Putting my foot down, serious question

[*******]

So im on the phone with my GF. She tells me she went out with her friends to a party. I told her this was happening a little too often and i don't like my girlfriend going out that much. I said that parties are for single girls and shes not single. I basically said in short that i don't want her going out without my permission (in gentler words). She then said that she doesn't have a problem with that, as long as i don't go out when she doesn't want me to. I said no. She says that's not fair. She proceeds to ask whats the justification for me going out and she staying home. I told her some chivinistic sh!t that she pointed out. At this point i started to lose my footing and said that it's temporary and eventually im going to listen to her. Im still trying to figure out if i lost my balls or if it was genious, but she agreed (even though i wasen't giving a choice). Now im starting to think that this move might not have been so smart (ex. she says it's very selfish,etc), but i also think i need to put my foot down. Thoughts?

What would you do now?

 

[lettuce head]

You don't own the girl. Telling her she shouldn't go to parties = you being insecure with your relationship.

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

part of being a true man is accepting everyone and not trying to change them. you can influence them, but dont try to change them. if you really cant stand her, then get her out of ur life.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

So are you dating an untrustworthy woman or are you just insecure? Either of these things could be the reason why you aren't going to parties together.

 

[NewMan]

I like Francisco's line of thought. Which is it?

You also have to remember Ultimatums seldom, if ever work. Period. You are telling her that she needs to get your permission to do something - just doesn't make sense. It will drive her further away for a start.

You need to treat women like a pet. Reinforce positive actions with your presence - and put her on ice when she acts negitively.

 

[sexy_kuta]

do you trust ur girl?

doenst seem like it

 

[Phyzzle]

Furthermore, *****, why do YOU need to go to parties without her? Why is that so important? What do you have to hide from her? Aren't parties for finding single girls?

 

[*******]

I trust her and im secure. But if you don't see nothing wrong with having your chick go out as she pleases then i can't help you. Just the principle of it is wrong.
I swear, some of you think letting your chicks do what ever she want makes you seem secure. It only makes you look like a b1tch. If you don't like something do something about it. Not doing something for fear of looking insecure is what really makes you insecure.
BTW, she has asked me if i wanted to party with her but i always decline then tell her to have fun. I don't have a problem with her going, as i told her, it's the frequency.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I trust her and im secure. But if you don't see nothing wrong with having your chick go out as she pleases then i can't help you. Just the principle of it is wrong.
I swear, some of you think letting your chicks do what ever she want makes you seem secure. It only makes you look like a b1tch. If you don't like something do something about it. Not doing something for fear of looking insecure is what really makes you insecure.
BTW, she has asked me if i wanted to party with her but i always decline then tell her to have fun. I don't have a problem with her going, as i told her, it's the frequency.

You keep telling yourself that. You're the one that's insecure whether you want to accept it or not. The difference between you and other guys is that other guys know that either their girls know that they are the best guy that they could be with and there's no worries. You on the other hand feel that for some reason your girl is going to do something to hurt you and you can't handle it. Even if it's something as trivial as going out more than what you think is permissible.

What's worse is that you want to change a girl who was originally a party girl, if you didn't like it you shouldn't have started dating her. Guys always complain about their girls trying to change them and here you are acting like one of those girls. You need to find a woman with a slower roll because you can't handle this one despite her wanting you to be with her when she hangs out.

 

[*******]

This the #1 feature of sosuave.com.
People who know it all based on assumptions.

Since you seem to be able to tell everything about me, then tell me, why did i decline to party with her? Did i do it just for fun? Was there maybe something else to do?

So im trying to change her, huh? Maybe it wasen't like this since the beggining. ever think of that. And who said she was a party girl? A couple parties don't make you a party girl. Maybe she agreed from the get go that I wouldn't want her going out too much.

I can't handdle her? HA, you should see us in public.

Just because the floor is wet, doesn't mean it rained.
I swear, sosuave is filled with MR. cleo's, and they are always right.

 

[sexy_kuta]

This the #1 feature of sosuave.com.
People who know it all based on assumptions.

Since you seem to be able to tell everything about me, then tell me, why did i decline to party with her? Did i do it just for fun? Was there maybe something else to do?

So im trying to change her, huh? Maybe it wasen't like this since the beggining. ever think of that. And who said she was a party girl? A couple parties don't make you a party girl. Maybe she agreed from the get go that I wouldn't want her going out too much.

I can't handdle her? HA, you should see us in public.

Just because the floor is wet, doesn't mean it rained.
I swear, sosuave is filled with MR. cleo's, and they are always right.

so then what is ur question? im confused,

u Dont want ur girl to go to partys? why, was there a bad experience in the past? did she do anything with her ex? you gotta fill us in man, the more u will on us the less asummptions we'll make

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

so then what is ur question? im confused,

u Dont want ur girl to go to partys? why, was there a bad experience in the past? did she do anything with her ex? you gotta fill us in man, the more u will on us the less asummptions we'll make

If it were something that specific he would have told us instead of making up "what if's." If it were something really complicated he would have posted it. See how much I know!

 

[MetalFortress]

If you don't want a girl going to parties without you, don't date a party girl, simple as that. You can't really change anyone.