ironhorse
New Member
I have noticed that many times I and other guys have failed by neglecting to think of a smooth transition from where we are to where we want to be. Women have a very sensitive radar for men being over-eager and leaving 'social transition gaps' in trying to get to know the woman.
eg. Guy: "Hey, what are you doing tonight when you leave the club? You wanna hook up?" Girl: Ick!
They have an even more sensitive radar for when you suggest things that give them an advantage and they have a moral high-ground when you are angry that you got used.
The key is to have a plan from beginning to end but not let it seem "too planned". Because she will be suspicious and will purposely be hard to impress because she won't trust herself and trust if the feelings and interest that are budding in her are 'genuine' and she isn't sure that you aren't manufacturing the environment to make her feel that way.
On to the meat of this post.. To avoid getting used, you should group women in these two categories
1. Unqualified
Unqualified women are usually flaky hot chicks that you just met who have not EARNED the right to be taken out. Women make us earn the right to be in their company and earn the ability to pleasure them with sexual activity once we say and do everything right for as long as they want to see us do it. Get some respect for YOUR contribution that SHE wants. Spending your money entertaining her is what she desperately wants along with, giving her occasional but genuine compliments but usually after she asks. Back to what she desperately wants.. She CRAVES wanting to be listened to and having you validate her long, boring self-absorbed stories with your eager attention and ability to call back all of the bland details.
Unqualified women should only get the following when you suggest hanging out:
a. Free entry for day time and/or evening activities for weekly dates that cost no more than 1% to 5% of your weekly income. Many women who are looking to use you for entertainment that she does not have to pay for will balk and complain at you taking her to things that are free.. Strange huh? Women who genuinely like YOU have no problem occasionally or even frequently going to things that are free or low-cost. There is a difference between cheap and financially responsible. Be the guy who feeds her crackers and diet coke and have her service your junk. The hotter the chick is the more she will resist everything on this list but the likelihood that you throw your money away on entertaining a manipulative chick grows exponentially also. Cool 'low financial risk' first date ideas. If these dates go well you can go to a qualified chick date the same day or the next week
-Grab some coffee/tea from Barnes and Noble or Starbucks and talk $2-$6
-Bowling $10-$20
-The museum on certain days $0-$10
-The zoo on half-price day or with local coupons $0-$20
-Picnic with fresh grapes, cold drinks and some nice crackers or cookies $10
-Nightclubs before 10pm and look for drink specials $0-$20
-Comedy nights in some cities at local spots that have free admission and a 2 drink minimum that you may just have to ignore. $0-$20
-Movies Only $20
b. Transition from one item on this list to a second or third item on this list if it goes well. If she rejects all of these ideas as "cheap dates" or say that she does not like any of them and suggests things that cost lots more money or that she is "worth the money"! Run like HELL!! No chick is worth that kind of money except your mom/finacee/wife. I will guarantee that a chick who suggests something expensive early is a USER and she has no plans on staying around to get to know you so she is a trying to get her expensive dates early you and you should proceed knowing fully you will feel like a horses ass when you realize that I am right. The purpose of a date to to create a memory while getting to know someone.
2. Qualified Chick
The dates that take a significant investment of time to research/plan and pay for should be reserved for women who you had a great time with on a date in category 1. These dates should cost no more than 10%-20% of your weekly income. Women who expect to jump right to this category because of their looks or disgust for being 'screened' are 99% users. Its exactly like a woman who is offended by you using a condom. RUN like HELL! All women want to make it to this level. There's nothing wrong with them getting here, as long as you know she won't leave you the moment you can't afford $300 worth of drinks and club-hopping with her friends. Those user chicks know that you two are probably going to crash and burn in the middle of the free date. That's not beneficial to her so she wants to go straight to your most desired contribution, watching you spending your money on her and listening to her boring stories and not really trying to get to know you. Don't help impatient hot chicks skip this step in order to try and keep them interested but the chick loses interest anyway and you think it had something to do with what happened ON the date but it had more to do with what happened BEFORE the date. If you take time to qualify these hot women, you are guaranteed at the end of the day to have a hot woman who is genuinely interested in you.
a. Moderate priced dates are more appropriate for this stage.
-Applebees $50-$75
-Chillis $50-$75
-Red Lobster $50-$75
-Texas Roadhouse $50-$75
-Dinner + a movie $100
-Dinner and drinks $100
-Dinner, drinks and a movie $150
Now on to the TRANSITIONS
There are four to five steps from a seamlessly quick transition to first hello to naked twister..
1. First hello and small talk. After couple minutes, say that you want to talk to her later and is it cool to get her number or email address. Wait 48-72 hours before contacting her. It could go OK but I have seen it go bad much more often than it goes well. Women will tell you that this is not true but they are only counting the guys that they liked a lot that never called. 2-3 days won't kill her.
