Pulling is easy, it's the pushing I need help with

[Kenny Powers]

When your talking to a girl and have shown interest in her, what is the best way to send mixed signals and make her question whether you like her. Push Pull essentially.

I'm in college and my main place for picking up girls is at house parties. Like I said pulling is easy. I smile, use kino, flirt, and just show an interest in them. Now the pushing is where i struggle. Sometimes I worry girls can read me too easily, so I need subtle ways to throw them off and make them work for my attention.

So far all i do is either interrupt our conversation to say hi to someone or just end it and walk away. This works sometimes, but the problem is that now even if she now wants my attention she might get distracted by another guy or just seek it from someone else. Also, I can't just walkaway every-time i want to push. I want her trying to impress me and earn my attention during our conversation. I find simply busting her balls in a ****y funny way isn't always enough to send mixed signals and throw her off since a lot of guys do this.

Any ideas? I want her wondering why I suddenly don't like her without insulting her with a harsh neg

 

[Onlyliveonce]

No harsh neg. Your pride was hurt when she backed off. Never take anything personal with women. Your goal is to be with her, you haven't done it yet. Don't act all hurt be indifferent but polite. And most of all play it cool

 

[teacha]

deal with multiple women.

 

[Ease]

Push pull is mainly something you do after you hook up. For the back and forth interactions.

In a situation like you described, some girls are up for it, some are not. If she is flirting back and showing you shes up for it, you will be in. But in the end the girls are the choosers, and if shes not up for it theres not a great deal you can do. Simple talking flirting and touching is enough more often than not.

 

[Igetit!]

When your talking to a girl and have shown interest in her, what is the best way to send mixed signals and make her question whether you like her. Push Pull essentially.

Well one way to send a mixed message would be to neg her about something. Another thing to do would be to show interest in the girl,then go and flirt with another girl,but what is your goal here?


Are you trying to play games,or get a date with the girl?

This statement of yours here....

When your talking to a girl and have shown interest in her...

What do you mean by that? What EXACTLY have you done or said to show interest in her?


Also,you said that you want to make the girl "wonder" if you're interested in her or not. Uhhh....why? What's that supposed to do?



Like Ease said,the whole "push-pull" thing isn't for during the approach.

I'm in college and my main place for picking up girls is at house parties. Like I said pulling is easy. I smile, use kino, flirt, and just show an interest in them. Now the pushing is where i struggle.


Sometimes I worry girls can read me too easily, so I need subtle ways to throw them off and make them work for my attention.

I think I understand what you're trying to say here,but you seem to have a misunderstanding.


"Like" and "attraction" are different. It's ok to let a girl know you're attracted to her when you first approach her,but letting her know you "like" her will most likely turn her off. The difference is this.....



"Attraction" is instant. If I see a girl walking down the street who has a pretty face and big boobs,then bam,I'm attracted. I don't know the girl,have never spoken to her,don't know her name or anything else about her.

She may be crazy for all I know,all I know is I see this hot girl walking down the street and she turns me on.

That's "attraction"


"Like" has more to do with a person's personality. Emotions get involved. Once I talk to someone and get kind of a sense of who they are,then I'm more apt to like them.



If you let a girl know you "like" her when you hardly know her,or during the approach,that's when girls seem to loose interest because it's like there's no challenge. It's like you've known her 2 seconds,and she already has you won over EMOTIONALLY. You'll also increase the chances of her going attention wh0re on you because you'll unintentionally boost her ego.



Letting her know you're "attracted" to her is ok because it's not deep,it's surface. You could just as easily turn around as see another girl just as hot and be attracted to her as well. Women know that.



You can turn your head and be attracted to another girl in a second ,but you CAN'T just look at another girl and be EMOTIONALLY INVESTED/CONNECTED to her.

That's why you hear a lot of guys saying things like,"You can't let a girl know you like her,because the second you do,she loses interest." That's true,but it's because they go about showing their interest the wrong way.

Also, I can't just walkaway every-time i want to push. I want her trying to impress me and earn my attention during our conversation. I find simply busting her balls in a ****y funny way isn't always enough to send mixed signals and throw her off since a lot of guys do this.

Well the "mixed signals" will work best AFTER there's some type of connection made with the girl. You can talk to her,get better aquainted with her,then once she thinks she starting to get a sense of who you are,then you change directions on her,that'll help peak her interest,but like I said earlier,it all really depends on what your goal is.


"Push-Pull" doesn't cause interest. It doesn't make a girl attracted to you. It'll help stir the emotions ALREADY PRESENT that you created,but it won't make them.


I think you'd be better off trying to find different ways of displaying your value than finding different ways to push/pull.

