Push Pull

[Murk]

Hey guys,

Can someone briefly synopsise what this is and could you post some examples of push pull and when it has worked for you?

I'm going on a first date with some girl tonight and usually go in without a plan but I want to try to actively use some techniques, will report back.

Thanks.

 

[Murk]

Thanks, Ive learned that it is coming off cool then spiking with escalation, regardless of you guys (lack of) feedback.

War report to follow, wish me luck.

 

[ohrein]

Good luck.

It's just giving her both positive and negative emotions. The negative emotions should revolve around your frame or correcting poor behavior as these are a way to increase attraction through firmness. It's also about making her the center of your world briefly then going back to your busy life and keeping some space. Women love the anticipation. First date just keep it light. Be funny and bust on her a bit. It shows you're not trying to win her affection with dishonest niceness like the "nice guys" do.

 

[Murk]

Great explanations thanks.

It's safe to say I did not employ ANY of that haha.

We met at 9:30, I was late and apologised we went to a nearby bar for a couple drinks, she had such a gorgeous body her arse was popping out of her jeans I've never seen anything so delicious, she wore some cute heels with them too. Anyway we were just vibing in the bar, made her laugh a bit, went out to smoke, I think I slapped or squeezed her bum which she didn't like, but no major push back on that more a playful hey don't do that (I was quite tipsy). We danced a bit, talked about family, her dad and my mum passed away the same time 2 years ago.

Anyway I told her we were going someone else and to finish her drink which she did. Took her to this cool club where we danced and flirted more, I think, think, I tried to kiss her which got rejected (cringe I know, should stop going on dates after drinking with the guys) but it was not a major issue. She went to the toilet and when she came back I was apparently talking to some other girls, I told her I couldn't find you and you were gone a long time, she seemed quite upset about this, but I played it off and apologised to her. We dance more, more touching, she seems fine with my hands on her at this point. She says she wants to go about 2am, she's going home, she lives with her mum. I tell her to come back to mine, she says no, we kiss, I put her in a cab and meet my boy who I arranged to go out with after (in case I didn't get the bang), we party on until 5am and meet these 20 and 18 year old sisters who we both kiss and chill with, exchange numbers and agree to meet the following weekend.

So I immediately thought as the date didn't wanna bang and rejected my kiss early on that she wasn't interested, so I started talking with other girls and stuff because I'm not wasting my fvcking night on some dumb hoe, but she text me "Hi babe, I just got home" and also this morning was asking how my night with my boy was after, I tell her we partied and got home 6am and she voice notes "... ok that's good then".

I haven't replied, she is actually gorgeous and I want to see her again, the fact she didn't fall to my usual bulldozing and rejected me makes me want her more, but how do I know if it's because if she's a good girl or that she is just not interested in me? She's initiated voicenotes with me this morning. What should my next play be to get her out of get her over to my place.

As an aside, I have a 20 year old hb5.5/6 that wants to come over, I'm actually horny after an unsuccessful weekend and think I should let her come just for the sake of it?

Cheers.

Edit: while typing this war report the date voicenoted me again saying "Hope you didn't think I was rude yesterday, I was just really tired, the club was good but the music was really repetitive, but... I hope I didn't come across rude"

I told her no she wasn't rude and it's fine, I enjoyed spending time with her.

After saying that I immediately cringed to myself lol, gonna try angle a second date mid week.

 

[ohrein]

She's got moderate to high IL (interest level) in my opinion. Seems like maybe she's just screening you as a **** boy? The rejection of the ass grab makes it seem like she wants to be seen as wholesome. I'd expect a lot of push back when escalating but as the guy in the other thread found out, as long as she's still texting and hanging out with you it eventually happens. All you have to do is keep arranging to meet her and keep escalating.

Amante dropped a nice explanation of push/pull and it's impact on IL. You could shorten it even more to just not being predictable. She doesn't like the ass slap so next time you see her, make her laugh and give her a kiss on the cheek then slap her ass. She'll tell you off. You made her happy, loved and then playfully annoyed and pushed your boundaries with her. If she **** tests just smile and play it cool, say you won't do it again with a **** eating grin. Then hold off an another ass slap for a little while. Do it when you think she won't expect it. Text a sweet message between dates one week, then don't the next. Being unpredictable is great for attraction. Women like trying to figure you out and when they can't it's intriguing to them since most guys are just "well he likes me and is nice".

Once girls start saying "you're so hard to read" or "I can't figure you out" you know you're in the zone a little. Be careful you're not pushing too far though or they will drop IL too far.

 

[Murk]

Thanks great post. I'll keep this in mind for our mid week date next week.