Pulling girls from a Club..opinions please

[spiegel549]

What up what up boys? So I have been going real hard Thursday-Sunday the past month and a half. Really pushing to get myself out of this funk I was in. I am feeling real good now, back to taking care of myself before anyone, hitting the GYM, eating healthy, going out with old friends male/female, feeling real good.

I just celebrated my 26th Birthday in Vegas. It was a great time. Now when I roll out I drink casual beers, I rarely get drunk. My game with talking with chicks has always been ten times better while sober.

I can't tell if I have been playing it right when I am at these clubs. I was banging this cute college girl for a while and when that ended I started pushing hard to pull some club girls.

I approach friendly, aggressive, sober, I dance real well, dress real well, and I am in great shape. I always end up dancing with a few different cute girls, get them laughing, hook up a bit, but I can't seem to seal the deal.

Two things have been happening and I can't get to the bottom of it...

1) I dance with the girl all night, make out, get really sexual with the Kino and then when it comes to getting in a cab or going back to her place/my place it always falls through. She can't leaver girlfriends, she has to leave with her friend, this or that.

2.) I get her number, wait a day or 2 to hit them up, and after I do they never get back to me.

I feel like I am getting to that point/age were I would like a nice GF to enjoy going dancing with, going to the movies with on a weekend, and not always doing the single club boys night. Unfortunately I realize I am not going to meet a girl in a club that I can take too seriously..

Am I just going through a funk right now? What do you guys think? I wouldn't be like this if I was pulling a girl every weekend lol but I play my cards so right I just can't seem to seal the deal at the club!!!

Some brotherly guidance please

 

[Vice]

Go outside and have sex with them outdoors while they are still in a crazy mood. They aren't as wild and crazy a few days later when you call them, and you'll just be "club guy number three".

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

What up what up boys? So I have been going real hard Thursday-Sunday the past month and a half. Really pushing to get myself out of this funk I was in. I am feeling real good now, back to taking care of myself before anyone, hitting the GYM, eating healthy, going out with old friends male/female, feeling real good.

I just celebrated my 26th Birthday in Vegas. It was a great time. Now when I roll out I drink casual beers, I rarely get drunk. My game with talking with chicks has always been ten times better while sober.

I can't tell if I have been playing it right when I am at these clubs. I was banging this cute college girl for a while and when that ended I started pushing hard to pull some club girls.

I approach friendly, aggressive, sober, I dance real well, dress real well, and I am in great shape. I always end up dancing with a few different cute girls, get them laughing, hook up a bit, but I can't seem to seal the deal.

Two things have been happening and I can't get to the bottom of it...

1) I dance with the girl all night, make out, get really sexual with the Kino and then when it comes to getting in a cab or going back to her place/my place it always falls through. She can't leaver girlfriends, she has to leave with her friend, this or that.

2.) I get her number, wait a day or 2 to hit them up, and after I do they never get back to me.

I feel like I am getting to that point/age were I would like a nice GF to enjoy going dancing with, going to the movies with on a weekend, and not always doing the single club boys night. Unfortunately I realize I am not going to meet a girl in a club that I can take too seriously..

Am I just going through a funk right now? What do you guys think? I wouldn't be like this if I was pulling a girl every weekend lol but I play my cards so right I just can't seem to seal the deal at the club!!!

Some brotherly guidance please

I am going to help you out so much right now by being straight up with you.

Girls DON'T go to clubs to meet men in general (95%+). Wipe the idea of hooking up at clubs from your head right now bro. There is nothing wrong with you. You're not in a "funk". You are merely getting a sobering taste of what this post-Facebook-smartphone antisocial society is like in North America. People these days are still tight with their GRADE SCHOOL friends thanks to instant messaging, texting, FB, etc. That never used to happen 20+ years ago like it does now. It is just too easy to stay connected to your social circle that people have little motivation to go out and socialize with people that they don't already know.

Look, the last time there was a hookup culture at nightclubs, John Travolta was strutting his stuff in the movie Saturday Night Fever. That movie came out in 1977 bro. It is 2013 now. Wake up.

