Putting her on a pedestal and still getting her

[SLSAMG]

I know I guy who puts his new girlfriend of 2 weeks (known each other for a little over a month though, theyre both 20) on a pretty big pedestal, he doesn't bow at her feet but he treats her like shes extremely special. Compliments all the time, he gives her stuff sometimes, buys concert/event tickets, leaves love notes on her car, gets her flowers, takes her out all the time. He doesn't necessarily shower her with stuff but he does spend a good amount of money and attention on her. Not only that, but he's got a lot of money, his parents have a huge house. Seems like he's using his money to impress her.

He was talking about problems with his current car and suggested to his girl that he get a new car. He texts her a picture of some 2013 Mercedes and asks her if she likes it. Pretty blatant showing off right there if you ask me lol

He got on his knee with a ring and asked her to be his girlfriend after 1 month, I find this hilarious. :crackup:

Apparently his girl loves it and is all giddy and whatever at how "proper" he is, they really have a great time together though.

His girl gets him stuff like picture frames with their pictures in it, a card with a love note in it, soup when he was sick, pizza, matching shirts etc. Little sh*t to keep him satisfied it seems, he likes this stuff and really appreciates it when she gets it for him. He talks about how lucky he is to have her, how lucky he is to be dating her, how shes the most amazing girl in the world, etc. It seems like he never mentions how lucky she is to have a guy like him. Even though that seems a bit ****y, its perfectly ok to give yourself some credit, tell yourself you're the **** here and there lol.

Anyway, she loves this niceness, and she says "girls like it". Bull****. Have you seen relationships like this work out or does the girl usually get bored or lose respect? Also, this girl is inexperienced, she has had 3 bf's before and they've all lasted less than 6 months for whatever reason. The most she's done is kiss, and wants to wait until marriage for sex because of her Catholic religion. So I seriously doubt hes hitting it, and if he did he would have told me anyway.

What are you thoughts on this? Dont really want my buddy getting screwed over even though his girl is one of the nicest chicks ever

P.S. I understand what works on one girl wont necessarily work on another girl. I just want your thoughts on this because he's doing exactly what this community tells us not to do.

 

[SeymourCake]

The relationship is not gonna last. She's most likely going to cheat on him for someone who is dominant, in charge, assertive, etc (basically true masculine characteristics).

Can't believe he needed her approval on what car to buy...Almost made me sick in the stomach.

 

[SLSAMG]

The relationship is not gonna last. She's most likely going to cheat on him for someone who is dominant, in charge, assertive, etc (basically true masculine characteristics).

Can't believe he needed her approval on what car to buy...Almost made me sick in the stomach.

I was thinking the same thing in your first paragraph, they seem happy together but I guess that "honeymoon" stage will pass. I try to tell him to back off a little, hes being too nice and isnt a challenge in the slightest.

The car thing, I dont think it was necessarily him asking her for approval, more him showing off that he has the ability to purchase a brand new car if he really wanted to.

Either way, I cant change him, its the way he is with everyone. If this doesnt work out Ill see if I can slowly introduce him to this community

 

[flashpoint]

you guys know each other ? -->

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=197637

 

[SLSAMG]

you guys know each other ? -->

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=197637

I wanted more help without bumping an old thread, who cares

 

[Don Alfredo]

to be honest, i'd leave everything well alone, as it's their lives i guess. let the guy figure it out his own way, and it's not for any of us to say how another person should think, feel or act even if it's a best mate. individuals have to come to the community for help or guidance for themselves, and not for the purposes of thinking it may be beneficial for someone else. it may fail, but in the end, no matter how concerned a friend you might be, it's his love life, so it's essentially his business

 

[Stagger Lee]

Funny how when an "AFC" is pointed out that has a seemingly good relationship, people will say that this "AFC" behavior might've somehow got the girl, but won't keep the girl and she'll cheat on him. But if some one points out an unattractive guy is with a fairly attractive girl, then no one will say he might have got the girl somehow for now but she'll cheat on him eventually. The truth is the latter happens as much as anything.

It's not the "AFC" behavior that is the problem. It's when the girl doesn't appreciate or return affectionate behavior. Also "one-itis" isn't being devoted or in love with a girl. One-itis is unrequited love.

AFC behavior to women is subjective not objective. If a female is otherwise attracted and likes you and isn't a twisted b!tch she is not necessarily going to interpreted it as AFC.

 

[VladPatton]

It's his life, man. I see how this does look wrong from the outside, though. He'll shower her with money constantly to keep her, and in return she smiles, looks pretty, buys some chicken soup, and keeps her pu$$y in a shrinkwrap until she gets a ring, a huge wedding, and eventually half of his money. Then she's set for life and the fun begins. Happens all day long man, on every continenent, just don't let it be you. Pretty sad $hit, but he's doing it with his own hands.

 

[Purefilth]

Funny how when an "AFC" is pointed out that has a seemingly good relationship, people will say that this "AFC" behavior might've somehow got the girl, but won't keep the girl and she'll cheat on him. But if some one points out an unattractive guy is with a fairly attractive girl, then no one will say he might have got the girl somehow for now but she'll cheat on him eventually. The truth is the latter happens as much as anything.