-Transition: When you call after 2-3 days, make small talk mostly asking what she has been up to. Say that you would like to hang out. She will inevitably ask where and when. Try not to give a specific day but suggest to do it on her off day from work/school because women will sometimes turn down 3-4 suggestions, they sometimes make you guess whats on their schedule. I am ashamed to say I in years past, I had gone as far to three weeks from the original day trying to make a date and she didn't know what she was doing on most of those days but she knew she was busy. Still didn't get a date down to go out. If you have to give a day, suggest Saturday if she works 9-5 from Monday to Friday. Women normally hate going out with a guy right after work, they go out with their friends after work. They want all day to shave, prepare their lady parts for some possible attention, get their hair done and kinda enjoy the emotional build up to the date where she imagines how awesome the day is going to be which works in your favor.
2. First date. Choose something that is fun and appropriate for what stage that she is in, whether qualified or qualified.
-Transition to a later evening in her company. By saying how much fun you had and suggest another opportunity to hang out doing something which allows you to be a little closer and intimate depending on the time of evening. Maybe going to the movies if the night started early, drinks if you haven't already had too many drinks or the age old favorite of a late night diner run to a place like IHOP.
3. In the later evening activity. This is one step away from some very interesting times and getting a little antsy and rushing through this stage can make you seem a bit desperate and emotionally thirsty. Ride out the night. Be as interesting later in the evening as you were in the beginning, it should be easier because you know more about the girl. Ask a few deep questions that reveal more of who she is and be willing to answer more questions about who you are. If a girl is starting to like you she will undoubtedly ask you what happened in your last relationship and if you have ever had your heart broken. Don't make your ex sound horrible even if she was and don't admit if you cheated or did something horrible because she will judge you for it. If you have had your heart broken don't admit it, it makes you look weak. Just kind of deflect the question and deny it.
-Transition out of the late night 2nd date (or late night 1st date if you met her for the first time that evening at a night club) to your place or her place if she makes a counter-offer to go there. You will do better to suggest that you two go to your place to watch a cool show on TV like the first 48 or Criminal Minds, a movie you think she might like or to see your collection of something that women think that is cool. Whether it is art, classic rock, hip hop, world music or country music if she is so-inclined, she may counter with going to her place for drinks (nightcap) or watching TV.
4. At the mating place! The decision has been made to let you within a millimeter of mating at the mating time. Again, try not to get too excited and grabby. Keep a little distance and let her invite you to come in. She will EXPECT you to try and quickly close that space. Enjoy the evening and focus on the activity that you agreed to do for 30-45 minutes. During the activity focus on being cool and relax and not be too grabby at this point.
-Transitioning to the first kiss.. If she has closed the space between you and seems comfortable next to you or under her arm. Turn to her and give a small smile and slowly move to kiss her on the lips gently. If she responds well the rest is up to you my friend. If she does not respond well just relax and ride the night out and see what happens. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
eg. Guy: "Hey, what are you doing tonight when you leave the club? You wanna hook up?" Girl: Ick!
They have an even more sensitive radar for when you suggest things that give them an advantage and they have a moral high-ground when you are angry that you got used.
The key is to have a plan from beginning to end but not let it seem "too planned". Because she will be suspicious and will purposely be hard to impress because she won't trust herself and trust if the feelings and interest that are budding in her are 'genuine' and she isn't sure that you aren't manufacturing the environment to make her feel that way.
On to the meat of this post.. To avoid getting used, you should group women in these two categories
1. Unqualified
Unqualified women are usually flaky hot chicks that you just met who have not EARNED the right to be taken out. Women make us earn the right to be in their company and earn the ability to pleasure them with sexual activity once we say and do everything right for as long as they want to see us do it. Get some respect for YOUR contribution that SHE wants. Spending your money entertaining her is what she desperately wants along with, giving her occasional but genuine compliments but usually after she asks. Back to what she desperately wants.. She CRAVES wanting to be listened to and having you validate her long, boring self-absorbed stories with your eager attention and ability to call back all of the bland details.
Unqualified women should only get the following when you suggest hanging out:
a. Free entry for day time and/or evening activities for weekly dates that cost no more than 1% to 5% of your weekly income. Many women who are looking to use you for entertainment that she does not have to pay for will balk and complain at you taking her to things that are free.. Strange huh? Women who genuinely like YOU have no problem occasionally or even frequently going to things that are free or low-cost. There is a difference between cheap and financially responsible. Be the guy who feeds her crackers and diet coke and have her service your junk. The hotter the chick is the more she will resist everything on this list but the likelihood that you throw your money away on entertaining a manipulative chick grows exponentially also. Cool 'low financial risk' first date ideas. If these dates go well you can go to a qualified chick date the same day or the next week
-Grab some coffee/tea from Barnes and Noble or Starbucks and talk $2-$6
-Bowling $10-$20
-The museum on certain days $0-$10
-The zoo on half-price day or with local coupons $0-$20
-Picnic with fresh grapes, cold drinks and some nice crackers or cookies $10
-Nightclubs before 10pm and look for drink specials $0-$20
-Comedy nights in some cities at local spots that have free admission and a 2 drink minimum that you may just have to ignore. $0-$20
-Movies Only $20
b. Transition from one item on this list to a second or third item on this list if it goes well. If she rejects all of these ideas as "cheap dates" or say that she does not like any of them and suggests things that cost lots more money or that she is "worth the money"! Run like HELL!! No chick is worth that kind of money except your mom/finacee/wife. I will guarantee that a chick who suggests something expensive early is a USER and she has no plans on staying around to get to know you so she is a trying to get her expensive dates early you and you should proceed knowing fully you will feel like a horses ass when you realize that I am right. The purpose of a date to to create a memory while getting to know someone.
