I have used dating sites online for awhile now and almost every single girl I emailed never is interested in me. Is this just a trend that happens alot on those sites...or should I just accept the fact that maybe I am an ugly duckling?
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Question about dating sites
- Thread starter newkenman
- Start date
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Most of the women you are interested in are probably hot. Don't kid yourself, they're either getting 50-100 messages a day, or they're just fake profiles, set up as some sort of gag.
I mean, is this girl, the one in the picture, seriously looking to meet some guy she found online? I mean, really. This is either set up by some guy doing an experiment, or she's just posting pics to see how many hits she gets for an ego boost.
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member3517244.htm#in
EDIT: Or this one? Gimme a break.
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member4118646.htm#in
Okay, this one I believe:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member4425081.htm#in
I mean, is this girl, the one in the picture, seriously looking to meet some guy she found online? I mean, really. This is either set up by some guy doing an experiment, or she's just posting pics to see how many hits she gets for an ego boost.
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member3517244.htm#in
EDIT: Or this one? Gimme a break.
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member4118646.htm#in
Okay, this one I believe:
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member4425081.htm#in
Well, I could post a picture of Angelina Jolie, and few dozen people would here say the same. In fact, they would call her a '6', and point out how they routinely see far hotter girls.
(They do have a hotornot vote system built in that site, and everyone there seems to disagree with your taste.)
You realize, of course, that this second profile is from an 18 year old model who's having trouble finding an 18-35 year old man, and it's entitled "Real Men Eat P?ssy". I'm quite a bit skeptical about that title.
Last edited:
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
jrodbendi
Don Juan
Look up Dave M on google--I have heard great things about his internet dating system
miniPIMPIN
Banned
umm well usee, im only 15 and i kno im not supposed to be in grown folks business or whatever but heres my opinion
dating sites are lame.... read the dj bible and go out and get a girl in real life.
cmon now guys... dont make it seem like dating sites are normal to this guy.
WHAT HAS THIS SITE TURNED INTO?? LOL
dating sites are lame.... read the dj bible and go out and get a girl in real life.
cmon now guys... dont make it seem like dating sites are normal to this guy.
WHAT HAS THIS SITE TURNED INTO?? LOL
Mr.Positive
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2007
- Messages
- 1,855
- Reaction score
- 99
I agree 100%. Online dating seems to be the worst way to meet women, IMO. I've never put much effort into it, so I could be wrong, but it seems that that women have the upper hand.miniPIMPIN said:
If they are relatively decent looking, they must get 100 responses, just as Phyzzle pointed out.
This makes her the prize. Her ego then skyrockets through the roof, and she becomes a princess instantly.
Then, you must qualify yourself to her. You must 'stand out' from everyone else, so how do you do this? Follow all the advise and come up with a witty response? Throw a little C&F in the email, or maybe a neg hit?
I just don't get it....all for a chick that you don't know, that could be a total b!tch in real life, or completely different from some stupid picture that could be photoshopped, edited, modified, to make her look great.
For me, give me a cold approach any day. At least with a cold approach, you get to see her in person. You can read her body language. You can force her to focus on you..your personality...you, in the flesh and blood.
I think for the recovering AFC, the best thing to do is not try internet dating. Force yourself to overcome your anxiety and meet people in real life. That's the advise I think we should be giving people.
So..I'm going to boycott online dating. I won't do it. I'll invite you to join me. If one person stops, that lowers a HB internet ad response from 100 to 99. If if keeps going, maybe we'll get the responses down to 10, or 5..or maybe, even 0.
Then, we can even the playing field again...and get those HB's off their lazy asses, sitting in front of a computer vying for attention, and get them out in real life where we want to meet them in person!
I tried out the internet dating thing for the first time about a week ago.
All the girls are neurotic. Every girl I talked to had some sort of issue that made them not really girlfriend material. It's good if you just REALLY need a handjob soon, but that's about as far as the good came of it.
It's cool for a confidence boost or a few quick, easy dates. but I couldn't see myself seriously dating any of these girls.
