Pushed myself into the game, made some progress, but...

[lyamdb]

I put my self in a 1 daily approach program, and I made it to overcome my fear. Now I can approach any girl easily! But overcomming the fear is just the first step. I know, in order to make real progress, I'll have to put so much energy into this and try to really improve my approaches. well now, I can go up to any girl, talk some bullsh!t, get rejected and not give a fvck. I just do the approach in order to get rejected, I know beforehand that it is gonna happen, and when it does I don't care. I know this is wrong. I shouldn't start the thing with the knowledge that she's gonna reject me, and I must try my best to not get rejected. but god I'm so depresseed deeply. I really can't try to DIG attitude and BUILD vibes. sometimes I feel what I'm doing is not even approaching, where the hell is this approach-looking thing gonna get me? why should I keep on with it? and so on...
you know what I'm saying? when I'm feeling so lonely and upset and desperate and even paranoid, how can I go out and pretend I'm someting that I'm really not? I think I do really need some help and advice here.

 

[Jackman]

I think the issue here is that a lot of guys put too much pressure on the actual approach, to the point that it turns a simple little situation into a heavily definitive moment on way too many important questions. I mean, within the word "hello" you're immediately expecting feedback on your social skills, your confidence, the state of your mental health, whether or not this girl will sleep with you and so on and so on. That's a lot of pressure, and it's not surprising that "attitude and vibe" suffers as a result and rejection follows close behind.

The truth is that the approach really isn't that critical. When you're looking for a new girl, there's only one thing you need to achieve: the ability to say hello again after you've already said goodbye. That's it. How that happens doesn't matter. You don't always need that perfect vibe, a glowing confirmation and a phone number the first time you talk to a girl, especially when you share a mutual friend, tend to be at the same places, go to the same gym or whatever.

I went to the same bank every week and eventually nailed two of the bank tellers there. The first time I talked to the first one all I said was "Hi, yes and thank you." as she processed my deposit. I hooked up with the other one later on because they were friends and hung out with each other outside of work. I didn't have to run methods or any of that sh1t. I didn't have to worry about saying something stupid because I was nervous. I was never in a sink or swim situation. All I had to do was say a little more to them the next time around. I went almost two years without doing an actual approach and yet dated regularly during that time. Everywhere I went, whenever I saw a cute girl, that's what I did. I worked them up. I can pull a real good one from online too every now and then.

The bottom line here is that many times women don't always reject you, sometimes they're just rejecting the approach, because all it is is a short cut. When you're rejected, all it means is that you suck at taking that short cut, and not that you're unworthy of an existence. If I had tried for the bank teller or her friend's number the first time around, it wouldn't have worked out for me the way it did. I would have moped around and wondered why women don't like me.

Mix it up. Maximize all of your alternatives.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...I can go up to any girl, talk some bullsh!t, get rejected and not give a fvck. I just do the approach in order to get rejected, I know beforehand that it is gonna happen, and when it does I don't care.....

Glad that you realize that this isn't the best attitude to have. Once you can answer your own question about why you should engage women you'll find that you're in a better place for success.

 

[Infraction]

Now, there is a bid diffrence between not giving a **** what happends and "knowing" you will get rejected.
Every time i see a set i say to myself "It doesn't matter what happends" and approach.

Yesterday, I opend a set alone and talked for 7 mins. I asked for a # and got reject so i said "Ok, cool" and moved back with my freinds (i smiled the whole time). After 2 mins the whole 7 girls that were in the set came and ask for my MSN and #.