"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Quarter-life Crisis

CLOONEY

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"Being Twenty-something - they call it the "Quarter-life Crisis".

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realising that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like.


You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now.


You start realising that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.


What you don't recognise is that they are realising that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you.


You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realising that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you.


Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realise that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.


You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realise that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.


You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot don't seem as fun.


You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends (or push them away and not talk at all) about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a
decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender!


What you may not realise is that everyone reading this relates to it in some way. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.



"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the
moments that take our breath away."


It's really amazing when two strangers become the best of friends, but
it is really sad when the best of friends become two strangers."

- Unknown Author
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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TheRisingSon

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Don't really have a strong reply, but I'm sure this post rings true with many. One thing to keep in mind is that no matter what you feel, someone else has felt it.

I Have Risen
 

ScrewIt

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the best advice:

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

You seem to fear where your future lies, if you dont want to end up with that future, do something DIFFERENT TO CHANGE IT.

IF YOU CONTINUE WITH YOUR REGULAR ROUTINES AND HABITS, you'll be back to square one 2 yrs from now.
 

CLOONEY

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Yes, I posted this because most people, especially YOUNG people on these boards will relate to SOME parts of the post. I can relate to some, not all. But it is a good read I thought, especially for some of these young, confused members of the boards, as most of the newbs on this site are in the transition stage of their lives, trying to turn things around, and make them positive.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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CLOONEY

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Originally posted by ScrewIt
the best advice:

DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

You seem to fear where your future lies, if you dont want to end up with that future, do something DIFFERENT TO CHANGE IT.

IF YOU CONTINUE WITH YOUR REGULAR ROUTINES AND HABITS, you'll be back to square one 2 yrs from now.
As u didnt see, this does not relate to me ENTIRELY. only to some extent at different moments. Just thought it might help some of the guys on the boards, but if not, no problem. No harm in trying!
 

il_duce

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Originally posted by CyranoDeBergerac
...and none of that applies!!! Ha cha cha! :D
Yeah, we know...you're 15. Go fvck some high school chicks now.
 
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You are becoming s man! Not one yet!!!!
 

CyranoDeBergerac

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Originally posted by il_duce
Yeah, we know...you're 15. Go fvck some high school chicks now.
15? Hardly. A prince among @$$es? Most assuredly.

Twas a joke. This post needed some levity. There are some interesting insights here, but what is it about these retrospective attempts to define and crystallize a period in life that never fails to bring solemnity? Is it that the perspective we take is on the very essence of life and death? Life is not over, even if that point in time is not. You will never regain the past. The most important thing we can do is stake our claim on the future. Do not lament or dramatize that which is already far too dramatic.

CLOONEY phrased it beautifully,"...everyone reading this relates to it in some way." I prefer humor because if we cannot laugh in the face of life, we'll never be able to do so in the face of our own mortality.

Yesterday is gone forver,
Tomorrow's still a dream,
Today is an illusion,
All that's left is just to be.

-CyranoDeBergerac
 
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