I didn't use a dating site though. I just posted something on craigslist. It's free and they have to contact you, not vice versa.
I'm just going to stick to meeting real people in the real world.
All the girls are neurotic. Every girl I talked to had some sort of issue that made them not really girlfriend material. It's good if you just REALLY need a handjob soon, but that's about as far as the good came of it.
It's cool for a confidence boost or a few quick, easy dates. but I couldn't see myself seriously dating any of these girls.
I didn't use a dating site though. I just posted something on craigslist. It's free and they have to contact you, not vice versa.
I'm just going to stick to meeting real people in the real world.
Luke Skywalker
Banned
- Joined
- May 23, 2006
- Messages
- 2,434
- Reaction score
- 11
I've put in a considerable amount of investment into it such as:
- getting my online pics professionally done.
- buying net2bed-net2web system and reviewing it's concept.
All costing me so far around $ 300.00, and so far it hasn't really gotten me anywhere.
It's so bad that I'm in the process of getting a partial refund on the photos and possibly a refund on the other program since neither one of them seems to be working.
The idea was to turn the tables where I would be the prize or increase my value.
The problem with online dating is unless you are a white/black muscular stud and you are ripped and you take photos, or have one where people can connect with you (i.e. warmth and love in the photo or something) you are not going to get the response that's going to equal what the girls are getting that you are emailing to. (i.e. a ladies inbox may have lots of emails every day of guys who want to date them, while your inbox is always empty even after sending replies, so they are the prize, and when that happens you always lose)
You have to have an exceptional photo and a stand-out profile in order to have a chance. Most people for example want to see that you have a sence of humour and can make them laugh, so I guess that has to be conveyed in the profile in some way. (that's my own rendition, not net2bed)
Sites I have tried recently are plentyoffish and lavalife. Results are all quite dismal. I am getting replies, but maybe like 1 in 5 or 1 and 10 of girls I may be 'attracted' to may reply back.
On lavalife - where I have to pay to send messages, I have been more reluctant to throw away money with the hopes of getting a reply (but you can send smileys for free).
I'm starting to try match.com and but you have to buy a subscription to even read any emails in your inbox which I find a bit wierd.
- getting my online pics professionally done.
- buying net2bed-net2web system and reviewing it's concept.
All costing me so far around $ 300.00, and so far it hasn't really gotten me anywhere.
It's so bad that I'm in the process of getting a partial refund on the photos and possibly a refund on the other program since neither one of them seems to be working.
The idea was to turn the tables where I would be the prize or increase my value.
The problem with online dating is unless you are a white/black muscular stud and you are ripped and you take photos, or have one where people can connect with you (i.e. warmth and love in the photo or something) you are not going to get the response that's going to equal what the girls are getting that you are emailing to. (i.e. a ladies inbox may have lots of emails every day of guys who want to date them, while your inbox is always empty even after sending replies, so they are the prize, and when that happens you always lose)
You have to have an exceptional photo and a stand-out profile in order to have a chance. Most people for example want to see that you have a sence of humour and can make them laugh, so I guess that has to be conveyed in the profile in some way. (that's my own rendition, not net2bed)
Sites I have tried recently are plentyoffish and lavalife. Results are all quite dismal. I am getting replies, but maybe like 1 in 5 or 1 and 10 of girls I may be 'attracted' to may reply back.
On lavalife - where I have to pay to send messages, I have been more reluctant to throw away money with the hopes of getting a reply (but you can send smileys for free).
I'm starting to try match.com and but you have to buy a subscription to even read any emails in your inbox which I find a bit wierd.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
"Mia" writes like she's suffered some serious brain damage.
Third one looks interesting. Guess it's the tarantula.
Third one looks interesting. Guess it's the tarantula.
From what I hear, that's not a bad %, especially considering the hot ones get dozens of messages per day. Message subject line, profile pic, and profile headline are key.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
Anyone tried myspace groups? At least it's free.
I have never tried online dating, and honestly, I agree with the kid about finding a girl the old fashion way.
