Punishing a LTR

[Chromeo]

Basically, I dont have too much problem getting girls but I have trouble keeping them. Obviously the most difficult problem for all. After you get rid of oneitis and AFC mentality comes the question how do you punish a LTR girl when she does something you dont like.

Obviously you dont just break up with a girl every time she pisses you off, real AFC.

So how do you punish the girl when she does something you dont like, without coming off as an AFC cry baby?

My last girlfriend once left me at a bar cuz she blacked out (she had been KNOWN to do that but I wouldnt tolerate it) so I broke up with her. Proceeded to take her back a few days later because she appologised. You cant break up for every little thing, every relationship is a challenge, so how would I have punished her? Or you guys think thats really a dumpable offense?

If so what small problems have you had with your girls and how have you punished them?

OR

Should losing your oneitis and AFC mentality already lead her to treating you like prince charming? And any offense deamed just cause for dumping her?

 

[L B]

I wouldn't say punish, but I don't tolerate crap from anyone who disrespect my time and company. Different people will have different approaches. When my girl is out of line and she doesn't apologize for it, she goes home. Simply as that. When I make a mistake, I will admit it. I expect that from all my relationships.

 

[OMGWTFLMAO]

You never get the results you want by being punitive with a woman. If you're smart you will learn how make her want to please you. "Punishing" her will only cause her to punish you for punishing her and you end up in a never ending circle of negativity and drama until the relationship ends. You'll get further by rewarding her for doing things you like, then she will do what you like more often.

 

[vatoloco]

My last girlfriend once left me at a bar cuz she blacked out (she had been KNOWN to do that but I wouldnt tolerate it) so I broke up with her.

Are you telling us that she blacked out from drinking? Sounds like a great girl! If that was the case, I'd have to sat that if she really cared about you or the relationship (or had common sense for that matter), she wouldn't have gotten so drunk. I would have just left her there and would never call her again. NC for the crazies I say.

Proceeded to take her back a few days later because she appologised.

And right there was your problem. You basically told her "it's okay to stick it me sweetheart. As long as you apologize, you can fvck the whole football team!"

You cant break up for every little thing, every relationship is a challenge, so how would I have punished her? Or you guys think thats really a dumpable offense?

It's really up to you. Personally, I don't get disrespected like that (being left) so I'd just dump her a$$.

But that's just crazy ol' me.

 

[Chromeo]

Obvioiusly im not talking about physical punishment. But if your girl does you wrong how do you make her know its not alright and will not be tolerated?

When my girl is out of line and she doesn't apologize for it, she goes home.

what do you mean she goes home? Then what after that? everything is peachy the next day?

You never get the results you want by being punitive with a woman. If you're smart you will learn how make her want to please you. "Punishing" her will only cause her to punish you for punishing her and you end up in a never ending circle of negativity and drama until the relationship ends. You'll get further by rewarding her for doing things you like, then she will do what you like more often.

obviously but im asking, when she does you wrong what do you do? Are you saying let all negatives slide? and too many negatives = a next?

And right there was your problem. You basically told her "it's okay to stick it me sweetheart. As long as you apologize, you can fvck the whole football team!"

absolutely not. So can you never accept an apology from a woman? I dont think its really an end all be all like that in all cases.

It's really up to you. Personally, I don't get disrespected like that (being left) so I'd just dump her a$$.

But that's just crazy ol' me.

so your saying your on a one strike policy then? I definitely don't like people disrespecting me like that, definitely not my girl. Which is why I made such a big deal about it when she did that and told her peace out. But she cried and said she would never do it again.

and again im just using that as an example, im asking about in general, if your girlfriend pisses you off, how do you make sure she knows you dont tolerate that cr*p without being mr. circle of negativity?

 

[vatoloco]

So can you never accept an apology from a woman? I dont think its really an end all be all like that in all cases.

Just like you said. It's not applicable to all cases. But in a case like the one you've alluded to (you still haven't said whether what I mentioned -- she abandoned you at a bar after she passed out from too much alcohol -- is the correct situation), I would not accept an apology. NEXT!

so your saying your on a one strike policy then? I definitely don't like people disrespecting me like that, definitely not my girl. Which is why I made such a big deal about it when she did that and told her peace out. But she cried and said she would never do it again.

Women start the waterworks when they want to get their way. If you're going to be efficiently dealing with women, you're gonna have to become immune to them. The tears, that is.

and again im just using that as an example, im asking about in general, if your girlfriend pisses you off, how do you make sure she knows you dont tolerate that cr*p without being mr. circle of negativity?

It depends on the offense. "Sorry for being 20 minutes to our date honey! Traffic was crazy!" "Sure, no prob." Put it in the back of your mind. Continue.

She starts to [validly] piss you off, cut the time/money you spend on her. "Hey sweetie, listen. I can't see you again until you stop [insert whatever it is that it's pissing you off here]" Make sure it's a VALID complaint and not something petty or AFC-y.

She kisses/fvcks some other guy and/or blatantly disrespects you, dude you got problems. Of course, if she apologizes, you should marry her!

What is it exactly that this girl is doing that's pissing you off? If it's passing out at the bar, well, you know what to do...

 

[bukowski_merit]

If a woman fears losing you - she WILL NOT do things that could jeopardize your relationship.

She fears losing someone who:

1) She doesn't want to lose (DUH! but if she really could care less if you are in her life or not - you have NO POWER to tell her to do anything).
2) She feels could walk out of her life at any time.
3) Is good with women.


---
I think your biggest mistake was getting involved emotionally with a woman who isn't worthy of those emotions.

So, as a general rule - if you're bad at controlling your emotions - date better quality women.

If a woman im with gets too drunk, blacks out, leaves the bar, and dissapears - im either gaming other women in the bar or calling up another woman to go fvck. I AM NOT going to sit there and be pissed off.

When i see her again - it'll be a week later and the issue will not be brought up. Why? Because at best a woman of that quality is fvck buddy status... And i have minimum emotions tied into fvck buddies...

---

As far as your question looked at in a general way:

Punish bad behavior. Reward good behavior.

Repeat that to yourself 100 times...

If she's on good behavior and being a great girl around you - you better be damn sure that she's having fun and isn't bored...

Because if you're boring her, and not providing her emotional responses - BAD BEHAVIOR IS A GUARANTEE....

To me - crying and apologizing is bad behavior... it's manipulation at it's worse..... The tears and words are just there to get you back...

I WOULD NEVER take a woman back under those circumstances...

BAD BEHAVIOR = SPANKING

not literally.... but you either withdraw your attention, time, or your sex (assuming it's good enough that she'll miss it).

trying to be all logical with her and explain to her things is the WORSE idea ever..... It doesn't work and is bull**** feminine "explain your feelings and how she makes you feel" BS! Be a rock... Be a man.... fvck other women. Yeah, it's that simple.


She breaks your happiness - she wins....


Have other women, and none of this matters much.


Whenever i only have 1 woman in my life, i always find myself caring wayyyy too much what she does.

When i have many - none of it matters.... it's all fun...