 

[Nexus Polaris]

You're still focusing too much on techniques and not enough on mentality. Basically, you're still flirting like a girl. No offense. There's too much "am I doing this right?" "what should I do next?" "does she like me yet?" Micromanagement is a self-defeating approach. You'll usually come across as tentative, awkward, and unsure of yourself. And even if you do succeed, a guy with a sound mind can pretty easily swoop in and take your girl because he's not trying to micromanage. He's just being a natural guy.

The proper ratio of push/pull happens naturally when you have a healthy level of self respect and you're being your genuine self. You see a girl you're attracted to and your natural response is to smile/flirt/whatever (pull). Then, because you have high standards, your next response is to get to know her to make sure she's what you're really looking for (push). Right now, all you know about her is that she's hot. So what. You don't know anything else about her yet. She could be a complete idiot, a psycho, or a drama queen for all you know. Might even have herpes. I've met a lot of stupid, crazy, hot girls with STDs. You shouldn't just automatically give her a free pass to ride your d1ck because she's eye candy. You should have other qualifications that you expect her to meet. This creates natural push.

If looks are all you demand out of your women, then you don't have a very high level of self respect because what you're basically saying is that you will put up with anything from a woman no matter how unpleasant as long as she looks good. The subcommunication here that you're telling yourself in your head is that a hot girl liking you is such a scarce occurrance that you can't afford to turn one away no matter how lame she might be as a person. Because you don't believe you can just turn around and get a better one at any time.

The abundance mindset that hot women who will like you are everywhere is what frees you to relax and be the real you and accept nothing but the best from the women that you approach. It is absolutely necessary for real, long-term success with hot women.

 

[Jariel]

deal with multiple women.

Amen!

Women are indecisive and guaranteed to go cold from time to time. Always have a backup or 5 ready for these times.

 

[Kenny Powers]

Thanks a lot of the advice guys really appreciate it, but I think there are some things I need to clarify.

I guess push/pull might not have been the right term for this situation. I understand how to use push/pull once a relationship has already been established (blew off a sure thing at 2am and it made her crazy for me), but how do you do something similar when you cold approach a girl.

Approaching a girl already indicates a level of interest in her and gives her the power. At a party how do I establish my self as a challenge when she has 5 other guys hitting on her that night. I understand the mentality part and have been working on that. I workout, have a high level of confidence, don't get hung up on one girl, next when necessary, and spin lots of plates. However, when your talking to a girl for the first time I find that just being confident sometimes isn't enough.

I admit that I may be over thinking this but im in college and go to a lot of house parties and have struggled to pull girls in this environment. Girls love being attention *****s at parties and i'm good at giving them the attention but bad at pulling it away and making them crave more. Girls seem to have ADD at parties and it can be difficult to talk to them for that long and establish a rapport.

I know there is no magic cure to pull girls at parties and am just looking for some advice and insight on how to succeed at house parties and get girls to see you as a challenge in a fast paced and highly competitive environment like a party. Thanks again

 

[WhatdoyoumeanAIDS]

Thanks a lot of the advice guys really appreciate it, but I think there are some things I need to clarify.

I guess push/pull might not have been the right term for this situation. I understand how to use push/pull once a relationship has already been established (blew off a sure thing at 2am and it made her crazy for me), but how do you do something similar when you cold approach a girl.

Approaching a girl already indicates a level of interest in her and gives her the power. At a party how do I establish my self as a challenge when she has 5 other guys hitting on her that night. I understand the mentality part and have been working on that. I workout, have a high level of confidence, don't get hung up on one girl, next when necessary, and spin lots of plates. However, when your talking to a girl for the first time I find that just being confident sometimes isn't enough.

I admit that I may be over thinking this but im in college and go to a lot of house parties and have struggled to pull girls in this environment. Girls love being attention *****s at parties and i'm good at giving them the attention but bad at pulling it away and making them crave more. Girls seem to have ADD at parties and it can be difficult to talk to them for that long and establish a rapport.

I know there is no magic cure to pull girls at parties and am just looking for some advice and insight on how to succeed at house parties and get girls to see you as a challenge in a fast paced and highly competitive environment like a party. Thanks again

what do you do at a party 5 other ****s. This is what you do. Go up to her and put your arm around her, get physical with kino (nothing sexual yet if your starting things up; i mean friendly physical). Joke around, tease her, etc. laugh with the other 5 guys.

Then, after maybe 5 min., take your hand off her and pretend "push" her hip away (DON'T actually push her body, just place your cupped hand on her hip and pretend like your pushing her away) and then go talk to some other group. 9/10 she will come looking for you and forget the other guys if you played it smooth. escalate kino at this point, and you'll have her naked in bed later that night.