However, after talking to a lot of people, it seems that these sites are used by a lot of normal women. Both of my neighbors use them, and they're both hotties, although they are 30 years old and borderline desperate, or at least you can hear their biological clock ticking from ten miles away. (They manage to complain about the lack of boyfriend AND being hit on too much in the same conversation, it's very amusing).
Around the office, 4 of 5 women in my department have used a dating site at one point, and the one who said no did not have the internet, but said all of her friends have used it at some point. They're all relatively attractive and normal people.
However, after talking to a lot of people, it seems that these sites are used by a lot of normal women. Both of my neighbors use them, and they're both hotties, although they are 30 years old and borderline desperate, or at least you can hear their biological clock ticking from ten miles away. (They manage to complain about the lack of boyfriend AND being hit on too much in the same conversation, it's very amusing).
Around the office, 4 of 5 women in my department have used a dating site at one point, and the one who said no did not have the internet, but said all of her friends have used it at some point. They're all relatively attractive and normal people.
I read a study that the majority of men who contact women on dating sights don't get even a single contact from a girl. So yeah, for MOST men, online dating sites are a waste of time and money. However, I know guys that have met girlfriends/wives through dating sites. For them, it was the best $25 they ever spent. All you can do is put up the best pic possible, put some effort into writing a great profile and roll the dice. I've met a few girls online and got laid, but I didn't really like them, it was just to get laid. Sometimes I'll run across a girl who has a particularly articulate profile and I read it and I'm like "damn, me and this girl are totally on the same wavelength as hard as that is to find." Well, these girls never reply back. Oddly, it seems like the more I have in common with a girl, the less likely I am to get a response back....really weird.
ps - Mia is pretty damn cute, just my type, but the problem is, there are no body shots. She could look like a humpback whale below the neck, and you can't always judge a girl's weight by looking at her face. Chics with nice bodies usually have at least one full picture of themselves. When they have 4 or 5 pics all showing nothing below the neck, I get suspicious.
ps - Mia is pretty damn cute, just my type, but the problem is, there are no body shots. She could look like a humpback whale below the neck, and you can't always judge a girl's weight by looking at her face. Chics with nice bodies usually have at least one full picture of themselves. When they have 4 or 5 pics all showing nothing below the neck, I get suspicious.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
What do you say in the email?newkenman said:
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
ModernSavage
Don Juan
I think online dating can be successful if you go about it the right way. The main trick is to really set yourself apart from the 100s of other guys that these women are getting messages from. Seriously, if you don't have something really unique then there is little chance for success. I've done experiments with this and eventually developed something that got a good response rate.
I wrote a quick breakdown of my method in the post:
How I Number Closed on Craigslist
I haven't tried it on any other dating sites yet but am pretty sure it'll work as well across the board.
The key points are:
If you work on a good system using basic seduction techniques, you could probably clean up online. The big problem is that it is time consuming. You'll waste more time emailing girls back and forth for a few dates, that it's probably not worth the effort. You're much better off using that time to go and meet women in person. This way you can screen them more efficiently, you don't waste time with ones that will reject you and if you do click with one you can escalate a heck of a lot faster.
For me, online date is limited to the times when I can't go into the field, like when I'm home sick for instance.
Hope that helped.
Good Skills,
-Savage
I wrote a quick breakdown of my method in the post:
How I Number Closed on Craigslist
I haven't tried it on any other dating sites yet but am pretty sure it'll work as well across the board.
The key points are:
- Be unique; write catchy subject lines and initial emails
- Keep the emails short and light
- Use proper spelling and grammar
- Setup a challenge and reward system
- Get the interaction off-line as soon as possible
If you work on a good system using basic seduction techniques, you could probably clean up online. The big problem is that it is time consuming. You'll waste more time emailing girls back and forth for a few dates, that it's probably not worth the effort. You're much better off using that time to go and meet women in person. This way you can screen them more efficiently, you don't waste time with ones that will reject you and if you do click with one you can escalate a heck of a lot faster.
For me, online date is limited to the times when I can't go into the field, like when I'm home sick for instance.
Hope that helped.
Good Skills,
-Savage
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.