putting DJ and myself to a test.

[Macek]

Hi Guys,

I am new to this forum (first post, not a native English speaker). I Went through quite a lot of the posts and kind of agree with the experienced DJs. But there is one thing which I was questioning myself all the time while reading. And this thing was the sole reason I found this forum anyway. And I am questioning myself this question 10 years ago without the clear answer. I have some negative evidence (2.5 unsuccessful tries), but this only convinced me that I was not good enough. The question is:

When something goes wrong with the girl. Is it possible to revert things. And I MEAN TO CHANGE THE SITUATION. Not only to improve yourself (this is of course one of the best DJ things), but to make her (or allow her to) fall in LOVE with you and not NEXT the girl.

I mean, for me this would be the only REAL PROOF that we indeed have some sort of control and that it is possible to win things in life with a real Personal Power.

Please, don't get me wrong. I do believe that this DJ stuff is beneficial. But I kind of came to all the same or similar DJ conclusions myself already. (Be better, be a man, don't be wussy, etc..). And only see the real deal here if it is really possible to do something like this with will, patience and getting better.

If some of you are willing to help me with that (or are at similar situation) I would like to share what the situation is and how I am dealing with it. I have a plan (not sure if good one, so I ask some MDJ for guidance).

Maybe just one more word. I consider myself quite good in DJ stuff (finding it mostly on my own through experience). Besides that I was as well a bit lucky so I am above average looking, and have covered other areas in my life quite well. A lot of girls are calling me all the time and wanting to sleep with me if not anything else (6-8s). But this makes me only sad and unhappy with my love life and makes me think more about the girl I am in love (or infatuated with). And I am kind of the guy who never gives up (this bothers me sometimes).

The story about the girl might be interesting from the DJ perspective as well, because we were close to have something 2 times from the initially her having a boyfriend and then rejected me harshly. Now we are in a semi rejected state.

I appreciate your points of view.

 

[scrouds]

When something goes wrong with the girl. Is it possible to revert things. And I MEAN TO CHANGE THE SITUATION. Not only to improve yourself (this is of course one of the best DJ things), but to make her (or allow her to) fall in LOVE with you and not NEXT the girl.

Possible: yes
Probable: no
Should you: hell no.

Why look to the past when you can look to the future. Take your lessons from life, learn from them and apply them into the future, not the past.

 

[Macek]

can't make myself to give up.

You are right. I tried and we just went another circle (maybe was even 2). Almost got her..started to be together all the time. She was calling, etc.. then suddenly she disappears and we are again at the beginning.

I know I should stop. It is eating me.. taking away my focus and energy.. I am constantly under pressure and not really as happy as I used to be normally..but I am stupid and still somehow feel that If I would be good enough or real man as I was, that I can turn things around.. I am not even sure if it is a pride or love, or mix of both, or what?

I don't know if I can convince myself to stop.. My personality is killing me as well. My mind is: "never stop.. never give up"..even if I know I should.
I actually never left her alone for more than 14 days in 1 year and now when I stopped it (yes, I went mad over her not answering my sms in 2 days)..

So. Now when I stopped it I really mean it.. but still, sometimes it creeps into my mind something like: "never tried to leave her..never tried to leave her alone for a while..maybe if I do this for 60 days.. I will be over or she will be back", and thoughts like that.. I just don't seem to be able to give up. Does it ever end?

Ah, and in meantime I slept with unknown number of girls, broke heart of some, 3-4 are writing me and calling me daily.. so I am not some kind of desperate guy.. I am just somehow desperate for her.. or a girl of the same quality.. I would appreciate some good advice or if somebody went through something similar.

 

[SoSuave666]

Think about it this way. Once you have had a taste of the other person (taste meaning secks and the like) and you either mutually or exclusively decide to end it, there's really no reason to go back. If she stopped seeing you it basically means she didn't want you anymore. Can you go back to something like that? Really?

Imagine all the women you stopped seeing. The only reason to go back is for casual secks. It's the same for these women. They either come back for a.) secks or b.) to get an ego boost. Sometimes c.) both. The ONLY way they come back and stay back with you is if you have made drastic changes to yourself. It's like a relationship with someone new. This is why improving yourself is so important, even when IN a relationship. You are constantly evolving.

 

[Iceberg]

Ah, and in meantime I slept with unknown number of girls, broke heart of some, 3-4 are writing me and calling me daily.. so I am not some kind of desperate guy.. I am just somehow desperate for her.. or a girl of the same quality.. I would appreciate some good advice or if somebody went through something similar.

Somebody who went through something similar? Like someone who has tried to stay with a girl who we shouldn't have tried to stay with? That's 98% of us.

Which is why no one here is going to tell you how to "fix" her. She can't be fixed. You're like two puzzle pieces who don't fit together.

The best relationships I had required the smallest amount of work. If you gotta go through hell to get a girl to be what you want her to be, then you're dating the wrong person.