"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Puzzled. How should I respond ?

blind_one

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Got invited to a house party to celebrate my friend moving in.

Says there will be her boyfriend, my friend and some chicks I know and some I don't.

I get there, get drunk, have fun, then I figure out that chick that is nearby is the one I returned a phone she lost in June, when we were drinking in a group on the beach.

We laughed about it, she was sitting really close to me on a bench so I put her on my lap and we had some more light conversation.

When people left the terrace we were on I started making out with her. I kept it short and fun, didn't really want people to notice us.

Later on when the party seemed to calm down we took a mattress and laid down on the floor in the living room with other people on armchairs and couches trying to get some sleep.

We made out some more, tickled and the like fun times in this darkroom.

In the morning when she woke up and went to a room I followed her and talked for some then she tried to hide her face from me ( no make up or wut !? didn't really care tho, she seems insecure about it) we drank some tea and when her friend left I close the door and kissed with her and we tickled on the bed but she seemed a bit defensive and confused.

Later on I kiss her goodbye and leave at like 11 AM and take her number ( appeares she has mine, from before, when she lost one of her phones and I contacted her ).

She texts me at aroud 4 PM that her friends were going to the beach and she was left in the flat because she fell asleep and was wondering whenever not to join them.

I said I was on the other side of town like 20 miles away seeing another chick at that time, so I said its an interesting option but I'm a bit far away at the moment

She says she propably won't be going to the beach because her friends will be probably going back at that time so stays in, says I probably won't be interested in meeting them at a party again that night but I'm invited anyway and I'll do what I want.

Later, when I leave the chick I went to met I text her that I'd like but I'm really tired ( while she slept) and that It's already late in a joking way. I wished her a pleasant journey and a happy party ( as the next day she was going back home like 60+ miles. She studies here and rents a flat with her friends, was here for some exams.) to her home town ( of which the name I stated )

Day Later she texts me that she feels weird since the last party because she normaly has control over herself and she doesn't do that things on parties. Her friends were shocked because they know her and that kind of thing happened to her just a second time ( she was with a bf for a long time but recently broke up with him ) . Says she doesn't want me to think badly about her, more so that I'm a friend of her 2 friends.

NOW I wanted to reply something like, don't think to much of it, dont blame yourself It was cool, and some crap like that but I'm not sure what to say.

She is my age ( 21 ) and seems like a pretty cool chick to hangout with that I know at the moment, she will be in town in a week when academic semester starts.

The question is, what should I text her, because I think I should ?? Maybe call her later and arrange a meeting for a drink +/or bowling when she comes back ?

 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Purefilth

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You should've fvcked her already, 3 times at least.
Still nevermind that now. Tell her you'll hook up when she gets back, and leave it at that. your only goal now is to avoid that friendzone shvt. Don't forget you've already done the making out, so greeting her with a kiss should be first in the agenda, then have fun, and smash&dash!
 

sighsigh

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When you encounter a girl that you know has a boyfriend, you should always be operating under the presupposition that she doesn't have a boyfriend. Operate like she is single. If she actually has a meaningful relationship with her boyfriend, then she will stop any moves you make. If she doesn't stop you, then she's free for the taking.

Since she's already made out with you (assuming she wasn't totally wasted), I'd say she's free for the taking. Just text back something like 'lol who cares.' And then make a date.

She's only texting you to say what she did so she isn't seen as a slut or whatnot. Your aim should be to let her know you don't think that of her, but ALSO to acknowledge that her relationship with her boyfriend doesn't carry any sort of validity.
 

blind_one

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sighsigh said:
When you encounter a girl that you know has a boyfriend, you should always be operating under the presupposition that she doesn't have a boyfriend. Operate like she is single. If she actually has a meaningful relationship with her boyfriend, then she will stop any moves you make. If she doesn't stop you, then she's free for the taking.

Since she's already made out with you (assuming she wasn't totally wasted), I'd say she's free for the taking. Just text back something like 'lol who cares.' And then make a date.

I believe she was, she told me she puked while I was asleep lol

She's only texting you to say what she did so she isn't seen as a slut or whatnot. Your aim should be to let her know you don't think that of her, but ALSO to acknowledge that her relationship with her boyfriend doesn't carry any sort of validity.
She wasn't in a relationship at that point so its not really my concern.

@purefilth yeah,uhm maybe right :S but she was really defensive

Keep them comming.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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VladPatton

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Just leave it alone, and keep moving forward. She's trying to create a little drama for herself.
 

blind_one

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So I phoned her the next day after she texted me, I phoned her in the evening that it's allright, we got a little drunk and it happends, was fun tho yadda yadda, I told her to contact me when she's back in town.

So now she did (Good news :D ) looks like she's interested and now I'm clueless again :S the distance is pretty steep [12km] ( Not for me ) What I know is that I'll go for the kiss when I meet her but I'm wondering whenever I should invite her over, ( for ex. after her classes, bcuz her uni is closer to my crib [ 4,3 km and good public transportation ] then her apartment) or go for some bowling ( never did bowling :S )

Advice very much appreciated

EDIT: I let her knowm that It's cool and I'll contact her soon and we will hang out. She responded in a minute with "ok", **** I need to clear my head -.-
 
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blind_one

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Whenever I should invite her over during the week after some classes or get her to meet me somewhere public for and action date and a couple of drink which brings us to logistics and me being a semi broke engineering student
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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flashpoint

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you are making that one more complicated than necessary. do you realize that she was ready to be intimate with you? and that your behaviour let her think that she did something wrong and so on, which didnt exactly diminish her interest in you?

now you have this girl, that likes you and wants you, so what do you do? naturally? bowling wont get her more interested than she already is, so why not let her come over to your place. e.g. tell her you got this new recipe you want to try and she is invited so she can give you her opinion and help.

the important thing is to get together and escalate physically.
 

blind_one

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flashpoint said:
you are making that one more complicated than necessary. do you realize that she was ready to be intimate with you? and that your behaviour let her think that she did something wrong and so on, which didnt exactly diminish her interest in you?

now you have this girl, that likes you and wants you, so what do you do? naturally? bowling wont get her more interested than she already is, so why not let her come over to your place. e.g. tell her you got this new recipe you want to try and she is invited so she can give you her opinion and help.

the important thing is to get together and escalate physically.
Your right, I'm waaay overthinking it, I'll phone her tomorrow after classes and invite her over to help me bake ''something'' ( lolchocolatecake) on Tuesday. I'll report what's up.

And thank you for Your input.
 
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