2. Qualified Chick
The dates that take a significant investment of time to research/plan and pay for should be reserved for women who you had a great time with on a date in category 1. These dates should cost no more than 10%-20% of your weekly income. Women who expect to jump right to this category because of their looks or disgust for being 'screened' are 99% users. Its exactly like a woman who is offended by you using a condom. RUN like HELL! All women want to make it to this level. There's nothing wrong with them getting here, as long as you know she won't leave you the moment you can't afford $300 worth of drinks and club-hopping with her friends. Those user chicks know that you two are probably going to crash and burn in the middle of the free date. That's not beneficial to her so she wants to go straight to your most desired contribution, watching you spending your money on her and listening to her boring stories and not really trying to get to know you. Don't help impatient hot chicks skip this step in order to try and keep them interested but the chick loses interest anyway and you think it had something to do with what happened ON the date but it had more to do with what happened BEFORE the date. If you take time to qualify these hot women, you are guaranteed at the end of the day to have a hot woman who is genuinely interested in you.
a. Moderate priced dates are more appropriate for this stage.
-Applebees $50-$75
-Chillis $50-$75
-Red Lobster $50-$75
-Texas Roadhouse $50-$75
-Dinner + a movie $100
-Dinner and drinks $100
-Dinner, drinks and a movie $150
Now on to the TRANSITIONS
There are four to five steps from a seamlessly quick transition to first hello to naked twister..
1. First hello and small talk. After couple minutes, say that you want to talk to her later and is it cool to get her number or email address. Wait 48-72 hours before contacting her. It could go OK but I have seen it go bad much more often than it goes well. Women will tell you that this is not true but they are only counting the guys that they liked a lot that never called. 2-3 days won't kill her.
-Transition: When you call after 2-3 days, make small talk mostly asking what she has been up to. Say that you would like to hang out. She will inevitably ask where and when. Try not to give a specific day but suggest to do it on her off day from work/school because women will sometimes turn down 3-4 suggestions, they sometimes make you guess whats on their schedule. I am ashamed to say I in years past, I had gone as far to three weeks from the original day trying to make a date and she didn't know what she was doing on most of those days but she knew she was busy. Still didn't get a date down to go out. If you have to give a day, suggest Saturday if she works 9-5 from Monday to Friday. Women normally hate going out with a guy right after work, they go out with their friends after work. They want all day to shave, prepare their lady parts for some possible attention, get their hair done and kinda enjoy the emotional build up to the date where she imagines how awesome the day is going to be which works in your favor.
2. First date. Choose something that is fun and appropriate for what stage that she is in, whether qualified or qualified.
-Transition to a later evening in her company. By saying how much fun you had and suggest another opportunity to hang out doing something which allows you to be a little closer and intimate depending on the time of evening. Maybe going to the movies if the night started early, drinks if you haven't already had too many drinks or the age old favorite of a late night diner run to a place like IHOP.
3. In the later evening activity. This is one step away from some very interesting times and getting a little antsy and rushing through this stage can make you seem a bit desperate and emotionally thirsty. Ride out the night. Be as interesting later in the evening as you were in the beginning, it should be easier because you know more about the girl. Ask a few deep questions that reveal more of who she is and be willing to answer more questions about who you are. If a girl is starting to like you she will undoubtedly ask you what happened in your last relationship and if you have ever had your heart broken. Don't make your ex sound horrible even if she was and don't admit if you cheated or did something horrible because she will judge you for it. If you have had your heart broken don't admit it, it makes you look weak. Just kind of deflect the question and deny it.
-Transition out of the late night 2nd date (or late night 1st date if you met her for the first time that evening at a night club) to your place or her place if she makes a counter-offer to go there. You will do better to suggest that you two go to your place to watch a cool show on TV like the first 48 or Criminal Minds, a movie you think she might like or to see your collection of something that women think that is cool. Whether it is art, classic rock, hip hop, world music or country music if she is so-inclined, she may counter with going to her place for drinks (nightcap) or watching TV.
4. At the mating place! The decision has been made to let you within a millimeter of mating at the mating time. Again, try not to get too excited and grabby. Keep a little distance and let her invite you to come in. She will EXPECT you to try and quickly close that space. Enjoy the evening and focus on the activity that you agreed to do for 30-45 minutes. During the activity focus on being cool and relax and not be too grabby at this point.
-Transitioning to the first kiss.. If she has closed the space between you and seems comfortable next to you or under her arm. Turn to her and give a small smile and slowly move to kiss her on the lips gently. If she responds well the rest is up to you my friend. If she does not respond well just relax and ride the night out and see what happens. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
