Push and pull works (FR)

[Amazing]

Logical steps first.

He needs to get her OUT and stop the lollygagging around.

What, he's supposed to spend another 2 weeks doing this and accomplish WHAT? He can go for a kiss after he's made his intentions TRULY clear. What's the point of getting someone to chase you if you aren't going to act at any point.

Are you clearly suggesting that he should simply keep doing what he's doing?

That's what I don't understand.

It's been TWO WEEKS of this.
I'm pretty sure that if she IS interested, she's already asked herself: Is he going to ask me out or what?

She's not going to do it for him, no matter how much push/pull he does, she's still going to wait for him to be the man and lead.

So far, two weeks and multiple interactions of the same thing are doing nothing but setting a pre-standard. Two more weeks of that, and he'll just be wasting valuable time, both HIS and HERS. That's time that someone else who did just the same as he did but condensed it into a smaller time frame... to come in and take her away in 2 - 3 days.

He needs to act now.

And if it were me, I'd rather ask her to come out with me, two days from now, and then go in for a kiss and LJBFed than wait a few more weeks, try this out and STILL run the risk of wasting my time on a possible LJBF. I don't mess around for too long.

Two weeks is nothing in comparison to a year, but in a situation like this, it can be a lot of time.

You've heard that interest level can change, right?

I'd say right now she is 2/10... you want to ask her when its more like 6/10

I had a chick, she was like 9/10 interested..then it went to 3/10 until i played good game and now its back to 8/10 or higher...


whats the point of asking out a girl who isn't that interested? to simply see where she stands?

I say have fun with it and then when she is giving you the "I THINK I LIKE HIM" looks then go for it....reluctantly

 

[yuppaz]

Jahovas witnesses don't F*CK guys unless they too are Jehovas witnesses and are married! Don't waste your effort

 

[Dante420]

Fully reading the DJ Bible soon

 

[Darth]

Worked with her this morning. She showed up late as if it was no big deal and her interest level was around a 1. I basically insulted her and acted like a jerk the whole time, and by the end she's really attracted, and apologized to me for not being very good at things before she left. Groundwork is laid, so tomorrow when I see her again I will go for it directly.

 

[Amazing]

I say keep going with it, don't reel it early in or it might snap

you know she's ready when:

she is asking you a lot of questions about YOU

she is touching you often

looking at you a lot

calling you to hang out

 

[Darth]

Wow....

So the project is over, and I put my hand on her shoulder and ask, "How would you like to go out with me sometime."

She looks shocked.

"Why not?" I smiled. Nothing. "Why not?" Nothing. "Come on." Silence. "I mean, you don't have to..."

She smiled and said "I thought you hated my guts!!" (OK, so maybe laid the insults on a little thick)

"No, just some of what you said!"

She said, "I've never dated anyone in my life."

Me: "I don't believe you!"

Biut she insisted.

Me: "Well, that's no fun at all."

And then I criticized Jehovah's witnesses for about a minute, then gave her a kiss on the cheek and a hug and said, "Have a great summer." She grabbed my hand and squeezed, and then left.

-------

So, another failure. At least this wasn't my fault (I don't think).

 

[teacha]

...guess push & pull didn't work here .

oh btw never criticize someone about their beliefs/religion etc just because you don't believe in them.

edit: oh yea it was entirely your fault.

 

[Amazing]

Wow....

So the project is over, and I put my hand on her shoulder and ask, "How would you like to go out with me sometime."

She looks shocked.

"Why not?" I smiled. Nothing. "Why not?" Nothing. "Come on." Silence. "I mean, you don't have to..."

She smiled and said "I thought you hated my guts!!" (OK, so maybe laid the insults on a little thick)

"No, just some of what you said!"

She said, "I've never dated anyone in my life."

Me: "I don't believe you!"

Biut she insisted.

Me: "Well, that's no fun at all."

And then I criticized Jehovah's witnesses for about a minute, then gave her a kiss on the cheek and a hug and said, "Have a great summer." She grabbed my hand and squeezed, and then left.

-------

So, another failure. At least this wasn't my fault (I don't think).

Oh god I cringed. Dude, you don't need to be in a relationship, you have a lot of work to do.