Here are the reasons girls go to clubs:

1) Party with their girlfriends - 50%
2) To feel "hot" (catch guys checking them out) - 35%
3) To feel like they still "got it" (to get approached by guys and make out, but have no intention of taking it further....does this sound familiar bro?) - 10%
4) Meet guys - 5%

Read above and look at the percentages. It is so easy for girls to get attention from betas in their existing social circle. Look, if a girl is single and she wants to hook up, she will have at least 5 guys ON THE SPOT to choose from in her social circle assuming that she is at least a 6. She DOES NOT need to go to a nightclub to meet a guy these days.

It just shocks me that guys still troll nightclubs with the idea of "hooking up" these days. It is a stone age philosophy. All I see at clubs are friends hanging around in their social circle. You can IMMEDIATELY tell who are the "PUA'S" crackup with some experience, and believe me, the girls can spot you a mile away as you circle the club and stare at them dancing. It is just creepy. Stop it.

Find places where people actually want to meet people.

In my ENTIRE life, I met ONE couple who hooked up at a club. They had a 5 year LTR. He was white, 6'3 and she was asian and had a tall white boy fetish. So if you're a girls idea of the perfect guy, she MIGHT consider taking it further with you. But unless the stars align, it ain't happening.

 

[Mike32ct]

This piece of advice may or may not apply to you, but I wanted to get this off my chest because I think it might help a lot of guys. I learned this the hard way...

Make sure the club/bar actually IS a solid HOOKUP place. I think a lot of guys go to particular clubs and bars for the wrong reasons:

1. Their friend or friend's friend tells them "it's really good."
2. They see lots of girls in short dresses and assume it's a get laid paradise.
3. They heard rumors about other guys scoring there.

When choosing a pickup joint consider the following:

1. Do you like/enjoy the place? (If you hate it, move on.)
2. Are people hooking up there? (I mean strangers, not people in the same group.)
3. Is it safe? If it's full of fights, go elsewhere.

What I recommend is doing some recon first. Go to your favorite club or bar and just observe. Get there early and stay all night. Drink, enjoy the music, but be generally aware of who comes in together, who makes out and WHO LEAVES together. Yes, you'll have to be sort of a creeper for a night lol, but it's worth it in the long run.

Are strangers actually meeting and hooking up there? Approaching, talking, dancing, passing their phone to number close, MAKING OUT, and a few ultimately LEAVING TOGETHER? This is critical, especially the leaving together.

There are a lot of places were people just show up in groups, party and then go home as groups. People stay in their groups or at most have a few conversations with strangers and that's it. These places often have lots of hot women and look great on the surface, but if you are looking to score, they are awful. They just AREN'T hookup places, but you have to be very observant to see that. Honestly, there is no way to know for sure except to observe.

You really need to SEE FIRST HAND if it is truly a place where people hook up. I don't care what your buddys say. If it's not, research another place and keep trying until you find one. Then focus your game on THAT place.

Now that I vented... on to specific advice for you...

1. Maybe tone down the making out a bit. You can still make out, but keep it brief and pull away each time. Leave her wanting more. You want to send the unspoken message that, "If you want to do more, we have to go somewhere else. This isn't the place."

The other reason for showing more restraint is getting too physical puts her friends on HIGH CAWKBLOCKING ALERT. It becomes way too obvious that you are trying to pull her.

2. If you think you were close to pulling her, but her friends or logistics appear to make it impossible, get the number, but try texting her later the same night. She might have more flexibility after her friends drop her off home. It might still be a long shot, but it's better than waiting a few days after the club high wears off and having her flake.

Overall, it sounds like you have a lot going for you and a lot of potential in this game. I think it's a matter of finding the right venue, fine tuning things a bit, and persisting until you strike gold.

Good luck man.

 

[Mike32ct]

I don't disagree with TilltheEndofTime. He's one of my favorite posters .

But I will try to reconcile our two conflicting posts...

Most clubs are just group social circle party and AW joints with little or no hookups. I agree with that COMPLETELY.

What I am saying is, if you must play this game, you have to really REALLY hunt for a good place where people do hook up. These places exist, but are becoming very rare and hard to find.

