Pushed off a HB9 who tried to kiss me - repairable?

[Jariel]

This thread is in reference to this one:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=77111

So I've had a girl flake on me twice and decided to cut her off. I saw her last night and was very cool with her. However, just before she left she came to say goodbye, we chatted a little, then all of a sudden she leaned in and kissed me.

I felt like I'd been messed around by her enough and wasn't having her manipulate me like this so I literally pushed her away and she left.

Anyway, her friend came to explain things to me later and said the reason she has flaked out on me is because she's shy of me (I've sensed this before) and got nervous at the last minute. She'd discussed us going out as a group as it might be a better chance for us to break the ice and get the ball rolling, so to speak. This was the intention of last night, so I feel like a cold bastard right now.

This is one of the hottest women I know and she's been throwing herself at me, so I'm also kicking myself bigtime now.

Apologising and trying to talk about it is a downhill slope with most women, and this one is shy and isn't particularly communicative anyway.

I don't even know where to start or if it's even possible to put this right so any advice would be welcome.

 

[jprjrjr]

Originally posted by Jariel
This thread is in reference to this one:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=77111

So I've had a girl flake on me twice and decided to cut her off. I saw her last night and was very cool with her. However, just before she left she came to say goodbye, we chatted a little, then all of a sudden she leaned in and kissed me.

I felt like I'd been messed around by her enough and wasn't having her manipulate me like this so I literally pushed her away and she left.

Anyway, her friend came to explain things to me later and said the reason she has flaked out on me is because she's shy of me (I've sensed this before) and got nervous at the last minute. She'd discussed us going out as a group as it might be a better chance for us to break the ice and get the ball rolling, so to speak. This was the intention of last night, so I feel like a cold bastard right now.

This is one of the hottest women I know and she's been throwing herself at me, so I'm also kicking myself bigtime now.

Apologising and trying to talk about it is a downhill slope with most women, and this one is shy and isn't particularly communicative anyway.

I don't even know where to start or if it's even possible to put this right so any advice would be welcome.

She's shy, yet she's "all over you"..and moved in for a kiss? Even women who aren't shy usually don't make the first move on a guy. Your story makes no sense.

 

[spider_007]

YOU TAKE CHARGE THEN. SETUP UP SOMETHING WITH ONE OF YOUR AND ONE OF HER FRIENDS (so that there is a group of you) and start talking to her..... and start things SLOWLY...

And what did you get pissed at her for, should have just moved you head back and gave her the "what are you doing look" with a small smile......

If she was the one to move in to kiss you something tells me she isn't as shy as you think...

 

[MindOverMatter]

Hehe damn bro, one thing I've noticed about you is, every 2 months or so you tend to have crazy female drama. Hey, c'est la vie man.

Well in your situation, there are two things that can happen:

1.) Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. She could be really pissed off by the fact you rejected her, and wants revenge. If you make a move on her, she may play a long for a while, only to f*ck you over later as payback for turning her down.

or

2.) The rejection could be a complete blow to her self-esteem, and you have this girl trapped in a state of mind where you can easily manipulate her. She knows that you don't need her, and as a result she has little power over you, while you have a lot of power over here.

My advice, just go and talk to the girl. Explain to her that she lost a lot of points in your book because she flaked on you two times, and that you felt she was playing games with you, being hot one minute, cold another, and that you turned down the kiss because you felt it was just another part of her game. Let her know that if this is how she plans on acting with you, she should see another guy, because you don't have the patience for those games anymore like you used to, and are looking for some maturity in girls you see.

And tell her that while it was nice of her friend to clear up why she was flaking out on you, you would have appreciated it more if she was the one that told you, rather then sending a messenger.

 

[TedJustAdmitIt]

Dunno mate.....like you say talking about it isn't really an option.

Two things spring to my mind.....
1)Tell this mutal friend that the reason you pushed her away is that you don't appreciate being messed around(what with her flaking on you twice and all that)and you thought she was just trying to play you again.She'll then tell her friend and hopefully that'll do the trick or.....
2)Next time you see this woman just be cool with her and act like nothings happened,act the way you were acting before the pushing away incident and see what gives.

Course...both these should be done in a subtle manner that makes it seem like it's no biggie if you get another chance or not.
IMO anything overt is a no-no.

 

[Jariel]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
Hehe damn bro, one thing I've noticed about you is, every 2 months or so you tend to have crazy female drama. Hey, c'est la vie man.

Haha, ain't that the truth! I'm starting to think I might have a weird attraction to it.

Anyway, I appreciate all the input from everyone. You may be right that she's not as shy as she says, but I'll just let her know how I feel about being messed around. I did discuss this with her friend last night so maybe she's already told her.

I don't mind giving this girl a chance just as long as she knows I'm not her puppet. But then again, I'm possibly the first single guy to reject her so like Mindovermatter said, maybe it's given me some power now.

I'll see.

 

[undesputable]

one time this girl i had just met was all over me, she wasnt a 9 she was about an 8 tho. we were sitting on a couch and she tried to put her arm around me, but i pushed her away, i could tell she got really "pissed", and went to her other friend whom she had left talking to for me and gave him a hug. I just laughed, but later in the night she was all over me again. i didnt push her away from me again bc i was just giving her little by little, but this time she was also trying to make out with me, which i did later, and eventually had sex with her.

Anyways point of the story is that i dont think theres anything to repair here. If the girl really likes you shell keep coming back for more. And if shes really a 9 she just wont be able to stand you having rejected her.

 

[Jariel]

Just to clarify this situation. Even though this girl flaked out on our date, she assumed we were still "seeing each other"?!

Apparently, she has never had a one on one date before and her past boyfriends have been guys she has just hung out with and gradually got closer to.

Two of my previous girlfriends had never been on a date either until meeting me, and after talking to some of my friends it seems like a lot of younger women (early 20s) generally don't do the dating thing, but just "hook up" and see if it goes further.

Am I the only one who finds that totally confusing? I guess I might be kind of "seeing" her now, but I'm not even sure what that means or how to deal with it.

 

[spider_007]

Originally posted by Jariel
it seems like a lot of younger women (early 20s) generally don't do the dating thing, but just "hook up" and see if it goes further.

let me be the first one to say "DUHH"

After they have exosted guys in their circle of friends and aquaintances, that's when they start looking elswhere.....

 

[Broham]

Originally posted by Jariel
Just to clarify this situation. Even though this girl flaked out on our date, she assumed we were still "seeing each other"?!

Apparently, she has never had a one on one date before and her past boyfriends have been guys she has just hung out with and gradually got closer to.

Two of my previous girlfriends had never been on a date either until meeting me, and after talking to some of my friends it seems like a lot of younger women (early 20s) generally don't do the dating thing, but just "hook up" and see if it goes further.

Am I the only one who finds that totally confusing? I guess I might be kind of "seeing" her now, but I'm not even sure what that means or how to deal with it.

My God, THE TRUTH HURTS. This, gentlemen, is why we get flaked on so often after cold approaches. Time to expand the social circle.

 

[Trance]

There's something wrong with this picture...

1st - You have 800 posts and ask advice about having a HB9 - the hottest woman you've ever seen all over you, that tryed to kiss you and you pushed her away?!

2nd - She's a shy girl but still all over you and even went in herself for the kiss?!