So she hasn't dated anyone, HERE IS YOUR CHANCE GIRL!!

And you rip on her again WHY? Because she wouldn't go out with you? What kind of insecure b1tch are you!?


here is how it should work:



walk up, look at her and say "hey X, I have something very important to tell you, and i need you to give me an answer"

her -??????

you - ok, this is a HUGE deal to me, so please be honest

her -?????

you - "what kind of ice cream is better, chocolate, or vanilla?"

her -LOL

you - LOL

her - blah blah vanilla

you - LOL, no way I hate vanilla, you are terrible at this.

her - punches you in the arm

you - "hey i wanna go bowling tomorrow, why dont you come with lets see what your A game looks like"





Look , you just basically killed contact with her for good.... school's over bud.


now if you got her number before hand then it would be all good...but you are left with your d1ck in your pants at this point

chalk this up as experience and learn from this, do better next time




and yeah i've been there too

i walked up to a chick in the middle of gym class and said "hey lets go out"

she didn't really reply so i was like "KHABSDLADALKSDNS damnit!!"


i then started doing better, by the end of the year she was chasing me around the gym

 

[Darth]

1. I DO have her phone number.
2. Some say go indirect, others say that would be the wussy way and I should go direct.

I thought I was supposed to make a move. Well that's exactly what I did. I grabbed her with both hands, turned her around, and said why don't we go out some time, with a smile.

You had to be there...she very clearly liked me, but didn't want to. I asked why not?

Then she said she's never dated anybody....AND (I left this part out) she would never do casual dating because it's against the Jehovah's Witnesses.

And that's why I started challenging her on that again. Then I find out that Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Christmas, or birthdays, or any holidays. What kind of religion is this? It's a cult or something.

To this, I said, 'That's no fun at all." Then I kissed her anyway and we said goodbye.

What's so bad about that?

I still say it's not my fault. I genuinely believe I worked this one well. Some girls are undatable...at least I have a new female friend

 

[Amazing]

1. I DO have her phone number.
2. Some say go indirect, others say that would be the wussy way and I should go direct.

I thought I was supposed to make a move. Well that's exactly what I did. I grabbed her with both hands, turned her around, and said why don't we go out some time, with a smile.

You had to be there...she very clearly liked me, but didn't want to. I asked why not?

Then she said she's never dated anybody....AND (I left this part out) she would never do casual dating because it's against the Jehovah's Witnesses.

And that's why I started challenging her on that again. Then I find out that Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Christmas, or birthdays, or any holidays. What kind of religion is this? It's a cult or something.

To this, I said, 'That's no fun at all." Then I kissed her anyway and we said goodbye.

What's so bad about that?

I still say it's not my fault. I genuinely believe I worked this one well. Some girls are undatable...at least I have a new female friend

yeah, actually ask her to introduce you to some other girls.

and honestly, i would ask if it's cool to fvck in her cult traditions

 

[Igetit!]

So it didn't work out. Oh well,no big deal. Plenty of other girls out there.

Even though you didn't get to date this girl,you can at least learn from the experience to see what you can do improve on the next time you're interested in someone.


And there were a couple of things I saw that needed to be adressed,with the MAIN ONE being waiting two weeks to finally ask her out.


That's simply too miuch time dude. You should have been on her the 1st day,2 days at a minimum.

Wow....

So the project is over, and I put my hand on her shoulder and ask, "How would you like to go out with me sometime."

Well the "how would you like to go out with me sometime" line is too tame,too afcish. I'm more of like,"So,when are we going out?".

That way I already assumed that she's interested,and that we're just trying to decide on a time.

She looks shocked.

So when you asked her out,she "looked shocked".

This reminds me of what I said in reply #18. I said....

So when you do ask her out,if she seems somewhat "surprised" or "shocked",then you might want to opt out of that "cat and mouse" game you've been playing and try a more direct approach."

I kinda figured she'd be suprised by you asking her out because you failed to make your interest clearly known to her. Seems like you got stuck on insulting her,and never showed your sexual interest,and when you finally did,it took her by surprise.

"Why not?" I smiled. Nothing. "Why not?" Nothing. "Come on." Silence. "I mean, you don't have to..."

