you know you have the goods so to speak, therefore you are not afrait to speak your mind. Therefore you have the balls to tell a women ," hey, do you mind if we get out of here".

Back to the point, love is a beatuiful thing, but I think most men are programmed that love is the ONLY thing that matters; therefore that is the only thing we strive for. We look for it when it is not there. We make ourseleves believe that this is "the one". We buy in the TV hype of pretty women and "this is what you have to have to be a sucessful person, otherwise you are a failure". All in all, I believe that most men are doomed from the start without a chance.

 

[apollon_312]

you're trying to give a purpose or a logical reason to emotions.. emotions are just part of our packaging, and usually just a response to some event.. or rather a response felt in your body, instead of in your head (a thought).

you ask why people get upset about breaking up.. and why they keep going thru the same cycle..

welcome to the cycle of existence.. yeah sure, its logical and all not to get upset, and to expect pain and suffering in life. even death is certain.. but on another level, everybody fears or has an aversion to these things, and thinks "maybe this time it will be different".. "maybe this is IT". It seems like that when you get infatuated with a new goddess (well for the first 2 weeks anyway)... but as you hinted, all good things must come to an end.

Without an ending, there can be no new starts!

I liked your idea that 100% of men end up leaving their partner.. that really gives for some thought.