Pursuing a girl with a boyfriend

[Parachute]

Here's the rundown:
This girl has worked for my family for years
I've had a thing for her since hs (college now)
She recently added me on fbook, and started chatting me up
She gave me her number, and she's been talking to me non stop for 2 weeks
She has a boyfriend, but I didn't know this until a few days ago
She says that she's tried to end things with him, but she feels so bad about it, but she thinks it will end when she transfers schools to where I am
She decided to work on valentines day instead of go out with him
She took off work this afternoon to go to a movie and eat with me.

I've never been in this situation before. Today went well, but I didn't make a move because I didn't feel comfortable since she's "taken" technically.

I texted her when I got back telling her I wanted to do it again, and she said she did too and told me i didn't have to pay for her, and i told her I wanted to, she asked why, and I said because I liked her. Then she asked why I wanted to see her, and I said because I've had a thing for her for a while and I want to take her to dinner, then she asked what do you mean? and i said I mean I want to take you on a date. and she said: But it can't technically be a date because i'm not technically single, and I said: It could be an untechnical one.

Anybody have any advice on what I should do or her intentions? I'm confident she's interested in me, but she's "dating" some guy she never sees or talks to.

 

[Igetit!]

Personally I think you should LEAVE HER ALONE and go find someone available to date. You're a grown man,you can do as you please,but that's just my opinion.


Anyway,let's look at a few things you said here. Check out what I put in bold.

Here's the rundown:
This girl has worked for my family for years
I've had a thing for her since hs (college now)
She recently added me on fbook, and started chatting me up
She gave me her number, and she's been talking to me non stop for 2 weeks

You said she's been talking to you NON-STOP for 2 weeks. About what? And I mean what EXACTLY. The fact that you've been talking to each other for so long isn't good my friend.

She says that she's tried to end things with him, but she feels so bad about it,

Ok....What she said about trying to break things off with her BF,how did YOU know about that? Are you discussing her relationship with ANOTHER MAN with her?

Again...that's NOT GOOD man. You're talking about her and another dude instead of her and YOU. That's friendzone territory.

She took off work this afternoon to go to a movie and eat with me.

I've never been in this situation before. Today went well, but I didn't make a move because I didn't feel comfortable since she's "taken" technically.

So you didn't feel comfortable making any movies on her,but you were cool taking her out on what was essentually a date.

Ok.

I texted her when I got back telling her I wanted to do it again, and she said she did too and told me i didn't have to pay for her,

Yeah,I think this chick was starting to "sense" something more than just a "hang out". That's why she told you you didn't have to pay for her. She didn't want to feel obligated to have to give anything back in return.

and i told her I wanted to, she asked why, and I said because I liked her.

You told her you "liked her". 99% of the time,that KILLS any interest on the girl's part. If she did have any interest in you,that one statement probably killed it.

Then she asked why I wanted to see her, and I said because I've had a thing for her for a while and I want to take her to dinner, then she asked what do you mean?

Huh. She asked you WHY you wanted to see her,asked you WHY you wanted to pay for her when you two hung out,added you on FaceBook,gave you her number,talked to you for two weeks straight,all that.....then when you told her you had a thing for her,she went "What do you mean"?

Dude...she CAN'T BE that naive.

and i said I mean I want to take you on a date. and she said: But it can't technically be a date because i'm not technically single, and I said: It could be an untechnical one.

Now this is interesting......You told her you wanted to take her on a date,and she said that it "technically" can't be a date since she's not single.
She didn't say "NO",she just changed the word "date" to something else.


Ok dude......IF SHE AGREES to go out with you on this....whatever it is you two wanna call it,you're going to HAVE TO make a move. You can't just keep going out and spending money on her without her giving anything back to you,and I mean on a romantic/sexual level.


If you do,you're either gonna get friendzoned,or become her "surrogate boyfriend",when means she'll run to you to get her emotional needs met,while giving up the tail to her boyfriend. You're going to have to make some sort of move eventually.


SOMEBODY'S gonna get it on with this chick. It'll be her boyfriend,you,or some other dude,but SOMEBODY'S going to do it. Wouldn't you feel stupid pouring all your time,effort,energy,and MONEY into this girl only to have her give herself to another guy?



Either DO SOMETHING or move on.

 

[Parachute]

No, we don't ever talk about her boyfriend. She's mentioned him ONCE. The day before valentines day. She said she wasn't interested in him anymore, and she thinks things will end when she transfers schools. She told me this because she was complaining that she didn't have anything to do on valentine's day, so she decided to work. Then I told her she should be my valentine, and she agreed, and I told her to take off work and we'd go see this movie she wanted to see, and she said she'd take off saturday (today) to see it with me.

To the second part, yeah, it was a strange, new situation to be in.

I agree with the "she can't be that naive" part. She's not naive. She just wanted to hear me say it.

Thanks for the response. Maybe that info helps some more

 

[nismo-4]

Your princess is so in another castle, and i cringed when you said you liked her. You don't say that sh*t. Guilty as charged. You need to just pay your fine of 2 blue balls and move the hell on.

Case closed.