This was just flat out BAD dude. You just lost it here. It was like all your confidence and security just flew out the window.

You went from asking her out to a bit of begging/pleading.

Come on now Darth,you're better than that.

She smiled and said "I thought you hated my guts!!" (OK, so maybe laid the insults on a little thick)

Wow,she said that she thought you hated her guts. I don't think I've ever heard a girl say something like that in response to being asked out by a guy,lol. :crackup:


If that was the understanding she had of you based off of knowing you for 2 weeks,then you might want to go back and have a look at how you interacted with this girl.



A girl thinking you're not interested is one thing,but her thinking that you hate her guts??? Umm....you might want to correct that Darth.

At least this wasn't my fault (I don't think).

Like Teacha said,yes,it was your fault. Not the rejection,because that's out of our hands. All we can do is present our best selves to women and they'll either be interested or not,but the mistakes you made were 100% yours to own.


The...

waiting 2 weeks to ask her out
insulting her to the point of her thinking you hate her
the falling apart while waiting for a respond from her after asking her out....


that's all on YOU,but really,this isn't that big of a deal.


You just need to tight up some loose ends,and you should be ok.


Editleeeease drop that "female friend" crap.

 

[Kailex]

#1: Push/Pull does work, but intentions need to be made clear. It's not simply doing it for the sake of doing it. Yes, they love the emotional tug-of-war, but it was clearly going nowhere as soon as I read it had taken so much time and no progress was made. No REAL progress.

#2: Darth played it well, up until the point he took too long.

#3: She used religion as her "OUT" in this case.

#4:

"Why not?" I smiled. Nothing. "Why not?" Nothing. "Come on." Silence. "I mean, you don't have to..."

Wow, just... wow. You lost all 2 weeks of wasted time and "push/pull" in 2 minutes. Whatever frame you had, you just flushed away.

If she would have REALLY liked you, she wouldn't have used her religion as an excuse to not go out with you. It's convinient for them to always have an excuse, because that way they don't have to reject you outright. Push/pull DOES work, the title of the OP is right, but in this case, it didn't simply because of the timing. If you keep doing the same thing over and over, it just gets drawn out.

It shouldn't have gone past the 2nd day of contact to which then you should have asked her. By doing push/pull repeatedly, it gave her THIS conclusion:

She smiled and said "I thought you hated my guts!!" (OK, so maybe laid the insults on a little thick)

I commend you though, you tried. Many other people would have just given up or never even asked.

 

[Darth]

Again, emotion doesn't really come across in text, but I was smiling all through this:

"Why not?" I smiled. Nothing. "Why not?" Nothing. "Come on." Silence. "I mean, you don't have to..."

I mean I was more playful there than a nervous wreck.

EDIT: But thank you guys. You're right. I waited too long. But now I've learned something and I won't repeat this next time.

 

[zekko]

Seems like you got stuck on insulting her,and never showed your sexual interest

The OP has probably been reading these threads that are telling you that all you have to do to interest a girl is treat her like sh!t. Don't believe everything you read. Anyway, sounds like he was all push and no pull.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Jahovas witnesses don't F*CK guys unless they too are Jehovas witnesses and are married! Don't waste your effort

This is the best advice you're gonna get. Jehovah's Witnesses don't date and only marry other Jehovah's Witnesses.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

And that's why I started challenging her on that again. Then I find out that Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Christmas, or birthdays, or any holidays. What kind of religion is this? It's a cult or something.

Yes, they are a Doomsday Cult. Jehovah's Witnesses consider secular society to be morally corrupt and under the influence of Satan. They limit their social interaction with non-Witnesses to prevent corruption of the flock.

They don't celebrate holidays because they have pagan origins. They also refuse blood transfusions, won't vote, refuse to state the pledge of allegiance, and refuse to serve in the military or defend their country even in life threatening situations.


Jehovah's Witnesses believe the world order is in its last days and will soon be destroyed at Armageddon. It has stated that only Jehovah's Witnesses "have any Scriptural hope of surviving the impending end of this doomed system", but that God will ultimately decide who will survive. Those whom God chooses to save—survivors and resurrected individuals—will have the opportunity to live forever in an earthly paradise, ruled by Christ and 144,000 humans raised to heaven.