Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
This is a common misconception in the community, I believe it's because the community is mostly filled with guys who have had a lack of success with women. I am more rare because I have had success, just not the kind of success that some of my friends have. I see the consistant success they get and i feel like I should be able to have that same success, it doesnt seem like they work that hard for it. I have high aspirations because of this. I know many guys who on any given night can pull. I know a guy who pulled 30 girls as many days. I have a best friend who ALWAYS has a hot chick on his **** -- ALWAYS. I have a good buddy who has pulled the last 2 times I have gone out with him. This is the standards I am trying to live up to and it is leaving me frustrated. I feel like the time is ticking, but I know that I really dont have my life together ... so even when I have shots at success something inside of me wants to sabotage it because I feel like my life is a brick wall preventing any good to come from mastering this skill.PrinceBeavis said:You broke off the engagement? Why?
This part is soo true...Playboy said:Once you bring someone else into your world and you get to know them and the novelty wears off -- then the real challenges begin. You think game is hard? Try a serious relationship.
I wouldn't be surprised if you're living a life pretty similar to theirs. Personally, I don't really want their life and Mystery, Style, Tyler don't strike me as truly happy people.Playboy said:You know I have lost my north. Ever since my engagement failed the only thing I have cared about is trying to live a lifestyle similar to what these fabled guru's claim to live ... what kept me going was the idea that I could become this player with all kinds of women in my life and be able to walk into any place and make friends and become a social hub ... I guess I was trying to recapture the good old days ... but maybe I just need to accept that getting women and friends isnt a science, that all you can really do is build a life that you can be happy for in and of itself, for yourself -- not for others -- and then just keep the faith that things will happen for you if you let them, and if your happy for what you do have.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Mystery? Hell no. Style? No idea. Tyler these days, he seems very happy to me...izza said:I wouldn't be surprised if you're living a life pretty similar to theirs. Personally, I don't really want their life and Mystery, Style, Tyler don't strike me as truly happy people.
It sounds like you've found what you need to find from the bar life. Maybe take up racketball?
Izza
Playboy, I know where you are coming from. My suggestion is to cut back on using bars for PU and substitute PU in other places. I also think you said a mouthful when you said it's not a science. You can have too many of these PU ideas get ingrained in your mind that really don't help you and may even hinder truely progressing as a person. It is common to fall in the trap of trying to get any and every girl to have sex and trying to impress or attract her. When it would probably be more beneficial to have the mindset of finding a girl that you are really attracted to and qualifying her potential to benefit you in ways beyond just sex.Playboy said:You know I have lost my north. Ever since my engagement failed the only thing I have cared about is trying to live a lifestyle similar to what these fabled guru's claim to live ... what kept me going was the idea that I could become this player with all kinds of women in my life and be able to walk into any place and make friends and become a social hub ... I guess I was trying to recapture the good old days ... but maybe I just need to accept that getting women and friends isnt a science, that all you can really do is build a life that you can be happy for in and of itself, for yourself -- not for others -- and then just keep the faith that things will happen for you if you let them, and if your happy for what you do have.