It's not the "AFC" behavior that is the problem. It's when the girl doesn't appreciate or return affectionate behavior. Also "one-itis" isn't being devoted or in love with a girl. One-itis is unrequited love.

AFC behavior to women is subjective not objective. If a female is otherwise attracted and likes you and isn't a twisted b!tch she is not necessarily going to interpreted it as AFC.

Rep+1

 

[Alle_Gory]

If she likes it and responds well to it then who cares what he's doing? Does he have game or is this the same thing he does with every girl?

Because if he has game, then he knows what he's doing.

 

[JohnnyStorm]

Has he got the money to spend? Or is it all on credit?
TBH I see nothing wrong with treating a special woman as "special" as long as you maintain certain boundaries, like not letting your relationship impinge on your personal growth and other relationships, having career and future goals and be working towards them, woman or not etc.

As long as he has his own job, goals and life and isn't defined by his relationship with a woman, he can be successful, with or without her.

 

[Iceberg]

Funny how when an "AFC" is pointed out that has a seemingly good relationship, people will say that this "AFC" behavior might've somehow got the girl, but won't keep the girl and she'll cheat on him. But if some one points out an unattractive guy is with a fairly attractive girl, then no one will say he might have got the girl somehow for now but she'll cheat on him eventually. The truth is the latter happens as much as anything.

It's not the "AFC" behavior that is the problem. It's when the girl doesn't appreciate or return affectionate behavior. Also "one-itis" isn't being devoted or in love with a girl. One-itis is unrequited love.

AFC behavior to women is subjective not objective. If a female is otherwise attracted and likes you and isn't a twisted b!tch she is not necessarily going to interpreted it as AFC.

Exactly.

Depending on what the girl likes, and if she's attracted to the guy, ANYTHING could work.

It ain't all: ****y&funny/wait 3 days to call/work out 5-days a week/alpha male/etc

Sometimes a girl just likes a guy's game. Maybe this broad just likes the dude. It happens.

 

[zekko]

If he's a high value guy (you said he has a lot of money) he's going to be able to get away with a lot more. You say he's spoiling her with gifts and attention. The girl is probably thinking "I could get used to this". And she reciprocates by getting him small things - she doesn't have his money, but it's the thought that counts. These things show she's thinking of him.

Maybe he is a little too pvssified. But the bottom line is: Is he a good catch? Will the other girls be jealous of her because of who he is and the way he treats her?

Despite what they tell you here, there is no requirement to treat women like dirt in order to attract them.

 

[foreverAFC]

it works cause he has money and she enjoys having a guy spend money on her and buy her stuff.

 

[zekko]

it works cause he has money and she enjoys having a guy spend money on her and buy her stuff.

I think it's more than he likes her buying her stuff. He is successful - isn't that what DJs aspire to be? He comes from a well off family, which means he has connections and social status. These are natural attraction factors.

Funny how when an "AFC" is pointed out that has a seemingly good relationship, people will say that this "AFC" behavior might've somehow got the girl, but won't keep the girl and she'll cheat on him.

Nearly all relationships will end at some point, so I don't see that as being a valid criticism. Of all the relationships that start, how many end up being together until death? I think a 90% failure rate would be a VERY conservative estimate. I think that in today's world especially, it's helpful to stop thinking of relationships as things that last forever, because they usually don't.

 

[flashpoint]

basically the same discussion from the other thread repeats itself here. dont want to spoil the fun but is there a point to this?

OP says he wants to help his friend. well guess he can warn him but other than that people need to learn their own lessons. either all will be well and there is no need for consolation or it wont and then at least he can get an explanation about the dynamics and what went wrong then.

not sure though how much of the concern is related to the girl and not the friend. and if that is the case, well ... you need to sit it out then. or better get buzy with other girls and forget about that one.

 

[sighsigh]

Let's straighten out some theory here:

It's not like women don't like AFC-esque things: being showered with attention, treated like a princess, put on a pedestal, etc. That's not true. They love these things.

The problem stems from the fact that doing these things tends to imply something that women don't like: that the guy doing this is desperate, that he needs her, and so on. This implies low value.

Currently, in spite of this AFC-esque stuff he's done, he has given the woman the impression of high value (maybe due to all his money, as you've suggested). That's why she is having a relationship with him. But, if this guy doesn't know what he's doing, he will eventually give the impression of desperation to the woman. Which will decrease his value (and this decrease will probably outweigh the value he gains from his money or what-not). And that's where the relationship will end.

 

[Bossman90]

Exactly.

Depending on what the girl likes, and if she's attracted to the guy, ANYTHING could work.

It ain't all: ****y&funny/wait 3 days to call/work out 5-days a week/alpha male/etc

Sometimes a girl just likes a guy's game. Maybe this broad just likes the dude. It happens.

Agreed. Different people like different things. PU teaches you that you have to be a certain to get girls, thats not really the case. Theres no such thing as alpha or beta, just value that people are attracted to. With that being said, don't be a little ***** and behave yourself like a man and youll be fine with women.