question 4 the expierenced....

[apodyopsis]

ive been "djing" for a while, and ive gone on many dates, and have learned and applied much of the stuff on this website. but there has been 1 piece of advice that is fairly common, but its causing me problems. were not suppose to "be infatuated" with gurls, and i pretty much agree to it. my question is, while i have been dating, i wanted 2 develop stronger feelings, but that mental block against infatuation has been there. i know love doesnt normally come in highschool, and im not expecting it. but how do you know when its not infatuation? is there a point when you should drop the guard? after a while should you just go with it? anyway, if any1 has any advice or have thought the same, please share ur opinion. (sorry if this was brief but i didnt want to ramble)

 

[dbot]

I'm no expert at this myself, but I always thought love and infatuation were the same thing, only love is based on who the person really is, and infatuation is love for who you THINK the person is. I'm curious about this and would like to see comments from others as well.

 

[Track_Star]

Originally posted by dbot
I'm no expert at this myself, but I always thought love and infatuation were the same thing, only love is based on who the person really is, and infatuation is love for who you THINK the person is. I'm curious about this and would like to see comments from others as well.

Yes, infatuation is, in essence, being in love with the idea of being in love.

Apodyopsis, I'm a little confused. Are you with a particular girl that you wish to develop a more meaningful connection with? I think theres too much of a safeguard taught on this website about never getting close to a girl. If you find one that has proven herself to be worthy (this takes AT LEAST 2 months) than it becomes more and more acceptable to open up to them. If you don't have a special girl in mind and just want to "fall in love" I would watch yourself. You can't make a relationship work. If you meet someone and things go good than so be it, but I see a lot of guys who become dependant on girls/relationships and its not the right place to be at your age.

I am out of high school (I'm 19 and a freshman in college) but I sometimes check out this forum still. Give me a private message if you want to discuss more stuff.

 

[apodyopsis]

Track_Star, right now im dating this gurl, but its nothing big, just a couple weeks. i just wasnt sure when i should "open up" but u had a good point about the being worthy 2-month thing. and yes, guys shouldnt be dependant on relationships at this age. im almost always busy, and i doubt i could handle a real ltr right now. im fine wih just having fun. thx for ur post, it made a lot of sense. i always thought as u got further into the relationship, the "safeguards" you learn here slowly go down, but i was never sure when that point was. guess i have a while b4 i have 2 worry about that, but its just been buggin me. thx for helping me clear it up

 

[The Antichrist_Star]

I had the same problem that you are having right now. Because of all the things that I have learned over the years and all of things that have happened to me, I was deathly afraid to open up to my current girlfriend of six months... damn that's a long time. Anyway, the things is that while you should not be afraid of opening yourself up, you should protect yourself @ the same time. Developing stronger feelings for a person is just one of those kinds of things... you will know when to do it, because you will just feel it. You won't be able to understand why you feel it... but you will.