I have a terrible time trying to do some public speaking. For example: I get training courses at my work alot and i have to go to them and often my "team" have to stand up and speak infront of the class. We all usualy get a shot at some point. Today i had one n i more or less volunteered myself for the last one cos i thought it should be a piece of cake.(Im in a band ive done 3 gigs each time i got on stage sometimes in front of a couple of hundred and done vocals and that went pretty well) But for some reason when i speak in a class room type situation I get the flight or fight reponse any idea why?
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
public speaking help?
- Thread starter wildchild
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Royal Elite
Banned
You need to give yourself a good reson for doing it. Make sure the reason is a SC one. SC is what i call Super confidence-meaning give yourself the most arrogent reason why you are about to speak and keep doing it. I teach at my temple and before I would go up at first I would always tell myself Im giving glory to God and thats the best thing anyone could do. So nothing else really mattered after that. So give yourself a SC reason to do it and not a half azz reason. Keep telling yourself it and after doing it for a while it will be a cake walk.
Maybe all you need is some outside help to gain confidence when you speak in front of people. Try toastmasters.
http://www.toastmasters.org/
http://www.toastmasters.org/
Most people are more afraid of public speaking then dead. The problem is that most use their logic mind too much. There are three key factors for public speaking: Know the room, know your audience and know your material. The trick is to go on auto-pilot. Most people concentrate on giving a good performance, not making any mistakes. These are the ones that totally suck at it. The one thing that should always be avoided is a monologue with your innervoice.
For my study I had to debate in front of a full college room and I had to defend "the bad" opinion. I couldn't afford to give a sh*t what all these other students think about me, nor did I have the time to deeply over think my arguments. Because I knew my material, the room and my audience. There wasn't any need for doubt, because it's doubt in yourself that causes the trouble. The only thing I did was focus on my opponent. Good practice is to watch great speakers in the public political debates. And for a found knowledge on debating read The Oratore by Cicero.
If you can debate, all other forms of public speaking are a peace of cake.
For my study I had to debate in front of a full college room and I had to defend "the bad" opinion. I couldn't afford to give a sh*t what all these other students think about me, nor did I have the time to deeply over think my arguments. Because I knew my material, the room and my audience. There wasn't any need for doubt, because it's doubt in yourself that causes the trouble. The only thing I did was focus on my opponent. Good practice is to watch great speakers in the public political debates. And for a found knowledge on debating read The Oratore by Cicero.
If you can debate, all other forms of public speaking are a peace of cake.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
diablo
Master Don Juan
Anything Else...
Alpine
Master Don Juan
Toastmasters mate, that's what you need.
I've considered it myself, but to my shame I haven't pucked up the courage yet.
Apparently it changes you bigstyle, you become fearless in all areas of your life and really learn how to utilise your voice and work up a room.
When you are famous, you'll be glad you did, comes in handy for all those after dinner speaking engagements
I've considered it myself, but to my shame I haven't pucked up the courage yet.
Apparently it changes you bigstyle, you become fearless in all areas of your life and really learn how to utilise your voice and work up a room.
When you are famous, you'll be glad you did, comes in handy for all those after dinner speaking engagements
Alpine
Master Don Juan
You're thinking too much. Performance anxiety creates a very viscous circle.
CableLight
Master Don Juan
I've never understood the whole "speaking in public" fear some people have. I don't get it...I mean, it's just talking. So what if there's a bunch of people who sit and watch you? When you're up there, you're like the man in charge and whatnot - Take the opportunity you have to speak your mind to a bunch of people and make it worth while.
Also, make it fun. I've always thought one of the best things in the world was being up infront of a class and cracking a joke or something and getting 20+ people laughing. If nothing else, it's distinguishing.
Also, make it fun. I've always thought one of the best things in the world was being up infront of a class and cracking a joke or something and getting 20+ people laughing. If nothing else, it's distinguishing.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Alpine
Master Don Juan
Cablelight,
It may not be public speaking, but I bet you have some irrational fear/phobia. It's like people fear little spiders or even balloons!
A learned association that has anchored a fear response out of all proportion to the actual stimuli.
It may not be public speaking, but I bet you have some irrational fear/phobia. It's like people fear little spiders or even balloons!
A learned association that has anchored a fear response out of all proportion to the actual stimuli.