Question about an ex

[TheBaconator]

We broke up months ago, yet some part of me wants her still. Part of me just wants her to chase me so I could have the position of turning her down. I know it's bad but still, my question is what should I do here.

We had a convo online where I totally acted like a **** and I didn't care about anything she had to say, she called me rude and I told her "it's not that i'm rude, you just don't know me". She responded "yea I guess I don't"

Now this girl has treated me rather ****ty after our breakup, but I know she still has some feelings for me, otherwise she wouldn't contact me so much. So should I just leave it at that, or email her calling her out on alll the rude **** she has done to me and tell her to stay outta my life?

Which would make her want it more? Or make her feel worse. It's weird, I wanna **** her yet at the same time I wanna see her crying.

 

[KontrollerX]

The best thing you can do to get back at her is to go no contact and give her no reaction at all to anything that she does.

The reaction is what women want and crave more than anything when they screw you over and damn does it feel good to tell them off but its only later that you realize that you lost this game by doing so.

So do not react and go no contact and you will win and she will go nuts over it.

The only downside?

You will wonder if she is really suffering from the lack of your presence though I suppose if she keeps trying to contact you and you hear ever growing desperation and frustration in her voice from you not giving in and being her little emotional tamp0n false friendship toy just hearing that in her voice may be enough to make you happy.

"Part of me just wants her to chase me so I could have the position of turning her down. I know it's bad but still, my question is what should I do here."

This part can only be solved by inner game work and I say that because even if you do get an ex in a position where you can one up her and you cure your bad feelings by turning her down you will just re-live your validation needs when another chick breaks up with you and screws you over in the future.

So inner game work is key to the point you don't need anyone's validation but your own to get by.

 

[foomee]

Here's the deal... STAY AWAY FROM YOUR EX.
Ex's are ex's for a reason. You say she treats you like ****, yet you continue to talk to her? Your "oneitis" is kicking in. Ignore her calls, ignore her instant messages, and find another girl to get hooked on. You've been broken up for months... move on. And the only way you can move on is by stopping all contact with her. You sound just like me last year when my ex broke up with me. I felt like that, and after a while I realized that I just had to halt any contact with her. You'll realize it soon enough.

 

[TheBaconator]

I haven't been talking to her. She called me like 30 times this past month to "see if i'm ok". I guess I can see her POV, she is seeing if i'm ok because i've had to deal with a loss in my family, and am living alone for the first time. That's the only reason I responded to her, because I was being nice.

But you guys are right. This is the kick in the ass I need. The best thing is to just let it sit and forget her.

 

[brian123]

The is calling to see if you are "ok" so she can alleviate her own guilt. Stay away bro.

 

[WC2]

If you want this chick out of your life, obviously emailing her is not a sign of that.

Getting back at chicks isn't as gratifying as it looks. Well, maybe it is, but it's not healthy.

Please move on from this chick. Forget her and start spinning plates.

If she treats you like ass, then she thinks of you like ass. Disrespect is a tell-tell sign of loss of interest in a guy. Once she starts ordering you around and getting pissed at your every move, it's the end game.

Even if you do afford to drive her back by not contacting her, then what have you accomplished? She's not coming back because she likes you, but because she wants to conquer you again. And you're telling me that you're going to stand high and mighty and reject her outright? I wasn't born yesterday kid.

If you leave this girl in the past foreal without having any intent on driving her back, then when she naturally does come back you won't hesitate to turn her down.

 

[drak_ool]

after I broke up with my ex (seems like a lifetime ago now...) I was kind of in the same boat as you. I wanted to completely forget about her and not care about her, but at the same time I also wanted to hurt her (so I guess in a way i still cared about her). So I went no contact. Never initiate it, and never responded to her txts or phone calls. She tried to get in touch with me for 9 months, at least once a week. She would have common friends call me and ask me to get back in touch with her. I knew she was hurting!

But the funny thing was, after the first few months, I really didn't care. I ve been doing well with babes ever since we broke up so I didn't feel the need to hurt her anymore. I just didn't care about her, so I kept the no contact approach just to have one less headache in my life.

I agree with others here that nothing else you do (curse her out, complain to her about past wrongs, etc.) will get you even close to this result because by playing her game you will show that you still care for her

 

[TheBaconator]

She didn't treat me like **** in the relationship, I wouldn't have that. It's after where she pissed me off.

I was doing the whole NC and she called me about 30 times this past month but never left a voicemail until recently. Thinking it would only feed her ego if she knew I was "ignoring" her supposedly polite attempt to "see if i'm ok" I returned her call just to tell her I am and get her off my back. I didn't wanna give off the impression that I was too angry with her to return a call, cuz I figured that would drive her ego.

Then last night she Ims me and begins to try to have casual conversation. I basically show no interest in her and do nothing but answer her questions with one word answers or ****y remarks. She even asked "do you not want me to talk to you?" which pretty much was another ego booster for her I assume. So I just answered "I don't really care".

But yea, the email thing is a dumb idea, I was just drinking a lil last night and got heated. This whole thing is a lose-lose for me anyway it goes down.