In my entire state, I only know of one decent place, but it's kind of young for me.

Look, the last time there was a hookup culture at nightclubs, John Travolta was strutting his stuff in the movie Saturday Night Fever. That movie came out in 1977 bro. It is 2013 now. Wake up.

I'm learning Hustle in dance class. Then it's gonna be Mike70sCT .

Till the End of Time: I know you talked about clubs. Do you think hookup culture is also dead in bars? Or did you mean bars and clubs? Just curious what your thoughts were.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

I don't disagree with TilltheEndofTime. He's one of my favorite posters .

But I will try to reconcile our two conflicting posts...

Most clubs are just group social circle party and AW joints with little or no hookups. I agree with that COMPLETELY.

What I am saying is, if you must play this game, you have to really REALLY hunt for a good place where people do hook up. These places exist, but are becoming very rare and hard to find.

In my entire state, I only know of one decent place, but it's kind of young for me.



I'm learning Hustle in dance class. Then it's gonna be Mike70sCT .

Till the End of Time: I know you talked about clubs. Do you think hookup culture is also dead in bars? Or did you mean bars and clubs? Just curious what your thoughts were.

Hey, thanks for the cred man.

I don't think there is much difference between bars & clubs these days. I must admit, that I am biased because my experiences are all in Toronto. Toronto is known for being one of the more closed-off major cities in North America, so MAYBE it as not as bad in other cities.

But basically, the reasons hooking up in clubs is dead don't change when you move the venue to bars. I see the same thing. Groups of friends coming together and leaving together. I don't think I have even seen two strangers talk and leaving together in a bar here.

At bars, I just see friends laughing and messaging each other on Facebook (while they are 3 feet away from each other). Uploading pictures together, etc. Any time there is a group of girls, they mostly avoid eye contact or even give DEATH STARES to you. If there is ever a girl in a bar alone, she is typically waiting for a friend or bf and doing everything she possibly can to avoid getting approached (PURPOSELY avoiding eye contact, acting busy with her phone, etc).

I don't recommend EVER going to a club or bar unless having fun is NOT contingent on hooking up with a girl. Because bro, prepare to be disappointed. If I ever go out, I am usually with at least one friend and sure I check out girls and look out for opportunities, but I'm enjoying myself no matter what happens.

I understand where you are coming from. For some reason, certain places attract a different type of crowd and socializing actually happens. Those are hidden gems and I imagine guys will fight for the secrecy with their lives. lol To be honest, I have not seen these places in Toronto.

 

[spiegel549]

Thanks boys, both of you gave me damn good information. You know I use to do the heavy bar scene all the time when I lived in New Jersey/New York and exactly like you said, I always went out with 5-10 people that I knew growing up. The club/bar scene was ALWAYS a blast because I already had my best friends male/female with me, I didn't need anyone else to enjoy myself.

Now I have been living in Los Angeles for 2 years, all my buddies I grew up with for 24 years are back east and I have been rolling out with a few new "Friends" and its just not the same. Especially if you go out with people whose only goal is "to get laid."

From experience where have you two found is a ideal time/spot for the best chances of meeting single chicks? Malls? Day time lunch spots maybe? Dance class? I have had some good experiences from the girls working in the malls.

What do you think?

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

Now I have been living in Los Angeles for 2 years, all my buddies I grew up with for 24 years are back east and I have been rolling out with a few new "Friends" and its just not the same. Especially if you go out with people whose only goal is "to get laid."

Avoid those types of guys. Been there, done that. They're not fun to be around. They whine and nag when they don't get any action. They will leave you at the bar or table to troll the club getting reject time after time. If they're your ride, they might even leave you to go somewhere with a girl. I only have fun with friends who are not actively trying to get laid.

From experience where have you two found is a ideal time/spot for the best chances of meeting single chicks? Malls? Day time lunch spots maybe? Dance class? I have had some good experiences from the girls working in the malls.

What do you think?

