I know a guy named Tony. A guy I met through a friend of mine. The kid (he's 20) has issues. But his problem is the single reason why most people don't get it.
first of all, for the problems that he has, he has some unique talents; he's an excellent and I mean EXCELLENT gutarist. He also speaks fluent italain.. not very many 20 year olds can speak italian.
He has extremely low self esteem. He goes into these funks.. and I mean that literarly, where he won't take baths, wont' wash clothes, won't brush his teeth. all he cares about is how everyone doesn't like him.
I talk to him, he asks me questions. Anything. it can be holw do you make fried chicken, and I can say "man you gotta throw the chicken in the mud first.." and he will say "yeah man.. that's cool"...
it's not he's not listening. I tell him. you aren't going to feel better about yourself until you start taking care of yourself. wash your ass EVERY day. shave. when you get 50 extra bucks, stop buying DVD's so you can be seculded in your room, go buy some floss and some new socks and everyday normal people **** so you can be apart of regular society. "yeah man.. that' s cool".. then goes back to square one, doing the same crap he did in the first place
1. he feels like crap because he looks to other people for validation. NO one wil lvalidate a low self esteem having crusty skinny guy with bad skin and wrinkled clothesand smelly breath. Because he doesn't think no one cares, he doesn't care. and the cycle goes on.
He is the reason why you have to learn how to be happy without women. BEggars can't be choosers. he is definatly a begger.
Life is very, very, very fun if you stop looking at women all damn day. dont' get me wrong, I like ass alot, but I had to realize that I like living just a tinny bit more.
think of it this way, when you ar eliving and not worried about what people say or do to you, it's the never ending spinning plate. it won't ever dump you. won't ever leave you. won't ever stand you up on a date. won't ever **** your best friend.
Good lip service huh?
HOW!!! do you not care. I know. it's one thing to say it. it's another thing to actually not care.
Well, I'm not a doctor. I can tell you what worked for me. and It's a journey not a destination. I'm still working on it at times.
1) READ BOOKS ABOUT THE SUBJECT. I found out one day that they make books NoT by Dave DeAngelo, Ross Jefferies and Neil Strauss. they contain some pretty wild ****, like how to build your self esteem, and hwo to deal with other people. Man...
seriously though, read books on the subject. The book called "Self-Esteem" was one of the most helpful books I ever read.
2) Find out exactly what you dont' like about yourself. What have you done int he past to people that was so bad? Why do yo not like yourself?
I had a life long chip on my sholder, that I had to let go.
3) find out WHO you are...
Who ae you? Besides So and So's Girlfriend and So and so's son? What do you like? If you could do something all day long, what would it be? How do you people see you? How do people see you? is what they see, what you see, and what you ARE all the same? the closer thoose 3 are, the happier you will be in the long run.
I'm a guy who loves horse racing and likes to read. While I like to think I'm good with women, i have my flaws and quirks.. I know I can't be the Guy who is club hopping every night, becuase I don't like being around people that much, so I don't ever see myself as that therefore I dont' get down on myself when I am like that.
I'm in shape, GREAT shape, but I'm not going to win a bodybuilder award anytime soon becuase i like good food. as long as I can take my shirt off and not be ashamed I like me.
Me becoming myself and being comfortable in my own skin had alot to do with me being honest with myself. It's hard not to be in shape when you workout 5 days a week, but when I used to start working out, I would look at guys in the gym and see them RIPPED to HELL and get mad because I wasn't like that. Well... I stopped comparing myself because when I go home and there is a home made sweet potato pie sitting on the kitchen table, I'm about to go beatrix kiddo on it. I can take my Girlfriend out to eat a couple of times a week, and actually order what the hell I want and not feel shame in eating a plate full of shrimp fried rice and 2-4 egg rolls. but i know I can't do that 5-6 nights a week also.
Anyway, I gotta run
