qualifying questions which backfire, counter responses?

[pete101]

ok usually u get the girl to qualify herself to you by asking her 'so what else do u have going for u beside your looks?'

what if this backfires and she counters with 'well what else do u have going for you since u don't have the looks part? '

OR

if you tell her 'i think you're cute but you're not my type at all'

she responds with 'well you're definitely not my type either so it's all good'

how do you counter response this?

 

[pete101]

i had a situation where i asked the girl the first question.. she'd list out her qualities about her being trustworthy and friendly sporty etc etc

i countered with 'that does nothing for me as a guy.. well sporty maybe but that's neither here nor there..'

she counters with 'well im not trying to do anything for you as a guy.. and seeing as the fact i'm friendly, trustworthy and nice tells me you're shallow. so amongst the other things i'd tell u i'm really good in bed and great at giving head. but i'm not trying to get you to like me as u dont do anything for me either! '

now what's the best way to follow on from this??

she qualifies herself to me but almost out of bitterness tells me that i don't do anything for her either and she isn't trying to 'get' me.

this is a regular back and forth i encounter.. i tell her i'm not into her or she's not my type.. she'll either say 'im not into you but i could get u if i wanted to but i don't' so u go 'prove it' she'll go 'i dont have to prove it..'

then it just ends. what would be best to follow with when she qualifies herself to you but then tells you she doesn't like u that way anyway?

 

[wjh]

smile, laugh maybe, and keep building rapport. it shouldn't sway you.

be careful not to over-use qualifying questions, she might think you're not interested and if she's actually a cool girl may just not want to play that game and diss you harder.

remember, qualifying questions are for frame adjustment. once you have the frame you don't need to continue forcing it.

 

[pete101]

the question is.. what do you respond with?

smile and laughing is fine but that doesn't do anything about evade the question. what if it is a running back and forth phone conversation? or via email or text?

in my particular example i said something along the lines of 'you're cute when you're confused/angry. your 'supposed' bedroom skills dont impress me.. you'd be better of telling me u have a sense of humor'

then she counters with 'well my bedroom skills aren't 'supposed' although there is no way of proving it, cos i'm not gona sleep with you '

the '' at the end isn't an indicator or anything.. literally i'm not her 'physical' type so i'm just yanking her chain at the minute. what would be a good response to that though?

 

[The Bat]

First off, you're phrasing the questions wrong. You're being overt and direct in the way you ask questions and are sending a vibe of insecurity because you have to verbalize the fact that she has to prove something to you. The truth is, NOBODY needs to prove anything to anybody at the end of the day. Yes, even girls don't have anything to prove to you. Why should they? You're just some...guy. Not their professor or employer.

The whole idea of qualifying questions is to do them indirectly and in such a way that the girl doesn't even KNOW that she is qualifying herself to you. You get me?

Example:

You: So...what do you do in your spare time? Run around cracking jokes with your girlfriends or picking up guys or feeding a homeless man some bread or helping that old grandma cross the street or what?
Her: *laugh* Well...yadda yadda

And whatever she tells you, you just go from there. Just don't verbalise the fact that you're qualifying her and the fact that her looks doesn't do anything for you (which is complete BS by the way...I mean come on man...only reason you're talking to her is because she is hot...you're just talking to seduce her to bang your brains out...not lecture you on philosophy of life LOL).

And when girls "backfire" at you, they usually have sensed insecurity on your part. They know that you're asking her to qualify herself to you so you can control the frame better. Girls are really good at covert communications and they can read between the lines very easily. It's in their nature to sense the feelings behind words. You're communicating this feeling: "see i know you're a hot babe, but i'm trying to peg you down from the pedestal that i've put you on by asking you to qualify yourself to me and telling you that you don't look that good to me"

There is no appropriate response for the examples you've listed. You come off as too aggressive/hostile and not playful enough when you ask those questions. No wonder they're replying back so harshly. Why wouldn't they?

Bro just chill out with using canned stuff or verbalizing your intentions. Just be playful and tease them when you ask those questions.