I'm not big on malls, or girls working in malls. Please define "good experiences" with girls working in malls. Girlfriends? Lays? Or just nice chit-chat? Remember, girls working in malls are basically paid to be friendly. In clothing stores, they flirt to help get a sale & commission. I have had girls gently touch me on the hips/shoulder while trying on clothes, I liked the attention, but I also knew exactly what they were doing. Be wary. If you're not getting action, it doesn't mean anything.

 

[spiegel549]

Avoid those types of guys. Been there, done that. They're not fun to be around. They whine and nag when they don't get any action. They will leave you at the bar or table to troll the club getting reject time after time. If they're your ride, they might even leave you to go somewhere with a girl. I only have fun with friends who are not actively trying to get laid.

^^^^^
I am glad to hear that from someone on Sosuave. I have other guy friends that like to go out and just have fun, would never leave each other stranded for some broad, at least not without telling me they are leaving, and they always stick to the "Bros before Ho's" code of conduct so to speak.

Sometimes a Saturday night rolls in and the only available guys to go out are those "we gotta get laid" guys. I hate to stay in so I usually roll out with that crowd. Time and time again, there is always drama when I go out with them, seems like I finally need to just avoid those types.

Yeah sure its great to go out and get laid lol, but it can't be your main and only objective every time you go out.

As far as the malls, yeah chit chat, getting numbers. I see what your saying. Retail, trying to get a sale "let me flirt with this guy so he spends his money." Exactly bro.

Thanks for the guidance! I am glad I heard it from my sosuave brothers, it finally confirms my actions and what I have been thinking recently.

Thanks again!

 

[floydb25]

Yes... Definitely avoid those kind of guys. They are the WORST. They also tend to be very competitive, egotistical, fake, insecure, obsessed with status, etc. All they care about is drinking and getting laid. Hate 'em. :box:

 

[PackDaddy]

Would you hang out with men who were sporting vaginas? By focusing on getting laid they are big time putting the P on the P! I can't stand hanging out with vaginas unless they're opening for me. **** those guys man.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Agree with Mike. I've been laid plenty of times after getting a girl's and hitting her up after she's left the club with her friends.
My best mate even got laid after ringing a girl from a cab and said: "I'm in a cab right now, what's your address."
Strike while the iron is hot. Just tell em you've got pizza to share, or ask her if she's keen to keep partying at hers or does she fancy a nightcap.

 

[SamTheHobit]

Normally the only reason I go to clubs is "pick up girls" and 90% of the time the girl I hook up with, my friend ends up hooking up with her friend.

So in the end it works itself out.

 

[spiegel549]

Right on guys, good stuff.

I haven't tried the call while I am heading home or after the broad has left. I had the "wait 2 days rule" drilled in my head since I was 17 that sometimes I forget to break the rule in certain situations. I will give it a go for sure.

You know maybe its something a few of you can relate to, maybe not. I am born and raised NJ/NY east coast Italian 100%. I have a really loud, outspoken in your face attitude and even the girls from the east coast are the same way and I love that. Since I came out here to (Los Angeles) the past 2 years I just haven't felt like I clicked with these California girls. I feel like maybe I should adjust my game a little bit..but then I don't want to change who I am, and who I will always be for some broad ya know?

Can anyone relate to that? What do you guys think?

 

[Naughty Ninja]

Right on guys, good stuff.

I haven't tried the call while I am heading home or after the broad has left. I had the "wait 2 days rule" drilled in my head since I was 17 that sometimes I forget to break the rule in certain situations. I will give it a go for sure.

You know maybe its something a few of you can relate to, maybe not. I am born and raised NJ/NY east coast Italian 100%. I have a really loud, outspoken in your face attitude and even the girls from the east coast are the same way and I love that. Since I came out here to (Los Angeles) the past 2 years I just haven't felt like I clicked with these California girls. I feel like maybe I should adjust my game a little bit..but then I don't want to change who I am, and who I will always be for some broad ya know?

Can anyone relate to that? What do you guys think?

I know I tend to tone it down a bit when I go elsewhere for the most part as I don't want to come off seemingly as too obnoxious with the NY accent and "attitude", then again I don't last long till I'm back to it.

Some chicks may like it. Others won't. Just be friendly, outgoing, social, and confident besides looking good of course. That's all you can pretty much do.