Question about how "safe" is safe?

[NotoriousBIP]

I am a virgin. Never even had a gf until a couple of months ago and im 25years old. About 4 years ago I used to come here and read this site every day, but I stopped coming here after about a year. Even though I didnt really do anything at that point, this site set things in motion for me and I absorbed an incredible amount of information during that time. All things worked out eventually for me and a few months ago I met a great girl who is fairly close to what I was really looking for and we started a relationship right away. Since the second I met her I have been using concepts that I learned long ago at this site. 4 years ago, I never thought I would ever in my life have a woman like this as interested and attracted as this one is right now. She is pretty crazy over me and its almost an obsession. I am really happy that I found her and I realize that this is my first gf so I dont know how long she will last, but for as long as I have her I am glad that she came along. We still have not had sex yet though but she has been talking about it the past few days. She claims to be a virgin as well like me (dont know if i believe her, but she acts like a virgin) and she claims that she had been saving it for marriage. But now she very badly wants to fcuk me so we are gonna get to it. We have done other stuff though like I have been fingering her to orgasm since early in the relationship. Thing is, I feel pretty strongly about the whole "if your not ready for a kid then your not ready for sex" thing. I dont feel strongly enough about it to not have sex now, but I feel strongly enough to be concerned and be careful. I think that I am still at least a few years away from being in a situation where I would be OK if I got a girl preggers. Now obviously I know that everyone has sex and its not a big deal these days if you just use protection you dont have to worry about it. And I know the pill is OK but my girl isnt gonna be going on the pill right now. I know condoms generally are good enough but I still know plenty of people who have had kids before they wanted them, and I assume that at least some of those people used a condom. So I would just like to know really if a condom is safe enough at this point? Should I be worried at all, as long as I use a condom w/ spermacide or whatever should I be the slightest bit hesitant or can I just forget about it and go?
Thanks for putting up with this long story, much of it not related to my question, but I wanted to express my thanks to the DJ community because this really gave me a good foundation.

 

[oakraiderz2]

The people you know who had kids before they wanted most likely wasnt a result of a malfunctioned condom. At 25, i assume that a certain amount of knowledge has been attained. If youre really as afraid as it seems you are, dont do anything unless you plan on waiting until marriage; however, even then youll have sex before youre ready to have children. Gather more information, google your questions and make a decision.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I hate to scare you, because too much fear is not healthy and you have plenty already, but yes, pregnancy is possible even with precautions. Babies happen. My own gf got pregnant years ago, and later miscarried, but she was using a condom and the pill. Penkitten has posted that she was on the pill when she conceived most or all of her kids. Like I said, babies happen.

fwiw, I have been having regular sex without a condom while in whatever LTR I was in with girls on birth control since I was 16, and I have never knocked a chick up. I would suggest putting your girl on some sort of birth control. The pill, the shot, and the nuva are the methods girls of mine have been on.

edit: you're welcome. also, I know you'll use a condom with it, but fwiw one of my gf's friends has a kid she got from trying to use spermicide w/o a condom. By itself, the stuff is lousy birth control.

 

[NotoriousBIP]

Thanks for the replies guys
I know that they happen and I know that nothing is 100% but I just want to know how safe it is just to use a condom w/ spermacidal. Im gonna look around some more and see what I can figure out. But like I said Im not worried enough about it to not have sex....but I am worried enough to try to do my homework before I do anything with her.

 

[trv26]

Jst go for it dude. U might come to regret it in the future if u don't do it. Use the condom with spermicide, and if ur still fearful ask her to take the morning after pill. Sorted!!

 

[Kerpal]

You could always get a vasectomy if you're really worried.

 

[phooey73]

"With proper knowledge and application technique—and use at every act of intercourse—users of male condoms experience a 2% per-year pregnancy rate."
(Wikipedia)

Essentially a 98% effectiveness rate.

 

[DJDamage]

Thanks for the replies guys
I know that they happen and I know that nothing is 100% but I just want to know how safe it is just to use a condom w/ spermacidal. Im gonna look around some more and see what I can figure out. But like I said Im not worried enough about it to not have sex....but I am worried enough to try to do my homework before I do anything with her.

Spermacidal are not really effective because if the condom breaks at the tip then you will just shoot your load into her. Also you can't fvck twice if you use spermacidal because it could be too toxic for her vagina.

If you are really concerned here is what you should do to diminish your chances:

1) get a good strong reliable brand of condom.

2) When you fvck her don't blow the load inside of her but pull out before you cvm. This way even if there is a tear in the Condom, majority of your semen will never go inside of her.

3) after you pull out, check for leaks or breaks, if you notice that there are then go to the drug store with her and get the morning after pill. I suggest you even go prior to having sex to actually getting the pill so you will be prepared on the spot instead of running around and panicking.

Also try not to think about it when you fvck her because its stuff like this that will cause you performance anxiety and you won't even get a hard on.

 

[NotoriousBIP]

Also try not to think about it when you fvck her because its stuff like this that will cause you performance anxiety and you won't even get a hard on.

OK thanks you gave good tips DJ Damage and yes this ^ is also something that Im concerned about even if right now I know not to think about stuff like that, when Im actually getting ready to do it that might be a different story so I hope everything works out. Thanks everybody for the help.

 

[Sir-M]

Chances of pregnancy if you are using a condom are pretty slim. but things do happen, so its nice to be prepared for everything, but too much fear will hurt you as DJDamage has put it, go on have a good time.. i know you will be **** scared after wards but you will soon get the hang of things. and once you get too used to the system, it will get quite common to throw caution to the wind when things get quite heated up... or to make things easier.. you could study her Menstrual cycle.. and fvck her when you are sure she cant get pregnant... anyways.. happy hunting lil fella

 

[DonGorgon]

Go learn everything about human reproduction (and how to avoid it)... and only F girls who 100% believe in abortion..

 

[BadsnakeUK]

Get a decent, strong brand of condom - none of these super sensitive "You're-a-daddy" brands. Most importantly, learn to put it on and take it off properly. If you're that worried, practice on your own to make damn sure you've got it right.

My tip for the day: make sure you squeeze the air out of the teat at the top of the condom before you put it on. Leaving air on there is one of the biggest reasons for them breaking, slipping off etc.

This thread reminds me of a married woman I f*cked a while ago. There was a three inch split in the condom which I only noticed afterwards. Morning after pills all round!!!